Disclaimer; I do not own Glee. Just this particular story.
Enjoy =)
"Alright. Everybody listen up." Mr Schue said trying to get the glee clubs attention. "I know that a lot of you have been dealing with negative feelings. We lost half our members after graduation last year and some of you have difficult things going on at home. So this weeks assignment is..." Will paused to write the assignment on the white board. "Feelings!" He turned to face the group he calls family. "I want you all to spend this week singing songs that make you feel deeply. Songs that tell us about how think and feel inside.
Finally. Blaine thought to himself. A chance to show how crap I really feel inside. Maybe even to let out the dark secret I hold inside.
"Now I know it's not an easy assignment but, who would like to start things off this afternoon?" Mr Schue asked excitedly.
Blaine eagerly raised his hand. "Mr Schue, I would love to go first." He said politely.
"Then it's settled. Blaine will go first and I will see you all this afternoon." Schue concluded dismissing the glee club.
The second they were dismissed Blaine darted out of the classroom heading straight for his locker. He looked into the mirror stuck on the inside of his locker door checking that his bow tie was straight. He looked up at his photo of Kurt and smiled. He missed him so much and he really needed him, but Kurt was in New York. Where he was born to be.
"Growing your hair out I see." A voice commented from behind his locker door. Blaine closed his locker to see that the voice belonged to Sam, his best friend.
"I just can't be bothered with getting it cut any more." Blaine replied sighing.
Sam gave his friend a concerned look. "You have seemed pretty depressed lately. Is everything okay?"
"Yeah. I just really miss Kurt. That's all." Blaine half lied. He did miss Kurt, but there was something else bothering him that he really didn't want to address right now.
"Okay so why did you freeze me out all summer? You didn't answer one of calls or texts."
"Don't flatter yourself." Blaine began in a defeated tone. "I pushed everyone away. Even Kurt. The thought of not seeing him every day just made me want to be alone." He finished and began walking to his first class.
Sam followed but grabbed Blaine by the shoulders and looked him in the eye. "Blaine with me as your best friend you won't ever be alone. He then put his arm around his sad friend and walked with him down the hall. "Now what song are you going to sing this afternoon in glee club?"
"I don't know ye-"
"Fish lips your new boyfriend faggot." A jock taunted shoving Blaine into a locker.
Angered at watching Blaine get abused Sam stepped in. "Why don't you learn how to speak retard."
Reacting, the jock walked up to Sam. He was so close Sam could feel his breath. "What did you call me?" He whispered threateningly.
"So you're deaf as well. I said that you... are... a... retard." Sam spat in his face earning himself a blow to the stomach. The jock then fled before a teacher could catch him.
Sam heaved at the pain while Blaine tried to help him up. "You didn't have to do that Sam. It's easier not to bother fighting back."
"No way!" Sam snapped shaking off the pain. "He was being a dick and you don't deserve that."
"But Sam I do. I do deserve it. I'm a bad boyfriend and friend, and if you are around me any longer you're going to get hurt even more." Blaine cried and ran off, leaving behind a very confused and worried Sam.
Blaine didn't stop running until he was in his bedroom. Feeling frustrated he punched and screamed into his pillow with tears pouring down his face. After about twenty minutes he had finally calmed down and just starred at his reflection in the mirror on his vanity table.
"If Mr Schue wants me to let out how I feel inside, then that is exactly what I'm going to do." He said to himself stepping into the shower.
Blaine checked his phone after getting dried off and wasn't surprised to see a dozen missed calls from Sam and a couple texts. He was surprised though to see a few missed calls from Kurt and a text. Sam must have called him. He thought to himself while reading his texts.
Blaine what is wrong with you? Please pick up your phone I'm really worried. You better not be doing anything stupid like drinking or taking drugs or some shit. – Sam.
Please man. You're my friend and I care about you. What happened in the hall wasn't your fault. Just text me. Let me know you're okay. – Sam.
Sam told me about what happened. Are you okay? It wasn't your fault, baby. And you are not a bad person. I miss you so much.
Love you xx – Kurt.
Not wanting to worry his two favourite people in the world Blaine texted them back.
Sam;
I'm fine I just went home to shower to blow off some steam. You're a great friend Sam. Thanks. –Blaine.
Kurt;
I know it wasn't my fault. I'm fine, I just got caught up in the moment. I miss you so much too.
Love you too xxx – Blaine.
"Now that is done, time for the new Blaine." He thought out loud.
"Alright guys glad to see you all back." Mr Schue said welcoming everyone. "Where is Blaine?" He asked looking for around the room for the bow tied boy.
"There was an incident in the hall earlier and he ran off." Sam explained still worried.
Schue returned Sam's worried look but contined so as not to upset the rest of the group. "Okay. Well in Blaine's absence-"
"I'm right here." An annoyed, hooded voice interrupted from the back of the room. The owner of the voice stood up and walked over to the mic at the the front of the choir room.
"Blaine?" Mr Schue asked finding it difficult to recognise his student.
Blaine dropped his hood. He stood there in front of his friends with his longish hair straightened and styled with a long heavy side fringe that covered his left eye, which like his other eye wore dark eye liner. Instead of a sweater and bow tie, Blaine was wearing dark blue skinny jeans and a band t-shirt.
"You wanted us to express how we feel." Blaine began to his teacher. He then turned to his peers. "This is how I feel and this song should explain exactly what that feeling is."
He then nodded to the band and began singing.
Should I use my heart or my head?
I wish that I could just replay the thoughts of things I never said,
Should I use my heart or my head?
I wish that I could just turn back the time or start over again,
But if we're laying it on the line this time,
I better say this now,
You make me feel low, don't make me feel low,
Cause I've tried so hard to convince myself,
It's okay that I feel this way,
You make me feel low, don't make me feel low,
If I can't have you I'd be by myself,
Cause you know I need you so,
Don't make me, don't make me
Feel low
So tell me why did it take, twenty-six years to figure out how to love,
Just to throw it all away?
Maybe if you'd been a little bit smarter,
Maybe if you tried hard enough,
I wouldn't question why I shouldn't stay,
You expect me to come back around,
You better show me that you've changed,
You make me feel low, don't make me feel low,
Cause I've tried so hard to convince myself,
It's okay that I feel this way,
You make me feel low, don't make me feel low,
If I can't have you I'd be by myself,
Cause you know I need you so,
Don't make me, don't make me,
Don't make me walk out the door, don't you throw it away,
Don't make me, don't make me,
Cause I'm leaving for good, and I'm not coming back again,
You make me feel low, don't make me feel low,
Cause I've tried so hard to convince myself,
It's okay that I feel this way,
You make me feel low, don't make me feel low,
If I can't have you I'd be by myself,
Cause you know I need you so,
You know I need you so.
When Blaine had finished everyone starred at him, not knowing how to respond. Mr Schue clapped awkwardly and the rest of the group unsure followed.
"I know the song and my new look are very different but it's just something I needed to do for myself." Blaine explained before putting his hood back up and walking out to go home.
If Sam wasn't worried about his best friend before, he really was had to figure out a way to get Blaine to tell him what's wrong. He ran after Blaine and caught up with him just as he left the school building. "Blaine, wait up." Sam called.
Rolling his eyes Blaine stopped to face the blonde. "What is it Sam?" He asked.
"What... why... What is wrong Blaine? And don't tell all this is just because you miss Kurt because I know there is something you're not telling me. Something happened to you over the summer and I want to know what." Sam demanded.
"Fine. Something did happen over the summer." Blaine confessed. "It was something that was really bad, but I'm not ready to talk about it yet."
"Okay. Just... promise me something. Promise me you're not gonna kill yourself or anything." Sam asked tenderly.
It took all Blaine had to look his friend in the eye. "I won't kill myself. That would be stupid." He lied. He couldn't really promise that because he didn't know how things will be, anything could happen.
"Great. Now lets get a pizza or something." Sam asked feeling relieved.
Blaine pushed his fringe back. "Actually can we go to the barbers? This look really isn't me. I still feel kind of shit but that doesn't mean I have to change myself. And... I miss my bow tie."
"Yeah. The fringe and dark colour really doesn't look like you." Sam kindly admitted. "To the barbers." He announced in one of his impression voices.
I know I left out a bridge and chorus with the song, but Glee sometimes does that.
Reviews are always welcome. Thank you for reading.
Until the next chapter ;)
