Disclaimers- Don't own, want to buy, don't sue, no money, boo-hoo.

Warnings- RELENA-BASHING!!! MAJOR OOC!!! (Trowa wouldn't talk as much, etc.) WOASR!!! (Written
on a sugar rush!) More OOC! AU because obviously Melissa can not meet the Gundam
Boys.

Authors' Notes- We're gonna die cause Elaine is gonna kill us. Don't flame too much. Forgive
any mistakes.



D45 and S27's

*THE TALE OF HEERONATOR AND HODINI ELAINE THE PAIN*


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Duo- What? What'd I miss?

Melissa- Nothing important.

Duo-Then what?

Melissa- Elaine thinks that Heero is cute, and Heero has the hots for Elaine!

Duo- You're right. It is nothing. You wanna know what's big?

Melissa- What?

Duo- You're dogs are outta dog food!

Melissa- OH NO!!! That is big! CAll 911! Call 911! Call my parents! Call my lawyer!
Call my friends! Call the animal shelter! Call everybody!

Duo- Right. Tell your dad to buy some more dog food tonight. Got it.

Melissa- Thanks.

Duo- This is a sad world. Elaine and Heero are ga-ga over each other. Relena's gonna be
ticked. Trowa likes ALL of Quatre's sisters. Quatre is in love with Catherine, and Trowa
knows it. And Wufat?

Wufei- Wu-FEI! Wu-FEI!!!

Melissa- Yeah! We know! It's Wufat!

Duo- Wufat hits on every single babe out there.

Melissa- You're right. The world is sad! NOTHING GOOD IS ON SUNDAYS!!!

Duo- There's wrestling. I think.

Wufei- Why is everybody holding that babe statement against me?

Trowa- Future reference.

Quatre- You like my sisters?

Trowa- You like MY sister?

Catherine- What's wrong with that? *Leaves*

Duo- Yeah? What's wrong with that?

Melissa- Why is it that you guys ALWAYS manage to pop up in my letters to people?

Wufei- We have that ability.

Duo- And you sir. Like BABES!

Melissa- This is getting boring. Let's write a story!!!!

Quatre- Like what?

D+M- A story between Elaine and Heero!!!!

Trowa- Figures.

Melissa- It could be a 'RFO'! I love those!

Duo- Only because Relena gets bashed! Then I become GAY! Ever think of it that way? Hmm?

Melissa- No. So? I wouldn't really care...it's just a fic.

Duo- That people read all over the nation!

Melissa- But it's fun!!!!

Quatre- You guys! We shouldn't be fighting at ALL!!!

Duo- And what's that suppose to mean?

Melissa- I'll start it! Once upon a time in a closet far, far, away lived a dude named...
Heeronator. He had fallen in love with a-

Duo- FROG!

Melissa- Frog. The frog was-

Quatre- Pink, purple, blue, green, yellow, barf green, asparagus, more green, black and white
with green poka dots!

Melissa- Okay. What Quatre said. The multi-color frog loved to-

Wufei- Pick up babes!

Melissa- NO! THE FROG'S A GIRL!

Wufei- Fine. Pick up trash.

Melissa- Okay pick up trash. Her name was-

Trowa- Hodini.

Melissa- I was aimmin' for Ostioporosis Catalog, but that's fine. Her name was Hodini Elaine.
They called her that because-

Trowa- She could walk on water...in the dead sea...on a surf board.

Melissa- Okay by me. Hodini Elaine decided that it was about time that she went to the closet
where-

Duo- Heeronator-

Trowa- Tight-walked.

Melissa- Fine...there had been a war a-

Quatre- Few seconds ago.

Melissa- And the winner was-

Duo- SHINIGAMI!

Melissa- And Heeronator happened to be Shinigami's friend. They-

Wufei- Picked up babes together!

Melissa- Until one day Heeronator got-

Quatre- A zit!

Trowa- On his foot.

Melissa- He wasn't vain.

Duo- He was crazy.

Melissa- He stayed in-

Duo- A stinky shoe-

Trowa- In the closet.

Melissa- Do to the-

Wufei- Babe! I mean zit. It-

Quatre- was tiny-

Melissa- What was the point of that?

Duo- Nothing.

Melissa- Heeronator saw-

Duo- Elaine The Pain!

Trowa- That's not her name.

Duo- So?

Melissa- Okay! Heeronator saw Hodini Elaine The Pain, and-

Duo- RAN OVER HER WITH A SHOPPING CART!!!

Trowa- Do you honestly think that there's a shopping cart in there?

Duo- Yeah.

Trowa- You're right.

Melissa- No Duo. Heeronator accidentally bumped into her on purpose. And-

Quatre- Hodini Elaine The Pain got really mad.

Melissa- But then realized that-

Duo- It was Heeronator the b*st*rd!

Melissa- And she fell in-

Quatre- A pit.

Melissa- That happened to be the LOVE pit.

Trowa- They fell in love got married. Got devorced, got back together, got devorced, got back
together, and had-

Duo- KI-

Melissa- Duo! I think it would take a longer time then that! I mean, what the heck?

Duo- Ri~ght...

Melissa- Heeronator and Hodini Elaine The Pain told each other their life story, but
Heeronator-

Trowa- Left out the part about-

Duo- Releny The Weeny!

Melissa- MAN! You and Trowa are just havin' SO much fun!!!

Duo- And don't we know it! *Gives Trowa a high 5*

Melissa- Releny The Weeny loved Heeronator, but Heeronator rejected her-

Quatre- So many times that SHE got-

Wufei- A babe! I mean zit!

Melissa- But Releny The Weeny didn't know about the 2 until-

Wufei- She went to the babe! I mean she went to the grocery store to-

Quatre- Fetch a bucket of water.

Duo- Releny The Weeny fell down-

Trowa- And broke her crown and-

Wufei- Everybody saw the babe's underwear!

Melissa- Ri~ght. Anyways. After everybody saw her underwear-

Duo- Shinigami kicked her butt!!!

Melissa- Like wise. Then Heeronator wanted to know what happened because-

Quatre- His wife-

Duo- Saw-

Wufei- The babe's underwear!

Melissa- Heeronator saw-

Wufei- The babe-

Trowa- And her underwear-

Duo- Then relized that it was Releny The Weeny and-

Melissa- Who's writing this down?

T+Q+D+W- We are!

Melissa- Okay...so am I...Then Releny The Weeny got up, and saw Heeronator. She-

Trowa- Yelled-

Wufei- Babe! I mean-

Quatre- Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeronaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaator! Here I am! Come back and-

Trowa- Kill me, and-

Duo- Shinigami said 'Okay!', and pushed her!

Wufei- And everybody saw the babe's underwear again!

Melissa- Releny The Weeny got up again and-

Quatre- Saw Heeronator and Hodini Elaine The Pain-

Duo- Kissing!

Melissa- And Releny The Weeny got-

Quatre- Another zit!

Melissa- She ran over to Heeronator and-

Quater- KISSED HIM!!!

Melissa- This lead to jealousy in his-

Wufei- BABE! I mean wife-

Duo- So she took a carrot, and shoved it down-

Wufei- The babe's underwear!

Melissa- What is with you and babes???

Wufei- Nothing! I just wanted to make conversation!

Melissa- Anyways! So Releny The Weeny got mad! And they had a-

Duo- FOOD FIGHT!!!

Melissa- Then everybody got involved! And-

Trowa- At the end Hodini Elaine The Pain and Releny The Weeny were still fighting over-

Duo- Old Mac Donald!

Melissa- Heeronator wasn't all that happy to see-

Quatre- Releny The Weeny so he-

Melissa- Took out a semi-automatic machine gun, and told-

Trowa- Hodini Elaine The Pain to move outta the way, and-

Duo- Go let him lounge in her lingerie!!!!

Melissa- Hodini Elaine The Pain disagreed with her soul-mate and-

Trowa- They got devorced-

Quatre- Then got back together!

Duo- Then Devorced!

Wufei- Then back together!

Melissa- DEVORCED!!!

Q+W- BACK TOGETHER!!!!

T+D+M- DEVORCED!!!!

Q+W- DEVORCED!!!!

T+D+M- THAT'S RIGHT! DEVORCED!!!!!

Quatre- Then back together.

Melissa- Then Hodini Elaine The Pain went to finish her battle with-

Wufei- The babe!

Melissa- Releny The Weeny was positive that she could not lose because she was convinced that
Heeronator LOVED her!

Trowa- Until she saw Hodini Elaine The Pain kissing-

Duo- Heeronator-!

Quatre- Underneath the misltoe-

Duo- Last night-

Trowa- We saw Heeronator-

Wufei- Kissing a babe last night!

Melissa- Uh...whatever. Anyways...Releny The Weeny was so heart broken that she-

Duo- Called upon the powers of Shinigami!

Trowa- But Shinigami got lost, in the misltoe-

Melissa- On his way to help Releny The Weeny so she called-

Quatre- A professional clown!

Trowa- Thanks Quatre.

Wufei- But he was too busy pickin' up babes so he-

Duo- Called upon the Shenlong-Wufat-Babe-Nataku Lover!

Melissa- But he was busy reading a book called-

Duo- How to pick up babes!

Wufei- So Releny The Weeny called Treizey Wastzy and-

Melissa- Releny The Weeny forgot all about Heeronator, and went with Treizy Wastzy however-

Duo- Before that Hodini Elaine The Pain kicked her butt!!!

Wufei- Again? *Quatre nods*

Trowa- Then ran off with Heeronator to the-

Melissa- Bahamas! Where they lived happily ever after until Releny The Weeny-

Duo- Found them again! She was-

Quatre- ZIT FULL!!!

Trowa- She thought that the cause of that was because-

Wufei- Babes rejected her!

Melissa- Wufei? Releny The Weeny is a girl.

Duo- Anyways...Umm...Heeronator was sick and-

Quatre- NON-ZIT FULL!!!

Trowa- Of Releny The Weeny so-

Melissa- He pulled out his semi-automatic machine gun and-

Wufei- And picked up the babe-

Melissa- Wufei's losing his memory again! Someone give him some more medicine! Forget the
medicine! Trowa? *Trowa nods, and punches Wufei causing a black out* Much better.

Trowa- And Heeronator shot Releny The Weeny many times-

Duo- But did not die because-

Quatre- Her zits saved her!

Melissa- Heeronator shot until he was outta bullets and-

Duo- Decided to do it MANULLY!!!!

Trowa- Heeronator took a-

Quatre- Bottle of zit remover then-

Melissa- Drank it! Then he got high on it, and passed out. After that Hodini Elaine The Pain got
really mad and-

Duo- Cut Releny The Weeny in half with a SCYTHE!

Trowa- She died.

Quatre- When the zit remover wore off-

Duo- Heeronator NEVER had a zit for the rest of his life!

Melissa- That made Hodini Elaine The Pain very happy.

Trowa- Until Releny The Weeny was recurrected by-

Quatre- The zit builder!

Wufei- ZZZZZzzzzzandBatmanZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZ.....

Melissa- After her recurrection-

Duo- She sowed herself back together...The scythe thing?

Trowa- And went after Treizey Wastzy then-

Quatre- They made a kingdom of Zit builder!

Melissa- The end.

Elaine- Hey! What'cha doin'?

Melissa- Uh...NOTHING!!! *Everybody hides there paper that they were writing the story on*
Nothing at all!!! Why do you ask Hodini Elaine The Pain? I mean Enchi?

Heero- *Raises eyebrow* Hodini Elaine The Pain?

Melissa- What? What are you talking about? I didn't say that!

Duo- Yeah! She said 'Martini's brain is lame'!

Trowa- What are you doing here? Aren't you two suppose to be fighting Releny The Weeny? I mean
OZ?

Heero- We stopped fighting OZ last year.

Elaine- Okay. What are you guys up to?

Duo- Did Trowa say OZ? NAH! He said POGS!

Quatre- Yeah! Weren't you fighting over POGS?

Elaine- I don't have POGS.

Heero- What are POGS?

Melissa- Uh...we...gotta...go! Yeah! Umm-

Duo- Gotta go get some more dog food! We're out! Can't let the dogs starve! Tootles! *Everybody
runs...except for Wufei*

Heero- Wufei? What's goin' on?

Wufei- ZZZZZzzzzznothingZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZ.....

Elaine- Hey! Look at these papers! *Picks up page 1, and reads* Once upon a time in a closet
far, far, away lived a dude named Heeronator...Okay...

Heero- Heeronator?

Elaine- *Shrugs* Who fell in love with a frog. The frog was pink, purple, blue, green, yellow,
barf green, asparagus, more green, black and white with green pokadots. The multi-color frog
loved to pick up trash. Her name was Hodini Elaine???!!!! UGH!!!! I'M GONNA KILL THEM ALL!!!!

Heero- Maybe you should read the rest of the story. *Skims through the rest of the story* UGH!
OMAE O KOROSU!!!!!

*From the broom closet*

Duo- OW!!! Why do we have to hide here?

Melissa- I dunno! Ask Trowa!

Quatre- Trowa?

Trowa- Someone, get off my me!

Quatre- Shh!! I heard something!

Trowa- That was me.

Heero- *Opens the closet* What are you doing in there???!!!

Duo- Uh...Looking for Heeronator?

*The End...Or is it?*

Heero- Only for the authors of this story! OMAE O KOROSU!!!!

D45- Don't cha think we need a chance to explain?

Duo- Yeah? I mean Elaine DOES think that you're cute!

Elaine- SHUT UP!!! *Turns red* Why do I have to be a frog?!

S27- Why do people die?

Heero- Because.

Duo- Exactly! Now if you would kindly let me go we'll be on our way!

Quatre- You guys! Shouldn't be fighting at all!!!

Trowa- Curse Wufei. CATHERINE! You just got a new target practice!

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Authors' Notes- Hope you liked it. The Wufei obsessing with babe thing, it's an inside joke. So,
whatever. Okay...SUGGESTIONS WANTED!!! That's all...dude-(Wufei- BABES!!!)s!
R&R!!! Oh, yeah, Yaoi skimmer-throughers, not Yaoi writers. JAA~!!!