Disclaimers- Don't own, want to buy, don't sue, no money, boo-hoo.
Warnings- RELENA-BASHING!!! MAJOR OOC!!! (Trowa wouldn't talk as much, etc.) WOASR!!! (Written
on a sugar rush!) More OOC! AU because obviously Melissa can not meet the Gundam
Boys.
Authors' Notes- We're gonna die cause Elaine is gonna kill us. Don't flame too much. Forgive
any mistakes.
D45 and S27's
*THE TALE OF HEERONATOR AND HODINI ELAINE THE PAIN*
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Duo- What? What'd I miss?
Melissa- Nothing important.
Duo-Then what?
Melissa- Elaine thinks that Heero is cute, and Heero has the hots for Elaine!
Duo- You're right. It is nothing. You wanna know what's big?
Melissa- What?
Duo- You're dogs are outta dog food!
Melissa- OH NO!!! That is big! CAll 911! Call 911! Call my parents! Call my lawyer!
Call my friends! Call the animal shelter! Call everybody!
Duo- Right. Tell your dad to buy some more dog food tonight. Got it.
Melissa- Thanks.
Duo- This is a sad world. Elaine and Heero are ga-ga over each other. Relena's gonna be
ticked. Trowa likes ALL of Quatre's sisters. Quatre is in love with Catherine, and Trowa
knows it. And Wufat?
Wufei- Wu-FEI! Wu-FEI!!!
Melissa- Yeah! We know! It's Wufat!
Duo- Wufat hits on every single babe out there.
Melissa- You're right. The world is sad! NOTHING GOOD IS ON SUNDAYS!!!
Duo- There's wrestling. I think.
Wufei- Why is everybody holding that babe statement against me?
Trowa- Future reference.
Quatre- You like my sisters?
Trowa- You like MY sister?
Catherine- What's wrong with that? *Leaves*
Duo- Yeah? What's wrong with that?
Melissa- Why is it that you guys ALWAYS manage to pop up in my letters to people?
Wufei- We have that ability.
Duo- And you sir. Like BABES!
Melissa- This is getting boring. Let's write a story!!!!
Quatre- Like what?
D+M- A story between Elaine and Heero!!!!
Trowa- Figures.
Melissa- It could be a 'RFO'! I love those!
Duo- Only because Relena gets bashed! Then I become GAY! Ever think of it that way? Hmm?
Melissa- No. So? I wouldn't really care...it's just a fic.
Duo- That people read all over the nation!
Melissa- But it's fun!!!!
Quatre- You guys! We shouldn't be fighting at ALL!!!
Duo- And what's that suppose to mean?
Melissa- I'll start it! Once upon a time in a closet far, far, away lived a dude named...
Heeronator. He had fallen in love with a-
Duo- FROG!
Melissa- Frog. The frog was-
Quatre- Pink, purple, blue, green, yellow, barf green, asparagus, more green, black and white
with green poka dots!
Melissa- Okay. What Quatre said. The multi-color frog loved to-
Wufei- Pick up babes!
Melissa- NO! THE FROG'S A GIRL!
Wufei- Fine. Pick up trash.
Melissa- Okay pick up trash. Her name was-
Trowa- Hodini.
Melissa- I was aimmin' for Ostioporosis Catalog, but that's fine. Her name was Hodini Elaine.
They called her that because-
Trowa- She could walk on water...in the dead sea...on a surf board.
Melissa- Okay by me. Hodini Elaine decided that it was about time that she went to the closet
where-
Duo- Heeronator-
Trowa- Tight-walked.
Melissa- Fine...there had been a war a-
Quatre- Few seconds ago.
Melissa- And the winner was-
Duo- SHINIGAMI!
Melissa- And Heeronator happened to be Shinigami's friend. They-
Wufei- Picked up babes together!
Melissa- Until one day Heeronator got-
Quatre- A zit!
Trowa- On his foot.
Melissa- He wasn't vain.
Duo- He was crazy.
Melissa- He stayed in-
Duo- A stinky shoe-
Trowa- In the closet.
Melissa- Do to the-
Wufei- Babe! I mean zit. It-
Quatre- was tiny-
Melissa- What was the point of that?
Duo- Nothing.
Melissa- Heeronator saw-
Duo- Elaine The Pain!
Trowa- That's not her name.
Duo- So?
Melissa- Okay! Heeronator saw Hodini Elaine The Pain, and-
Duo- RAN OVER HER WITH A SHOPPING CART!!!
Trowa- Do you honestly think that there's a shopping cart in there?
Duo- Yeah.
Trowa- You're right.
Melissa- No Duo. Heeronator accidentally bumped into her on purpose. And-
Quatre- Hodini Elaine The Pain got really mad.
Melissa- But then realized that-
Duo- It was Heeronator the b*st*rd!
Melissa- And she fell in-
Quatre- A pit.
Melissa- That happened to be the LOVE pit.
Trowa- They fell in love got married. Got devorced, got back together, got devorced, got back
together, and had-
Duo- KI-
Melissa- Duo! I think it would take a longer time then that! I mean, what the heck?
Duo- Ri~ght...
Melissa- Heeronator and Hodini Elaine The Pain told each other their life story, but
Heeronator-
Trowa- Left out the part about-
Duo- Releny The Weeny!
Melissa- MAN! You and Trowa are just havin' SO much fun!!!
Duo- And don't we know it! *Gives Trowa a high 5*
Melissa- Releny The Weeny loved Heeronator, but Heeronator rejected her-
Quatre- So many times that SHE got-
Wufei- A babe! I mean zit!
Melissa- But Releny The Weeny didn't know about the 2 until-
Wufei- She went to the babe! I mean she went to the grocery store to-
Quatre- Fetch a bucket of water.
Duo- Releny The Weeny fell down-
Trowa- And broke her crown and-
Wufei- Everybody saw the babe's underwear!
Melissa- Ri~ght. Anyways. After everybody saw her underwear-
Duo- Shinigami kicked her butt!!!
Melissa- Like wise. Then Heeronator wanted to know what happened because-
Quatre- His wife-
Duo- Saw-
Wufei- The babe's underwear!
Melissa- Heeronator saw-
Wufei- The babe-
Trowa- And her underwear-
Duo- Then relized that it was Releny The Weeny and-
Melissa- Who's writing this down?
T+Q+D+W- We are!
Melissa- Okay...so am I...Then Releny The Weeny got up, and saw Heeronator. She-
Trowa- Yelled-
Wufei- Babe! I mean-
Quatre- Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeronaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaator! Here I am! Come back and-
Trowa- Kill me, and-
Duo- Shinigami said 'Okay!', and pushed her!
Wufei- And everybody saw the babe's underwear again!
Melissa- Releny The Weeny got up again and-
Quatre- Saw Heeronator and Hodini Elaine The Pain-
Duo- Kissing!
Melissa- And Releny The Weeny got-
Quatre- Another zit!
Melissa- She ran over to Heeronator and-
Quater- KISSED HIM!!!
Melissa- This lead to jealousy in his-
Wufei- BABE! I mean wife-
Duo- So she took a carrot, and shoved it down-
Wufei- The babe's underwear!
Melissa- What is with you and babes???
Wufei- Nothing! I just wanted to make conversation!
Melissa- Anyways! So Releny The Weeny got mad! And they had a-
Duo- FOOD FIGHT!!!
Melissa- Then everybody got involved! And-
Trowa- At the end Hodini Elaine The Pain and Releny The Weeny were still fighting over-
Duo- Old Mac Donald!
Melissa- Heeronator wasn't all that happy to see-
Quatre- Releny The Weeny so he-
Melissa- Took out a semi-automatic machine gun, and told-
Trowa- Hodini Elaine The Pain to move outta the way, and-
Duo- Go let him lounge in her lingerie!!!!
Melissa- Hodini Elaine The Pain disagreed with her soul-mate and-
Trowa- They got devorced-
Quatre- Then got back together!
Duo- Then Devorced!
Wufei- Then back together!
Melissa- DEVORCED!!!
Q+W- BACK TOGETHER!!!!
T+D+M- DEVORCED!!!!
Q+W- DEVORCED!!!!
T+D+M- THAT'S RIGHT! DEVORCED!!!!!
Quatre- Then back together.
Melissa- Then Hodini Elaine The Pain went to finish her battle with-
Wufei- The babe!
Melissa- Releny The Weeny was positive that she could not lose because she was convinced that
Heeronator LOVED her!
Trowa- Until she saw Hodini Elaine The Pain kissing-
Duo- Heeronator-!
Quatre- Underneath the misltoe-
Duo- Last night-
Trowa- We saw Heeronator-
Wufei- Kissing a babe last night!
Melissa- Uh...whatever. Anyways...Releny The Weeny was so heart broken that she-
Duo- Called upon the powers of Shinigami!
Trowa- But Shinigami got lost, in the misltoe-
Melissa- On his way to help Releny The Weeny so she called-
Quatre- A professional clown!
Trowa- Thanks Quatre.
Wufei- But he was too busy pickin' up babes so he-
Duo- Called upon the Shenlong-Wufat-Babe-Nataku Lover!
Melissa- But he was busy reading a book called-
Duo- How to pick up babes!
Wufei- So Releny The Weeny called Treizey Wastzy and-
Melissa- Releny The Weeny forgot all about Heeronator, and went with Treizy Wastzy however-
Duo- Before that Hodini Elaine The Pain kicked her butt!!!
Wufei- Again? *Quatre nods*
Trowa- Then ran off with Heeronator to the-
Melissa- Bahamas! Where they lived happily ever after until Releny The Weeny-
Duo- Found them again! She was-
Quatre- ZIT FULL!!!
Trowa- She thought that the cause of that was because-
Wufei- Babes rejected her!
Melissa- Wufei? Releny The Weeny is a girl.
Duo- Anyways...Umm...Heeronator was sick and-
Quatre- NON-ZIT FULL!!!
Trowa- Of Releny The Weeny so-
Melissa- He pulled out his semi-automatic machine gun and-
Wufei- And picked up the babe-
Melissa- Wufei's losing his memory again! Someone give him some more medicine! Forget the
medicine! Trowa? *Trowa nods, and punches Wufei causing a black out* Much better.
Trowa- And Heeronator shot Releny The Weeny many times-
Duo- But did not die because-
Quatre- Her zits saved her!
Melissa- Heeronator shot until he was outta bullets and-
Duo- Decided to do it MANULLY!!!!
Trowa- Heeronator took a-
Quatre- Bottle of zit remover then-
Melissa- Drank it! Then he got high on it, and passed out. After that Hodini Elaine The Pain got
really mad and-
Duo- Cut Releny The Weeny in half with a SCYTHE!
Trowa- She died.
Quatre- When the zit remover wore off-
Duo- Heeronator NEVER had a zit for the rest of his life!
Melissa- That made Hodini Elaine The Pain very happy.
Trowa- Until Releny The Weeny was recurrected by-
Quatre- The zit builder!
Wufei- ZZZZZzzzzzandBatmanZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZ.....
Melissa- After her recurrection-
Duo- She sowed herself back together...The scythe thing?
Trowa- And went after Treizey Wastzy then-
Quatre- They made a kingdom of Zit builder!
Melissa- The end.
Elaine- Hey! What'cha doin'?
Melissa- Uh...NOTHING!!! *Everybody hides there paper that they were writing the story on*
Nothing at all!!! Why do you ask Hodini Elaine The Pain? I mean Enchi?
Heero- *Raises eyebrow* Hodini Elaine The Pain?
Melissa- What? What are you talking about? I didn't say that!
Duo- Yeah! She said 'Martini's brain is lame'!
Trowa- What are you doing here? Aren't you two suppose to be fighting Releny The Weeny? I mean
OZ?
Heero- We stopped fighting OZ last year.
Elaine- Okay. What are you guys up to?
Duo- Did Trowa say OZ? NAH! He said POGS!
Quatre- Yeah! Weren't you fighting over POGS?
Elaine- I don't have POGS.
Heero- What are POGS?
Melissa- Uh...we...gotta...go! Yeah! Umm-
Duo- Gotta go get some more dog food! We're out! Can't let the dogs starve! Tootles! *Everybody
runs...except for Wufei*
Heero- Wufei? What's goin' on?
Wufei- ZZZZZzzzzznothingZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZ.....
Elaine- Hey! Look at these papers! *Picks up page 1, and reads* Once upon a time in a closet
far, far, away lived a dude named Heeronator...Okay...
Heero- Heeronator?
Elaine- *Shrugs* Who fell in love with a frog. The frog was pink, purple, blue, green, yellow,
barf green, asparagus, more green, black and white with green pokadots. The multi-color frog
loved to pick up trash. Her name was Hodini Elaine???!!!! UGH!!!! I'M GONNA KILL THEM ALL!!!!
Heero- Maybe you should read the rest of the story. *Skims through the rest of the story* UGH!
OMAE O KOROSU!!!!!
*From the broom closet*
Duo- OW!!! Why do we have to hide here?
Melissa- I dunno! Ask Trowa!
Quatre- Trowa?
Trowa- Someone, get off my me!
Quatre- Shh!! I heard something!
Trowa- That was me.
Heero- *Opens the closet* What are you doing in there???!!!
Duo- Uh...Looking for Heeronator?
*The End...Or is it?*
Heero- Only for the authors of this story! OMAE O KOROSU!!!!
D45- Don't cha think we need a chance to explain?
Duo- Yeah? I mean Elaine DOES think that you're cute!
Elaine- SHUT UP!!! *Turns red* Why do I have to be a frog?!
S27- Why do people die?
Heero- Because.
Duo- Exactly! Now if you would kindly let me go we'll be on our way!
Quatre- You guys! Shouldn't be fighting at all!!!
Trowa- Curse Wufei. CATHERINE! You just got a new target practice!
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Authors' Notes- Hope you liked it. The Wufei obsessing with babe thing, it's an inside joke. So,
whatever. Okay...SUGGESTIONS WANTED!!! That's all...dude-(Wufei- BABES!!!)s!
R&R!!! Oh, yeah, Yaoi skimmer-throughers, not Yaoi writers. JAA~!!!
