….What it is to be held…

The doors to the emergency room were burst open as 6 doctors rushed a woman through on a gurney a dristraught man was held back as the doctor rushed the woman into surgery.

"im sorry you cant come in there."

"shes my wife!"

"im sorry." The doctor followed in persuit leaving the desperate man being held back by his long time friend.

"monk, listen to me, she's gonna be fine."

"what about my son and daughter, Leland I cant lose them!" monk collapsed to the floor, Leland knelt by his beloved friend and watched as he crumbled and became a broken man.

"they are going to be fine, monk. You hear me. You are not going to lose them." Leland sat with his friend for hours until a doctor came to find them."

"what happened?" Leland spoke first he couldn't let monk take that weight again. This scene was all too familiar, they had been in the same situation twelve years ago. But then their was only one life at stake, but now there was four lives at risk.

"we had to deliver the twins, it was the only way to stop the bleeding, the stab wound punctured the cord, damaging the twins oxygen supply, they are in intensive care, but they cant breathe on their own. Im sorry to put you in this position, but one of the twins has a heart murmur, she needs a new heart, and quickly we cant put her on the transplant list it would take to long."

"what are you saying?" adrian monks voice was thick, and full of emotion.

"we are saying that you have to decide, which of the twins you want to save. I am truly sorry for your loss."

Adrian monk stared towards where his wife lay lying. In the background he could here Leland yelling at the doctor, but none of that mattered as he took hold of his wifes hand.

"im sorry Natalie, i…I should have stopped this form happening…I –" adrian bowed his head and felt natlaie brush away his tears.

"its not your fault. Please…plea…please don't blame yourself."

At that moment a doctor came in with some nurses.

Two months is too little
They let him go, They had no sudden healing
To think that providence

"its time."

Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling
Who told us we'd be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares

Natalie, Adrian, Leland and randy watched through the panel glass a the twins, Leland and randy watched as the nurses turned off the life support machine to which held Adrian and Natalie's son.

We're asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it's unfair

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive

the nurses placed him into the arms of his parents, their tears falling onto his still features.

This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held.

This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows

"You are so beautiful." Adrian whispered as the tears fell heavier as a piece of his heart died with his son.

The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow

"I love you, my beautiful, brave little boy. Mommy and daddy will always love you." Natalie leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss to the baby's forehead.

If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our savior

The nurse moved forward and gently removed the bundle from the grieving parents. Natallie sobbed into adrians chest while adrian held her in a protective embrace crying silent tears.

This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held

"chance." Adrian glanced down at his wife a question flooding his puffy eyes.

"our son should be called chance, he gave his little sister a second chance at life."

Adrian smiled as he though about his lost son. Chance only lived for a couple of hours, but he was the bravest boy any parent could have wished for. You gave up his life for his little sister.

"chance." Adrian whispered softly as he watched the nurses prep his little girl for surgery.

This is what it is to be held…