Written: 1-08-17
-Sky
Can I be Him?
AN: PP3 (probably) some spoilers ahead. ANGST AHEAD (It's my sadist side calling lmao, don't read if you can't/doesn't handle angst). This is also somehow based on James Arthur's 'Can I be Him' (It just fits so right for my current BeChloe feels, lmao.)
PS: There's part two
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Pitch Perfect Franchise, including its characters, the movies and its plot. As well as the song/s that would be mentioned below.
ENJOY.
- 'I don't belong to you'-
- 'And you don't belong to me'-
Beca smiled bitterly at the memory. She could still remember that moment, the way her favourite person smiled at her, the way they sung those lines at one another. It's like a big sign for Beca, it hit her like a thunder.
It took her long enough to realize her own feelings for the redhead, and Beca was sure it wasn't something like what she used to have for Jesse before. Sure, she did love the guy, but Chloe? It's more than that. And living with the redhead after graduation had slowly helped Beca to be aware of what she has for her best friend.
And when the Bellas were in danger during that tour, Beca felt so scared of losing not only the bellas but specially Chloe. She honestly found herself not knowing what to do with her life if ever she loses the redhead at that very moment. That crisis made Beca be so certain that she is indeed in love with Chloe Beale.
Beca had almost confessed her feelings towards Chloe. Her hopes got up high when Fat Amy and even Aubrey, had told her that the redhead would also return the same feelings. Which was true.
Yeah, was.
Have you ever listened to a song and only fully appreciate its entire message after feeling your heart shatter in a million tiny pieces? Asking for a friend.
If yes, Beca could not agree even more to that. If no, back off, she's heart broken.
Another pained smile was plastered in the tiny brunette's face as she scrolled through a Tumblr post saying how 'Almost' is the saddest word in the world.
Because if ever, Beca had almost confessed her true feelings towards the redhead at that exact moment. She followed Chloe after her performance, their performance, actually. She had finally gathered the confidence to do so, she even got Amy who urged her to go after the redhead, Beca could remember the blonde muttering about living with the two of them with that kind of tension going on.
So, Beca did went to find Chloe.
Only to see her best friend, the person whom she had learned to love more than she had loved any other person, in the arms of that army guy, their lips attached. And, Beca had to watch them. Even if she mentally urged herself to look away, or to walk towards them and pull them apart.
She honestly felt weak that time, and the grossed expression in her face was a proof. And if she'd be honest, Theo coming into the picture helped her gain the remaining strength on her body to walk away.
Watching the love of your life kiss someone else is honestly a torture. All her hopes vanished through thin air.
That's why Beca was now so sure that if the word 'Almost' is the saddest word in the entire universe, then the saddest and the most excruciating pain in this world is watching the person you love so dearly, someone you almost have, be with someone else and seemingly happy.
Because if it's true that Chloe had the same feelings for her, then Beca couldn't hold onto that any further after seeing her kiss Chicago.
It also didn't help when Beca stayed in Atlanta for a few more weeks after their USO tour before going to LA with Theo for work.
Because those weeks were composed of Chloe casually talking about Chicago, and Beca had to feign her smiles, paying little attention to every story that will come out of Chloe's mouth. She knew Chicago is a nice guy though, but still.
And all Beca had done through those weeks was to contain her tears, say those; 'I'm happy for you, Chlo' and try to mean it without feeling her chest tighten up a little. If given a chance, Beca wishes to take Chicago's place and she'd make the redhead happier.
But it's a little too late now, is it?
Beca could tell that her best friend was clearly charmed off by the army guy, it's obvious by the way how Chloe's eyes lit up when mentioning the guy's name, the thing is, after that tour, the redhead would always talk about him. It usually irritates Beca, but she tried to keep her emotions intact, so Chloe wouldn't notice.
Yup, Beca is taking the 'bestfriend' role too seriously, that it freaking hurts. But it doesn't matter for Beca, because well, Chloe looked really happy and as much as Beca cringes at the word, the redhead seemed to be 'in love'.
This went on and on, and Amy would always throw a sorry look at Beca's way every single time.
Not until Beca has to go.
Albeit the distance, Beca regularly talks to Chloe or Amy. The brunette was a bit glad to be away from Chloe for a bit, since she wasn't sure how she could handle the pain of watching Chloe blabber about Chicago. Or how she had become bubblier than ever after that tour.
Theo entered the conference room, his presence going unnoticed by Beca who was still in her own thoughts. He sat across where Beca is seated, the brunette still hadn't notice him. Theo took a deep sigh as he cleared his throat, attempting to catch Beca's attention.
Which was successful, the petite woman was startled at first but relaxed seconds after.
"What were you thinking, Beca?" Theo asked. Beca nipped her lips, before shaking her head.
"So, did he agree?" Beca asked back, changing the subject. Theo leaned back, his fingers tapping the glass table.
"Yeah, I still don't understand why you wanted to put that song in your next album." Theo answered, his eyes met with Beca who looked away.
Within a couple of months after going to LA, Beca had released her first album which was a huge success and it already helped her create a name in the music industry. Of course, all the girls were so proud and happy for her. Her first release was followed by a couple of tours, concerts along with DJ Khaled and she had already been invited to some shows.
To make the story shorter, Beca had finally got it right.
And as what Chloe would say, Beca deserves it. The spotlight is finally hers.
And she hadn't let her family down. Except that she's somehow 'giving up' on Chloe. Not giving up where she would stay out of the redhead's life. Beca would have to give up since Chicago seemed to be doing a good job at making Chloe happy.
As long as Beca doesn't want to be that someone who gives up easily, what can she do?
"It'll be the first and last. Just give me this one." Beca retorted vaguely, scratching the tip of her nose. The guy just looked at her as if he's trying to examine her features, but Beca feigned a smile, quickly diverting her eyes on anywhere else but Theo.
Beca just wanted to get it off her chest, all the pent-up emotions that she could not now dare to speak. She could not tell it directly, so she at least wanted to let it out even through a song.
The wait on the plane wasn't the only thing that annoys Beca, the presence of Theo as well. Apparently, the guy insisted on going with her back in Atlanta, for another Bellas' reunion.
Well, not really. It has been a year since the USO Tour, and that also meant that it has been a year since Stacie had given birth to Bella Conrad. So, all the bellas would be coming to celebrate Bella's first birthday party.
And Theo wouldn't let her go alone with the reasons of her being a 'star' now. Not that Theo is taking full responsibility of Beca but, yeah, you could say that. The guy had been following her everywhere to the point where they were once mistaken of being a couple in which Beca had strongly denied.
She just had to, since the Bellas were all questioning her at that time.
In other words, Theo is also taking the job of being Beca's manager, not just a typical music executive.
Beca took a deep sigh as her eyes wandered around the airport, taking in the sight that she hadn't seen for awhile. Theo stood beside her, carrying their luggage. Their attention was quickly caught when they heard Fat Amy shout their names, holding a banner with their names written on it, the blonde was also waving at them.
The petite woman scrunched up her face when she noticed that Chloe wasn't around. Because if she'd be honest, she was expecting to see Chloe waiting for her arrival.
Despite being a millionaire, Fat Amy still chose to stay with the apartment they got after graduation. So Beca was wondering as to why the Australian blonde was fetching them alone. She knows for sure that the rest of the bellas were all in Stacie's place now. Because Beca was the last to arrive due to her full packed schedule.
As soon as the two had approached the blonde, Amy threw a side glance at Theo who smiled at her. Beca looked at her best friend, and it's as if there's a conversation going on between the two of them.
"They're all waiting for us there." Amy muttered, leading the way to the parking lot.
Beca walked up to match Amy's pace, leaving Theo behind. The Aussie turned her head to make sure that the guy wouldn't hear what she was about to say, before turning back to Beca.
"Seriously, Beca, is he your body guard or what?" Amy asked, her voice was lowered down.
The brunette twitched her nose, before responding; "I know. He insisted, but he promised he wouldn't be around all the time, since it's a bellas reunion." Beca explained.
"Well, I could hire him as my body guard if he wants. You know, I could pay his whole year salary." Amy retorted, causing Beca to sigh as she tucked some strands of her hair behind her ear.
Fat Amy led them to a van she bought months ago so that the bellas, when possible could go on a road trip together. Maybe they would, now is the perfect timing, right?
"Are all the Bellas already at Stacie's?" Beca asked casually, not wanting to be caught by the blonde that she was actually asking where is Chloe.
Fat Amy glanced at the petite woman, before looking straight ahead.
"You mean, 'where is Chloe'?" Amy corrected her, knowing Beca too well.
The 'attempted' confession gave Amy the confidence to talk about Beca's feelings towards the redhead openly. Even if Beca tries to avoid it.
Noticing the silence of Beca, Amy took a sigh before placing a hand on the brunette's shoulders. It was enough for Beca to know what that meant. Of course.
"She really wanted to come with me though, but she had this important stuff in her school coming up and Chicago's picking her up right after and will go straight ahead there." Amy explained.
Beca's face sported an annoyed one. One thing that had also happened after that USO Tour was that Chicago was sent home for a couple of months, she was thankful enough that when the army guy was released was also the time that she would have to torture herself more by watching Chloe act like a teenager girl who was struck by love at first sight.
"You could've just tell her, Beca. Also, you should thank me for keeping my mouth shut." Amy added while sticking her car keys out and unlocking the vehicle, earning a groan from Beca.
Beca looked back and saw Theo following them, opening the door as they help him carry their bags inside.
"How long were you staying here, anyways?" Amy asked as she buckled her seatbelt, Beca sitting on the passenger seat beside the driver's seat and Theo, well, on the back together with their luggage.
"Just a week." Beca answered shortly, Amy looked at her before nodding.
It'll sure be a long week.
After dropping Theo to the hotel, nearest to where Stacie's place was, the two best friends headed there, wherein the bellas were all waiting for Beca's arrival. Amy would throw a glance at Beca, noticing the strange behaviour of the brunette. Her legs kept on bouncing, a sign that Amy had learned from Chloe that Beca only does that when she's in deep thought or when she's nervous.
And Beca doesn't show any hints of emotions so often.
"We can find a way to kick Chicago out, you know?" Amy muttered, breaking the silence between them. She felt Beca glare at her before tilting her head back and puffing an air.
"I thought you said only Bellas would be allowed in the party, so no need for that." Beca responded, sounding almost exhausted.
"Well, our party. Not baby Bella's party. Guests are invited." The blonde retorted before pulling onto the drive way. She turned to Beca who took a deep sigh before loudly exhaling.
The brunette shifted her gaze and stared at her best friend for a couple of seconds, her heart beating more than its normal pace at the thought of seeing Chloe again. But that feeling quickly faded away when another thought of seeing Chloe, with Chicago made Beca's chest tighten and she could feel her heart in pain.
"You know Beca, I thought you were really slow at paddling the boat when we came to save the bellas from my father a year ago. But look, you were slower at getting your girl. That she slipped out of your grasp." Amy stated without even thinking about the words that had left out of her mouth.
Beca just rolled her eyes, looking out as she twitches her nose. She knew that Amy had a point though, it wasn't just a pure attack on her. Or was it just one of those times wherein Amy would mock the hell out of her. Because admit it or not, Beca knew that there has got to be some sense in the blonde's words.
"Can't blame the ginger though, the guy is hot." Amy added before unbuckling her seatbelt, ignoring the way that Beca had looked at her before groaning in frustration.
They both notice the gray dodge ram parked in front of them, and Beca could tell who owns that truck. Oddly, she felt like she was already running out of breath and if it wasn't for Amy, Beca would've insisted that she could stay in the same hotel as Theo was.
Amy was pushing Beca at her shoulders to walk faster while the brunette struggles to carry her two luggage, she was mumbling something about Amy not helping her, so they could get in faster when the front door of Stacie's house busted open, there comes out an overly excited Chloe, who rushes out and engaged Beca in a bone crushing hug.
Beca was at first caught off guard, but quickly relaxed in her best friend's arms. She patted Chloe's back, who was whispering at her ears about how she had missed her.
"I missed you too, Chloe." Beca replied sincerely, fighting a huge grin that was about to break on the corner of her lips.
The girls had also come out of the house, and in a span of quick seconds, there was a bellas' group hug going on. Beca did not complain at the scene, knowing how she had also missed these weirdos. Specially Chloe, who has still hasn't let go of her until now.
"Guys, we could talk about how we missed each other later. Let's go inside." The brunette tried, the bellas complied as they detached themselves, including Chloe, Beca quickly missing the warmth of the redhead's body.
The wide smile on Beca's face was quickly turned into a frown when she saw Chicago approaching them. Amy had once again thrown a side glance at the petite woman, slightly nudging her. Beca shifted her head slightly, not wanting to return a fake smile at the guy.
"Welcome home, Beca." Chicago greeted enthusiastically.
Even though it was clear at how nice and supportive Chicago is to Beca, the brunette could not help the pang of jealousy in her chest every time she sees the man. Beca knew that it was wrong of her, she does not really hate the guy though, well, if anything, Theo is more annoying than Chicago. But maybe it's the fact that Chicago has the woman that Beca had been wishing to have. Maybe it's because Chicago is in a place where Beca wanted to be the most.
And it's with Chloe.
Aubrey noticed the growing atmosphere, glancing quickly between Amy and Beca before clearing her throat, suggesting that they should all head back inside the house.
Beca's attention was immediately diverted at the adorable baby that was in Stacie's arms. The brunette quickly approached them, sporting an adorable face as she used her 'baby voice' to talk to Bella.
"Awe, aren't you a cutie?" Beca said with such a delighted tone as she softly pokes the baby's cheek. Bella giggled as a response, gazing at the new face in front of her.
Chloe smiled to herself as she watched at how rare yet adorable the moment is. She had rarely seen Beca interacts with babies before. She could count on her fingers how many times she had seen the brunette act the way she was acting right now in those years that they had lived together.
"Oh, Beca?" Chloe called as she slowly walks towards them. Beca turned and looked at the redhead, a small smile on her face.
"You and I would have to share a room, there wasn't enough. That's fine with you, right?" Chloe asked, noticing the smirk on Stacie's face as she turned on her feet, mumbling her exit to Beca who only nodded.
The brunette then turned back and saw Chloe was now closer. Beca pursed her lips before showing a tight-lipped smirk and nodding at the redhead. The thought of sharing a room again with Chloe sends Beca to a million jolts of electricity running down her spine.
"Where is Chicago staying?" Beca asked, attempting to hide her excitement. She's not really interested nor caring about the guy, she just wanted to ask if she would have to interact with him for the rest of their stay.
"Oh, he's driving back tomorrow night after the party. And will come back the next, next day." Chloe answered with a broad smile on her face.
Beca nodded, avoiding to let Chloe notice the way her face scrunched up. There was something in the way that Beca's heart tightens when she thought of how bright Chloe talks when it's about the guy.
"Becs?" Chloe called as she waves in front of the brunette who seemed to be in a deep daze. She smiled when Beca shook her head, snapping herself out of her own trance.
"Sorry, what were you saying?" Beca asked, her face a bit flushed. She might or might not have been zoning out for a moment to miss what the redhead says after mentioning Chicago.
The redhead shook her head with a soft smile and an adoring look in her eyes, her arms met Beca's as she brushes her thumbs on the skin. Before Beca could revel at the touch, they heard Aubrey calling them from the kitchen. Chloe looked back at Beca who only nodded and smiled at her, before walking towards their girls.
One thing that Beca had learned after meeting the girls and well, leaving with Chloe and Amy was how to interact with people. It wasn't really that hard to have a little and few conversations with Chicago as what Beca had thought. Maybe it's also why Chloe had fallen for him, he has this vibes of getting easy to talk to.
Beca secretly reminisces those times when she and Chloe was alone, she remembered how the two of them could comfortably talk almost about everything, except for those unsaid feelings, there are days or nights where they would fall asleep just talking about anything.
"So, Beca… are we allowed to get a sneak peek of your next album?" Emily asked, excitement and curiosity laced in her voice.
Everyone fell silent as they all turned to the petite brunette who was sitting on the bar stool of the counter. Across her sat Chloe with Chicago beside her. The brunette looked away when she sensed Chicago moving his arms and putting them around Chloe's shoulders.
"Uh, I'm not so sure about that." Beca answered her voice sounding a little low.
Aubrey raised an eyebrow at the sudden change in Beca's demeanor. She was sure that Beca was happily talking earlier before Emily had dropped the question.
"Well, we could ask Theo to let us hear it. At least just one song, Becs." Chloe chimed in, her eyes hoping to meet Beca's. But the brunette only gave her a quick glance before turning back to Emily.
"Yeah, that'd be cool, I guess." Beca nodded.
"Oh, you could sing for us tomorrow!" Stacie suggested, everyone excitedly squealed as they all agreed to the new idea.
Beca twitched her nose as she quickly steals a glance from Chloe's direction.
"Well, if Beca doesn't want to, I can do it. For free." Amy chimed in, sporting her ever so confidence once again.
"That'd be great too, but I wasn't there when Beca sang to you guys." Stacie pointed out with Bella in her arms. The petite brunette looked at her before gazing at the toddler in her arms.
"I'd ask Theo if I could use one song from my upcoming album." Beca stated with a small smile, earning a series of cheers and 'yes' from the girls.
Later that day, they all gathered at Stacie's backyard, helping one another to set up the place as tomorrow would be the first birthday celebration of Bella. They all took time to watch Bella so that they could progress with designing and preparing everything that would be needed for tomorrow.
And Beca's heart was beating wildly each time Chloe would come to her, or talk to her. Except for those incidents where her eyes would dart at the very exact moments that Chloe was with Chicago, it didn't also help when it was the two of them who volunteered to watch Bella and the girls somehow finds them 'cute'.
Beca really thought at how Chloe is happy… with him. She really wanted to cling unto the thought that Amy had given her, that Chloe was just using him to make her jealous. If ever, it was hella effective and second… what are the odds that Amy was actually right?
All these thoughts clouded Beca's mind that she wasn't aware of the sharp tool she was holding. She growled in pain when she had clumsily struck the tool on the palm of her hand. She winced as she saw blood slowly coming out of her hand that it immediately caught the other girl's attention.
They all, especially Chloe, rushed towards the brunette.
"What happened, Becs?" Chloe asked with her brows furrowed as she grabbed Beca's hand to inspect it.
Beca bit the bottom of her lip as she schools her pained feature. Aubrey gave the brunette a look which she ignored. She could only guess what that look meant.
She had been trying but in Amy or in Aubrey's eyes, she was still that obvious.
"Let's go inside, I have a first aid kit there." Stacie uttered as she led them inside.
"It's just a small cut, Chloe. Calm down." Beca stated nonchalantly as she watches the redhead's face filled with concern and worry. Her small smile was turned into a frown when Aubrey accidentally gripped on her wound tight.
"Aww, careful Aubrey. Are you treating me or making it worst?" Beca hissed, receiving a glare from the blonde.
"Small cut, huh." Aubrey whispered before turning back to covering Beca's cleaned and treated wound with gauze.
Beca raised an eyebrow, followed by her infamous smirk as she looked up to Chloe who was standing behind Aubrey. She noticed how Chloe's mouth open as if she is about to say something when Aubrey cut her off.
"Alright, it's done. You're good." Aubrey said with a smile on her face. She's pretty proud of the job she had done, something she had learned from running the Lodge of Fallen Leaves.
The blonde stood up and looked at Beca and Chloe back and forth before puffing an air. She turned on her heel and smiled at the redhead.
"I'll leave you two for now." The blonde softly said, her arms reaching out to Chloe. The redhead nodded with a soft smile, Aubrey glanced at Beca for a moment before going straight through the door, leaving the two of them alone in the room that they are going to share.
"You seemed distracted Becs." Chloe said in a soft tone, as she took a step forward, taking a sit beside the brunette.
Beca tilted her head, finding Chloe's baby blue orbs staring back at her. She flashed her a small smile before shaking her head. They were silent for a few seconds, with Beca simply staring at her wounded hand and Chloe just looking at the door where Aubrey had left.
The room was filled with silence, their shallow breathings was heard every once in a while. And Beca wonders if Chloe was also able to hear her heart beating ever so loudly. She felt Chloe shifted in her seat and before Beca knew it, she felt the redhead's hand wrapped on her wrist. She twisted and saw Chloe now laying on the bed.
Chloe smiled at Beca as she tapped the space beside her, inviting her in for a cuddle. One thing that Chloe surely missed while Beca was away. And despite Beca not admitting how she loves it when they cuddle, Chloe knew that Beca really loves hugs.
A wide grin spread across Beca's face as she shuffled and lay beside Chloe, whose arms quickly finds their way on Beca's waist, pulling her closer as they snuggle comfortably.
"Rest, I know you're tired and jetlagged." Chloe whispered, her eyes closed and her lips creasing up in a smile when she felt Beca nuzzles closer on the crook of her neck.
She felt this familiar feeling when she felt Beca's warm breath hits the skin of her neck.
Whilst Beca could not send herself to sleep as she enjoys watching Chloe take a nap. It was undeniably adorable at how Chloe looked so peaceful and like an angel even when she's asleep. Beca had lost track of the time, she was too busy watching the girl beside her that Beca had forgotten how much time had passed already.
It was by then when she heard a knock, her face scrunched up when she heard who it was.
Begrudgingly, Beca detached herself from Chloe's hold, careful not to wake up the older woman who seemed to be in a deep slumber. But the moment Beca distanced herself from Chloe, the redhead stirred and slowly opened her eyes.
When their eyes met, an automatic smile was planted on Chloe's lips, in which Beca returned. Their heads both tilted when they heard another knock.
"I'll get it." Chloe said as she stretched out her arms with a yawn. Beca just admired at how perfect Chloe was. And Chicago is one lucky man.
Very lucky, for that matter.
Chloe opened the door, and Beca's chest tighten once again at how it looked like the remaining sleep on Chloe's body had washed away upon seeing Chicago.
"Dinner's ready." Chicago said, sporting is sickeningly sweet smile at his girlfriend before looking across her shoulders and meeting Beca's gaze.
"Oh, sorry. We fell asleep." Chloe answered, before turning her body to look at Beca who was still sitting on the edge of the bed.
"No worries. We're having barbeque at the backyard, come down and eat when you guys are ready." Chicago retorted, his soft smile never leaving his face. Chloe nodded as she ushered some words at the man about freshening up and going after them.
Chicago nodded before heading downstairs. Chloe has this smile again as she turned back to Beca who was frowning.
"I forgot to ask about how things are going between you and him." Beca feigned interest, she didn't really want to ask but she felt like she wasn't being a 'true' friend if she didn't.
Chloe's smile grew even wider at the question.
"Oh, we're doing fine. Great, he's still this sweet guy and gentleman. I mean, that makes him cuter." Chloe began rambling as she headed to the small bathroom in their room to wash up her face.
A bittersweet smile was plastered on Beca's lips, thankful that the redhead could not see her.
"That's good." Beca mumbled as she started fidgeting with her own fingers.
"Yeah, he's really great, Becs." Chloe answered from where she is, sticking her head out showcasing Beca that smile that had both gotten Beca's and Chicago's heart.
Specially Beca.
"I'm really happy for you, Chlo. I'm glad you found your match." Beca said half heartedly, covering up with a smile.
She was well aware of the lie that had just spilled from her mouth. It is given that she wanted the redhead to be happy but… can't she be the one who will make her?
Chloe walked towards the brunette and grabbed her hands in hers. She looked at the brunette, her eyes shining brightly as she beamed at her. They stared for maybe a few seconds, but it is enough for Beca to be lost in those bright blue eyes.
"I hope you'll find yours, too, Becs. You're great and amazing. I'm sure that someone would be so lucky to have you." Chloe said with much admiration that if Beca hadn't known any better, she might have misunderstood what the redhead said.
Beca couldn't find the words for a moment, she stares back at Chloe, unsure what her eyes was telling Chloe. But Beca couldn't shake off the voice inside her head that says that, that someone is Chloe. Only Chloe.
"Thanks." Beca muttered before looking away but she didn't take her hands back. She enjoyed how warm and soft Chloe's hands were. She felt even more jealous knowing that Chicago has the rights to hold Chloe's hands every time he wills.
"I'm hungry. Let's go and join them." Beca added, avoiding Chloe's eyes or she would totally lose herself and she has this urge to kiss the redhead.
Chloe smiled at the brunette as they both stood up and headed out.
The entire night almost got Beca lose her sanity. For once, she felt like she had been in Aubrey's shoe for the first time. She felt like puking every time Chloe and Chicago would be this sickeningly sweet in front of them, or in front of her. It wasn't just plain jealousy that Beca has, it's a mix of that and this excruciating pain in her chest.
It's that, and the fact that Beca had to act as if it does not affect her at all. She had lost count of how many times she had to feign a smile every single damn time that her eyes would meet Chloe's gaze. If it wasn't for the other girls and baby Bella, Beca wasn't so sure of how long she could stand being in the same place where her heart kept on getting shattered.
However, despite the torture she had earlier that night, Beca couldn't help but feel like she had won at least for once against Chicago since it is her that is currently laying beside Chloe right now.
Not to mention that Chloe had let her be the 'bigger spoon' this time when they cuddle.
So, Beca has this wide smile on her face the entire time. She feels anxious thinking that Chloe is able to hear her heart beating wildly as if it would jump out of it's rib cage. Beca felt Chloe stir, she smiled when the redhead snuggled into her more. She couldn't help but run her fingers through Chloe's hair, inhaling the sweet scent of the redhead.
As much as Beca wanted to savour the moment, her mind kept on reminding her that the woman isn't hers. Nor ever will be. It is that thought that made Beca's eyes watery, she smiled at herself foolishly because she really looked pathetic in this situation. Because she's the best friend.
The emotions she had schooled earlier didn't help. She silently sniffs, her grip on Chloe's waist tightens, pulling the older woman impossibly closer to her. It was then when Beca had stared at Chloe who was sleeping peacefully, the brunette gazed at her as if it was to memorize every little feature of her face.
Beca might or might not have realized that she was leaning in, she stopped when she was an inch away from Chloe's face. Her eyes went down to Chloe's lips, and at that moment, Beca had an internal war going on inside her head, battling as to whether she should go for it and then start letting go of all these feelings she had for her the next morning or should she just let things be.
The answer didn't need to be stated when Beca screwed her eyes shut, leaning forward, closing the remaining distance as her lips almost brushing against Chloe's. Beca knew she might or might not regret this but maybe it is the rush of emotions running through her that urge her to do so.
Just this once. Beca thought to herself, as she didn't fight any of her conscience for a moment, pressing her lips just on the corner of Chloe's lips. She stayed there for maybe a few more seconds before leaning away, wiping a tear that had escaped her eyes.
Little did she know, that action sparked a not so little raging war inside Chloe's head.
