His Nametag Said Hello My Name Is: Goodbye Now Die

Summary: Yoichi Hiruma is a very mysterious youth…who really needs a hug. But um…the heavy artillery kinda throws people off. Football is a violent sport. Ping-pong is not. Or is it? Computers can't lie. But computer-hackers can. Allergic to cream puffs. (Huh? HUH!? HUUUUUUHHH??) Hiruma's weakness. Bad news. I've been threatened and I'm writing this! Spiderman hates him? Boxers or briefs? Spinich dip or fruit cakes? Ham or rye? OR HAM ON RYE?!

Hiruma: Sam I am…I hate you. Ham is a dead pig. Which will be you soon. Slings gun

Author (Sam): (he found out my real name?!)

Characters: Heck all of em!

Plot: Only Hiruma knows. Some Hirimori and Sensuzu and NO gay crap. shudder

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Eyeshield 21. And Suess is the Dr. round here not me.

A/N: Please pardon Hiruma's French. I've been interrupted from my Bleach fics by this stupid coolio story. Enjoy. DARN YOU! :3 (H has rubbed off on me.) Attention, this is TwiliteTGRgrl's dark side. ShadowTwiliteTGRgrl. All happy smiles exit the ride before momma comes with her pet tiger. Whose friggan hungry. Please don't be a bakamono and not review. I've got conections. (will except anything thrown my way…except stewed peanuts cuz that's sick. Save the food for the real animals of this zoo. Like Monta.)

Random Song of Moment: CrushCrushCrush by Paramore

Chapter One: Ya-Ha to Heck! Black eye of Heaven!

Word was out faster than the word 'word' could be written in English by a speedy chestnut. Yeah. Gears were turning in everyone's minds, and once inhibited, they just would keep on crawlin around like a cockroach, no matter how many times its head was hacked off. Was there any logic to any of these theories floating about the curious air? How the heck was anyone supposed to know! The only one who could answer was him, himself. And everyone knew that devil would take that answer with him to the grave. Or wherever he was going.

People murmured about it all day long, sneaking glances at the man in question if brave, and wondering all the while…was it true? The door to homeroom slammed open with a deafening crack. There he was the whispers confirmed. No doubt about it. The lanky demonish youth, walked with cool confident strides into the classroom, popping a meaningful bubble of sugarless gum and a leering glance at the shuddering teacher before making the usual snide witty comment. "Get back to work damn teach. These kids need some knowledge or they won't get nowhere in life! Think about all the Mickey D's without employees! Kekeke!" With bag slung over his shoulder, he calmly strode to his desk in the back row nearest the window. A heartfelt nametag handcrafted with love on the front of it said, "My desk damn it! Ya-Ha!" Eyes of course where all boring into him so he rebelliously stared every pupil's pupil down 

until they all looked away, for fear of meeting the snout of his menacing black bazooka strapped to his back.

"WHAT THE HELL YA STARIN AT EFFEN BIGMACS?!"

No one made another glance and whispers around him stopped like a flow of oxygen. And the lack of it suffocated all who was stuck near the intimidating blondie. But in their inquiring minds, the question still stood. How did Hiruma get a black eye? The thought of him ever receiving an injury like that was so mindboggling that the perplexing situation is under that word in the English dictionary! A fight? Nah. Who was that suicidal? Football? Nope. Minus his broken arm, he always wore a helmet so it didn't add up to the eye injury. THEN WHAT?

The answer was simple. Mamori knew what caused it. Heck it was so amusing she just about died on sight, but she felt bad for the boy's pride and clammed up.

"Hey Mamori-neechan!" Sena had stumbled into the clubhouse once Hiruma left for a brief moment, dying with curiousity, the rest of the team dancing with wonder.

"Hello Sena!"

"How'd Hiruma get that black eye? I mean I don't mean to be nosy but…I mean..um"

"SENA YOU'RE CURIOUS TOO!" A chorus of gruff voices growled impatiently at the chibi.

Mamori just smiled. "Well it's a funny story. But I can't say." She finished gathering paperwork and her clipboard and started outside, the others following closely. They gulped when they saw who was standing there with arms crossed and a rifle propped against the ground at his feet.

The pretty brunette ignored his warning glare and signaled with their special hand signs. Did. You. Destroy. The. Evidence?

Hiruma snarled angrily while replying the same way. Everyone just stared dumbly by the silent exchange. Damn. You. Effen. Manager. That. Broom Came. Out. Of. Nowhere.

Mamori laughed. But on the inside she sighed. Now she had to buy a new broom and the budget was so very tight right now.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sam: And I bet a broom tree is wilting right now. Crying for its lost child. Burned to a crisp by a flamethrower.

Hiruma: Damned right it is!

A/N: Yeah so that was weird for a 4 AM story right? But when I have inspiration its sommat I can't undo. Like Sena not being able to be rude. Hate my story? Well go grab a pickle…name it after Larry the Cucumber's half cousin Jerry, throw it away and drink pickle juice! XD :3 R&R Button below is NOT a self destruct button. Maybe.