A/N: This story was originally going to be a continuing side-story for my "Accidents" series. But I felt it would be a bit overwhelming for me to incorporate this as well as coming up with ideas for my comedy series. But nonetheless, here is my first KFP romance one shot!
DISCLAIMER: FOR THE LOVE OF MOUNTAIN DEW, HAMBURGER HELPER, AND OREOS; I DO NOT OWN KUNG FU PANDA!
Not a Date
By Spartan-Guy 88
"You two love-birds have a great time now…!" Mantis mocked before getting a well deserved tail whip from Viper.
"For the last time you little pest, we're not going on a date!" Viper replied, "Monkey and I are just going out for dinner. That's it."
Of course, all three of them could easily remember how it got to that situation in the first place…
It was late in the morning at the Jade Palace; and every resident of the Jade Palace were up and moving about in their day. The palace servants were busy maintaining the palace, messenger Zeng was currently delivering a letter to an Imperial Navy captain who was a close friend of Master Shifu in his younger days as a student under Grand Master Oogway. The aged red-panda himself was meditating under the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom; and all six of his students, the Furious Five and the Dragon Warrior, were keeping themselves occupied on the training grounds.
More specifically, Tigress and Crane were in the courtyard sparring with each other; while Po, Viper, Mantis, and Monkey were all inside the hall practicing on the various obstacles laid throughout the interior. At the moment, Viper was perfecting her agility on the Field of Fiery Death; Monkey was working on his airborne acrobatics on the Talon Rings; Mantis was fighting his way through the Wooden Crocodile Warriors; and as for Po…
He took several deep, meditative breaths as he eyed the Spinning Serpents and the Seven Swinging Clubs of Instant Oblivion. He's been practicing on these for weeks now, and he has yet to get past them at least one time without any injuries. He was feeling a little nervous, but he then thought to himself: If he managed to defeat Tai Lung , the first Master of the Thousand Scrolls (something the Five and Shifu had failed on even with years of training and fighting hordes of barbarians and bandits), with only a WEEK'S worth of Kung Fu training ; then surely he could gain victory over a set of obstacles designed for training purposes. As long as he believed in himself as the Dragon Warrior, he could accomplish anything that was given to him. The panda made that his mantra ever since discovering the secret behind the Dragon Scroll, and has not once forgotten it.
Besides, he thought to himself, I don't wanna make Mantis mad by having him patch me up for the eighteenth night in a row. Can't risk him tweaking my facial nerve…and stopping my heart…again.
Finally, after taking one last deep breath, Po steeled himself and leapt onto the Spinning Serpents.
Master Mantis meanwhile had just finished his run on the Wooden Warriors when he turned to the noise coming from behind him. There, he saw Po going on another run on the Spinning Serpents and the Swinging Clubs. The insect sighed and thought that this wasn't going to end well once again; and that he would again have to use up more of his medical supplies on the poor panda. Yet after a few more moments, Po was still balancing on top of the rotating logs and dodging the clubs that would come swinging at him. He even managed to destroy one- no, two of them that came at him that weren't showing the spiked side of them.
"No way…" Mantis whispered in shock at what he was witnessing right before his eyes. All the commotion made both Viper and Monkey to stop what they were doing and stand next to the insect watching the spectacle before them.
Po was about three-quarters of the way through, muttering, "Stay on target… stay on target…" when another non-spiked side of a club came at him. This time around though, the Dragon Warrior smacked it so that it went forward and hit the club ahead of it, sending a hail-storm of broken wood everywhere. And at long last, Po made one last leap and he was out of the Spinning Serpents… and aside from feeling very fatigued and sweating a storm, he didn't have a single scratch on him.
For several breathless moments, no one moved a muscle. Everyone, even Po, just stood there astounded. Did he REALLY just do that? Who was this panda and what has he done with Po? Then, the three members of the Five rushed over to the bear and feverously congratulated him on what he just accomplished.
Mantis offered his congrats, as well as his thanks for not making him use up any more of his bandages and healing salves. Viper was absolutely ecstatic, immediately praising the bear for finally achieving a long time goal of his. Monkey patted him on the back and even asked if he (Po) could give him (Monkey) some tips some time. Now that was really saying something on how far the Dragon Warrior had come!
But Po just stood there with an absolutely stunned look on his features. After a couple more seconds, a wickedly crazy grin appeared on his mouth. He then pumped both of his fists in the air, raised his head to look at the ceiling and shouted at the top of his lungs:
"I'VE GOT BLISTERS ON MY FINGERS!!"
As sudden as his outburst was, all seemed very quiet once more in the hall. Looking back down at the three masters, Po saw that they were all giving him very, very, shocked and confused looks. Turning his head to the door, he saw that his loud shout had drawn the attention of both Crane and Tigress; who were both peering into the training hall and right at the bear. Lowering his paws, he grabbed them nervously and smiled sheepishly at his brothers and sisters in arms.
"Uh… sorry. I just always wanted to say something like that. So… yeah…" Po said, now very embarrassed.
Tigress just shook her head slowly and went back outside with the avian master to continue their sparring match. The other three masters' faces had returned to their not high-strung selves. The simian was the first to speak.
"Where did you hear that anyway?" He asked, with both Viper and Mantis just as curious.
Po twiddled his thumbs and answered, "I uh… heard it in a dream. There was some beetle on the ground in front of me; he shouted that he had blisters on his… well not fingers but feet. Then he suddenly had a change of mood and walked off singing how 'it's been a hard days night.' Yeah, I know, it made no sense at all."
After a couple more seconds of awkward silence, all four students of the Jade Palace decided that it was simply best to move on with their day and not have the panda's bizarre dream plague their minds. As they all started to clear the debris from the destroyed clubs, an interesting idea touched the mind of Monkey.
He called out to the serpent, "Hey Viper, what's your best time on the Field of Fiery Death?"
The reptilian master thought about it for several moments, then replied, "I would have to say… fifteen seconds. Why?"
"Because I was thinking we should have a little wager…" Monkey explained cryptically.
Po felt a little nervous and said, "Uhm… Monkey… I don't think Master Shifu would like us betting money on training…"
"What?" Monkey spoke in a surprised tone, "No! Not like that! I mean something small, like a free dinner at Mr. Ping's."
Viper leaned in closer, becoming more and more curious as to what Monkey had in mind. "What exactly are you proposing here…?"
"Here's the deal, if you can beat that record time, I'll buy you dinner at Mr. Ping's. But if you don't then you have to buy me dinner." Monkey explained. Viper pondered over this for a few more moments, yet before she could give her answer, Mantis started chuckling suggestively.
When the other three glanced at the insect, all he could say was: "Don't any of you get it? Either way, Monkey just asked Viper out on a date."
The effect was instantaneous; Po's eyes widened, Monkey started to blush, and Viper gave a death-glare at Mantis.
Essentially what had happened was that Viper (feeling motivated by the possibility of a free dinner from Mr. Ping, paid for in full by her primate companion) had took up Monkey's challenged and managed to beat her record by three seconds, Mantis taunted the serpent and primate some more (earning himself more glares and tail-whips from Viper), Po told his father that he was going to have some very special guests later that night, and he also told the serpent and primate that Mr. Ping agreed to stay open, and Shifu (much to everyone's relief) had given both Viper and Monkey permission to go down to the village to have dinner.
Of course, everyone at the palace was grateful for Shifu's increased admiration for his students since Po defeated Tai Lung and brought the peace their master desperately needed. For before the arrival of the giant panda, his students were rarely allowed to go into the village for leisure purposes. Shifu had tried desperately to avoid the mistake he made with the snow leopard who was like a son to him; in which he put too much pride in.
Yet Shifu would later admit that he still should have been a better master to his students, and that he is in fact proud of all of them for their contributions to the whole of China and beyond.
And with that, later on in the evening, both Masters Viper and Monkey made their way down the Jade Mountain and into the village. Upon reaching Mr. Ping's restaurant, they weren't at all surprised to see the goose laboring at the stove in the kitchen.
"Why hello there Masters Viper and Monkey!" the noodle cooking goose called from his kitchen, "Take a seat anywhere you like. I'll be with you two in a few seconds!"
The two Masters took a seat at one of the empty tables and they both found that neither one of them had anything to say to each other. Not that they didn't want to talk to each other, but more that they had both felt rather awkward now. Reflecting on the first thing Mantis said after Monkey challenged Viper, it's no wonder they were both engaged in awkward silence.
The silence was broken however when the father of the Dragon Warrior came over to their table with a tray that had two cups filled with water. "I am so sorry I couldn't get over here any sooner;" he said as he placed the two cups on the table, "But I am absolutely neck deep in dishes tonight! You two should have seen the place today, it was so packed in here! Then again that teriyaki rice special is a very popular one. So, what can I get for you two tonight?"
By the time he was finished with his rant, both Monkey and Viper stared at Mr. Ping with disbelief. How could someone like him be such a chatterbox when it came to cooking? Monkey privately mused that it could be a mystery not even the late Grand Master Oogway could solve.
Clearing her throat, Viper calmly replied, "Don't worry about it, you're just doing your job after all. And I believe we'll both just have some of your well known Secret Ingredient Soup."
Monkey nodded in agreement; and Mr. Ping went off to the kitchen to prepare their dinner with a "It'll be right at your tables faster than you can say 'my son is a great kung fu warrior.'"
Turning back to face each other, Viper and Monkey both knew that they seriously wanted to avoid more awkward and uncomfortable silence. After taking a sip from his cup of water, Monkey finally broke the ice. "So uh… what do you want to talk about while we wait?"
"Oh I don't know…" the tattooed snake replied, "…why do you like almond cookies so much? You seem very protective of them." She of course knew that many of the residents of the Jade Palace would occasionally snag several of his snacks from his jar, especially Po and Mantis. As well as myself… every once and a while. But it's just one… or two… or a baker's dozen…
Monkey, after a few short moments, explained; "Well, every time my aunt would come to visit me and my sister when we were kids, she would always bring with her a whole basket filled with them. My sister liked them of course, but me on the other hand…" he paused significantly as a smirk appeared on his face, "It felt like my aunt brought a piece of Heaven with her every time she visited our home. So one day I asked her to show me how to make them for whenever she wasn't around."
Viper had leaned in closer, becoming more and more interested in her companion's childhood as he spoke. "Really? Well, it certainly sounds like you loved your aunt very much."
Monkey nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I really did…" he trailed off trying to think of something else, "Here's a question I've been eager to ask you: When and why did you get that tattoo on your back?"
Viper blushed and gave a small embarrassed laugh. She did suppose it was rather ironic that someone like her who is so interested in reading imported romance novels, had also decided so long ago to get herself "inked up" as how some of the local youth like to say.
"Well… I got this back when I lived with my parents, a couple years before I left for the Jade Palace. I had just turned fourteen when some of my friends and I had a sleep-over at my best friend's house. Her name was Wu Song." She paused for a couple of seconds, with a look of what looked like slight annoyance on Viper's features. Monkey couldn't help but feel a bit curious as to why this was so. But he decided not to bring it up, at leas for now; since she was getting back into the origins of her tattoo.
"And you know how teenage girls get when they have slumber parties. Your sister had to have been to some, right?" Monkey nodded. "So anyway, we were all in the middle of a heated game of truth-or-dare. To make a long explanation short: we all gave away either our most deeply kept secrets and in some cases our dignity. But it all came to a head when Wu Song asked me those all to famous words for truth-or-dare. And… I went with the dare, so…"
Monkey nodded again in understanding, "I can see where this is going…"
"You're right on the money there." Viper confirmed; "She dared me to go into the village, right at that very moment, and get myself a tattoo. Naturally, I refused at first; but when Song and the others threatened to tell this cute boy who had just moved into the village- he was a cobra by the way- that I had a huge crush on him… well I really had no choice."
"So we went snuck out of the house and headed into the village. We found the tattoo parlor… and the rest was history. Needless to say though, my mother was not happy about it. But my father on the other hand seemed to like it. He said it made me look 'distinguished.'"
Before Monkey knew it, he blurted out quietly, "Not to mention more attractive…" Realizing what he said he gasped and slapped both of his hands over his mouth; praying that Viper didn't fully understand what he just muttered.
Viper was quite startled and curious to what her golden-furred friend just said. "…Excuse me? What did you just say?"
To Monkey's relief, those two questions didn't seem to be sarcastic, but more of actual curiosity. "Oh uh, nothing I was just uh…" Think damnit! You gotta get her off of this. Wait- what about…?
"W-what I said was that uh… me and Po have been working on some unique jokes together that I think you'd enjoy." He waited for her response for a couple of moments.
Viper pondered over this for those moments. Okay, there is no way that is what he just muttered, but he wants to talk about these "jokes" of his so… "You don't say. What kind of jokes are these?"
Monkey sighed in relief, and he pulled out a small piece of paper from his pocket. "These jokes are, how should I put it, a bit more touchy than what you'd expect." He noticed that Viper seemed ready to protest that it had to have been Mantis' perverted sense of humor latching onto these jokes; and he quickly reassured her; "But don't worry, none of these are from Mantis at all."
Viper was relieved that she wouldn't have to hear any Mantis created joke that annoyed her to no end. Yet what Monkey told her next was almost just as shocking.
"Po and I call them…" he gulped, "Tai Lung Jokes."
For several long, uncomfortable moments, neither master said a word to each other. Viper just stared at her primate companion in a mix of disbelief and puzzlement. How could he and the
Dragon Warrior possibly come up with any joke about the snow leopard that had broken out of Chorh-Gom prison, defeated and humiliated the Five at the Thread of Hope, and nearly killed Master Shifu… all because of a scroll he wasn't destined to have?
Viper started to speak, "Uh… Monkey, while I'm sure you and Po must have put some thought into these… 'jokes'… I'm not really sure if-"
She was cut off as Monkey started to unfold the sheet of paper. "I know it's a bit morbid; but maybe if you heard just one of these, maybe you'll see why me and Po think these are funny."
Viper pondered over his statement for five seconds, then nodded and replied, "Alright, go ahead…"
Monkey cleared his throat, took another drink of water from his cup, and read the first joke on his sheet:
"They say that Tai Lung is so tough, that he doesn't have a chin under the fur on his face… there is only another fist."
The reaction was instantaneous, as Monkey looked up after reading the first joke, he saw that as Viper was taking a drink from her cup of water, she spitted it back out and started to laugh. So much that she had to set her cup down just so she could slam the tip of her tail onto the table as she continued to laugh at what Monkey just said.
"A-are you-are you serious?!" She managed to sputter out, "You seriously made that up on your own?!" She laughed some more, "Because that was just classic!"
Is this a blessing from the gods? Does she seriously love these jokes? Monkey couldn't help but smile as he said, "If you thought that was good…" He read the next one on his list:
"Tai Lung doesn't dodge throwing knives; the throwing knives dodge him."
Viper once again burst into laughter. She just couldn't help herself. All the time she knew Monkey up to that point, she thought that the only sense of humor he had was all influenced by that of a certain insect kung fu master. But this… she realized that Monkey really did have a both polite and outstanding sense of humor. This fact was made even more true when he read several more jokes on his sheet.
"Tai Lung mastered his first scroll at the age of sixteen… seconds."
"Tai Lung can swim on land."
"Tai Lung doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants."
"Tai Lung is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head."
"Tai Lung once ate an entire bowl of sleeping herbs; they made him blink."
By the time Monkey finished the last syllable, he found that he couldn't go on any further. Not only was Viper laughing so hard at this point that she kept saying that she "couldn't breathe"; but Monkey found that he was also laughing at his own jokes. Well… not his own jokes, some of these were fabricated by Po after all.
After about thirty more seconds of laughs and giggles, they both managed to calm down enough to talk to each other again. Viper was the first to speak, "My goodness Monkey; those were great! What made you want to write them?"
Monkey replied, "I don't know. I guess I just needed something to make me laugh whenever I think of that fight at the Thread." He sighed as he shook his head; "I still don't understand how he managed to beat all five of us. Considering that we hit him with everything we could muster, and yet he seemed like it meant nothing to him."
Viper couldn't miss the rising annoyance and agitation in his voice as he continued.
"I mean, did you see the way he acted towards Tigress when they were on the bridge before the fighting began? He acted as though we were simply five wannabes! Did he not hear or know who we are and what we have done?! And that nerve strike of his… don't you even get me started on that cheap-as-hell nerve strike! I mean come on already! It was bad enough that he gave us all one helluva beating, but the fact that he had to paralyze and humiliate us was an insult to that wound! And another thing… what?"
He cut off his rant as he noticed that Viper was starting to giggle a little bit. She looked back up at him and asked, "You're just mad that he paralyzed you first. Aren't you?"
Monkey said nothing for several seconds, then deadpanned, "Maybe… a little I mean."
Viper smirked for a moment, then frowned as those memories of that fight were brought back up to the surface of her mind. The look on Monkey's face suggested that he was going through the same thing. After going through several moments of the most uncomfortable silence yet, Viper finally spoke.
"Maybe… maybe we couldn't defeat Tai Lung simply because we were unprepared." Monkey looked up back at her, silently asking for the serpent to elaborate more on her theory.
"I mean, I know we've trained hard for whenever he would break out of prison, and that we've already fought hordes of bandits and other cut-throats; yet I'm starting to think that we were not ready to fight someone who has mastered the Thousand Scrolls. Because as far as I know, he's the first and only one to do so. Not to mention that we had to leave in a rush; after all, Tigress wanted to fight him most of all and she tried to do it alone. And Monkey, you knew as well as Crane, Mantis, and myself that we could never allow that, despite what she says Tai Lung stole from her…"
Monkey pondered at her theory for several long moments, and he found that she was right. Tigress was adopted by Shifu, just like Tai Lung was. The huge difference was that during the snow leopard's time in the Jade Palace, he was raised and treated by Shifu as though he really was his own son. However, after Tai Lung's rampage, and after Shifu brought Tigress from the Bao Gu orphanage to the palace, he was afraid that if he showed the same amount of compassion to his adoptive daughter as he did to his son, there was a probability that she too would lose control of herself.
It was on that note that Tigress felt that Tai Lung had stolen something that was very valuable to her: the love and support she had from Shifu during when he trained her to control her temper and strength back at Bao Gu.
It was also right there that both Viper and Monkey remembered what Shifu told them about his fight with Tai Lung; specifically those ten words that hit him harder than any of the blows his former student dealt onto the red panda.
"ALL I EVER DID, I DID TO MAKE YOU PROUD!"
Tai Lung had thought that Shifu, his father figure, was never proud of the accomplishments he has done before the rampage? Despite both the snake and golden languor agreeing silently that it was such a morbid thought, they each had their own differing opinions on the snow leopard.
Monkey felt as though that even when Shifu apologized for the mistake he made to Tai Lung, that the snow leopard didn't care about the grief Shifu felt about what he had inadvertently turned his son into; only that he wanted the "ultimate power" from the Dragon Scroll. It was another reason he was more than glad that Po arrived in time before Tai Lung could execute Shifu in cold blood. He was also glad that the giant panda had stopped what could have most likely been an even worse rampage than his previous one.
Yet at the same time, he felt that- even though Oogway had prophesized that the Dragon Warrior, with the knowledge of the Dragon Scroll, could defeat Tai Lung- that the Furious Five, the ones who were the most elite fighting force in the whole of China, the ones who have fought countless battles against hundreds -rumor has it that maybe even thousands, but Monkey never really kept an accurate count- of cut-throats; couldn't defeat one man, even though he had mastered every possible style of kung fu there was.
As for Viper, while she did agree with Monkey an many aspects, she strongly felt as though there could have been something done to prevent all of this from happening. And in a way, she sort of knew how Tai Lung felt when it came to pleasing their father. Being the daughter of Grand Master Viper, she certainly had a lot to live up for. She knew that her father loved her, he truly did. But she couldn't help but feel horrible during a good portion of her childhood; considering that she was born fangless, and that they didn't grow in until she was thirteen. Grand Master Viper felt as though her daughter would never be his successor without those natural weapons that he employed during his days as a warrior and defender of the village.
And it was during that time that she wanted to find a way to make him happy, that she could indeed hold her own even without the use of fangs. Of course now her fangs had grown into place, she rarely ever used them. Viper had grown so accustomed to finding alternate methods of defeating her foes, along with the fact that she doesn't believe in killing her enemies. Unless she absolutely has to, and in self-defense of course.
After taking up ribbon-dancing, it did help to mollify Grand Master Viper's grief. But it was during that one fateful night, during the night of the Moon Festival. In which an armored gorilla bandit proved to be more than a match for even the Grand Master's deadly fangs. And it was when she fought that bandit with what she came to call her "deceptive dancing" that she managed to defeat the bandit and save the village. But she did much more than save her village, she had at long last made her father proud of her. To Master Viper, it was one of the most proudest moments of her life.
And she wished there was some way the same kind of result could've happened between Shifu and Tai Lung. But she also remembered that there was still a chance for a reconciliation happening between Shifu and Tigress…
Snapping both members of the Five out of their deep thoughts were the sound of feet coming to their table. Looking up they of course spotted Mr. Ping approaching them with another tray; this one holding two bowls filled with soup.
With a cheery smile, he spoke as he set the bowls down in front of the two masters. "Two hot bowls of my finest Secret Ingredient Soup, right here for your pleasure! When you two are done you can just set the bowls down at the front table." Yet as he turned and went back into the kitchen, he continued with his rant, "Now if you'll excuse me I have much to do. Dishes to wash, vegetables to prepare, silverware to organize…
Just as the goose chef went back into his kitchen, Monkey and Viper had already began to eat the "famed" soup. They were both rather quiet for a while, still reeling in from their respective thoughts about facing their greatest adversary as of yet. They knew that they couldn't afford any more awkward silence than they really needed.
Monkey decided to be the one to once again break the silence; "I couldn't help but notice that you seemed rather agitated when you brought up your old friend Wu Song. Is it okay if I ask why?"
Viper paused for a second, then sighed and responded, "Well… alright I suppose so." She noticed that Monkey looked a little bit guilty about asking her about whatever problem she had with her old friend. She quickly reassured him, "It's nothing you said Monkey it's just… I try not to think about it that much."
"Why's that?" Monkey asked.
After taking one last drink of her water, she started to explain. "About four months after that sleep-over, I did indeed had my eye set on that cobra boy I mentioned. His name was Sayid and he and his family came from Persia. Oh dear goddess of love, he was simply put the cutest boy we had ever seen. One day I told Song that I was going to try to get him to notice me so we could go watch the stars together near the lake."
During that portion of her story, she had a small smile on her face, but it turned into a frown as she continued. "But on that day that I said I would talk to him, I saw Sayid with Song…"
Monkey started to get a good sense of what happened, "Oh no. She didn't…"
"She stole him from me!" Viper exclaimed, "Song was clearly flirting with Sayid. And she even had the nerve to ask him to go watch the stars by that lake! That rotten little… Song was one of my best friends and she knew I was going to ask Sayid out! Then she goes and destroys our friendship by deliberately taking the boy I had a crush on away from me?! Quan Yin in Heaven! I just wanted to beat the hell out of her and tell her off right there!"
By the time she was finished with her rant, she was clearly fuming with anger, and Monkey was staring at her with absolute shock on his features. He knew Viper could get agitated when pushed hard enough. But this…
He felt responsible for making her like this, and he spoke to her as he started to pour the rest of his water into Viper's own cup. "I'm sorry, I wouldn't have brought that up if it would make you that upset."
Viper took several more seconds, drinks of water, and several slurps of her soup to calm her nerves; so she could give him her response. "Oh no, it wasn't your fault at all. I just had to let that out of me. You know?"
Monkey nodded and then said, "And I honestly don't know why she would do something like that to you. And shame on that Sayid guy for not taking the time to get to know you better. I mean, you're the daughter of Grand Master Viper! That itself is such a huge quality of you. By the sounds of it, he clearly didn't hear of that story of you defeating that gorilla bandit by yourself at such a young age. Not to mention that it had to have inspired so many young girls."
He paused to think about what else to say, then continued, "Then again, if you did get hooked up with that boy, you probably wouldn't have had the chance to come to the Jade Palace to be trained by Masters Shifu and Oogway. You wouldn't have become one part of the most elite fighting force in all of China. And not to mention-"
He trailed off as he saw Viper staring unbelievably at him. After coughing discreetly he then said, "Uh… sorry, I tend to rant on and on every now and then."
About a half hour later, they had both finished their bowls of soup, bid farewell to Mr. Ping, and left for the Palace to retire for the night. They made small chatter with each other as they entered the bunk house and had started to pass by the kitchen…
When they were both startled by a loud thump coming from within. Viper and Monkey paused for several seconds, remaining absolutely silent. An even louder thump made them both jump. After agreeing to get to the bottom of this, both Masters entered the kitchen and slowly made their way to the source of the noise: a small wooden container sitting on the table with a large book sitting on top of it. Monkey slowly and steadily took the book off the top, placed his hand over the cover of the container, and pulled it off; revealing none other than…
"Mantis?" Viper asked as she and Monkey spotted the small and green insect inside the container. "What in the world are you doing in there?"
Mantis looked a little groggy, which of course confused his two companions. "Guys, you're back? Thank gods. To make a long story short, Tigress spiked my dinner with ginseng and put me in here."
Monkey shared a confused glance at Viper, then looked back at Mantis, "Uh… why?"
"Well she said," Mantis explained, "that she would do this to me if I make any 'dirty jokes' to her during dinner. I didn't think she'd actually do it but… man, she can be pretty serious with her vows."
You don't even know half of it. Viper thought to herself.
Yet before the simian or reptile could do anything else, Mantis made yet another huge mistake by saying:
"So, how was your date? Was it more exhilarating than either one of you could ever imagine?"
Viper gave Monkey a significant look, and he instantly knew what it meant. He stood aside and allowed her to do what she had always dreamed of doing.
"Oh shit…" Mantis said, "Wait- wait! I didn't mean it that wa-!" Too late, Viper had put the lid back on the container and placed the book back on it. At least Monkey had the decency to carry the container and book with him as they went back over to the dormitories; so he could place them in Mantis' room so that he wouldn't be late to greet Master Shifu in the morning.
After closing the door to his room, Monkey looked back over to Viper and spoke (quietly enough to not disturb the others), "Well, this was an eventful evening. I'll uh, see you in the morning." But as he turned to go to his room he was stopped by his tattooed companion.
"Wait, I just want to say a few things to you first."
Monkey turned back to her, and allowed her to speak.
"I just wanted to say that I had a really good time with you tonight. It was good to go into town and have dinner indeed. But something else happened that I never thought would happen. I saw a completely new side to you that I thought I would never see." Monkey had understandably looked rather puzzled; yet that didn't stop her from speaking her mind.
"I had no clue what a gentleman you are. First off, you have an absolutely great sense of humor. Those jokes you told me were so funny; I don't think I ever laughed so hard in my life. But also you really listened to me back there when I told you about Song and Sayid. And those things you said about me afterward…" A smile appeared on her face as she slid closer to Monkey. "…I really liked that. And I would like to get to know you a bit more soon enough."
Monkey on the other hand was quite nervous now and his face was glowing red. "Yo-you mean as in, m-more than just a friend? Or uh… I mean uh…" He stammered, but was cut off as Viper's tail wrapped around his right hand.
"Face it tiger…" she leaned her head closer to his with half-lidded eyes, "…you just hit the jackpot."
Before Monkey knew how to reply to that statement, Viper closed the gap and pressed her lips against his.
Holy… whaddo I do?! What if Mantis finds out about… this… Despite the golden-furred primate's thoughts, he found himself slowly melting into the kiss as his grasped hand closed around her tail. Oh to hell with what he'll think. During the kiss, Monkey took his free hand and placed it behind Viper's head. After a couple more seconds, Viper broke the kiss and stared at her friend (just a friend?) blushing slightly.
She then turned to her room, opened the door, looked back and said softly, "Good-night… Chen."
Monkey was taken back, he has rarely heard people call him by his birth name, Zhi Chen, in quite some time. Yet he smiled as he turned and walked over the door leading to his room. He turned back and spoke back to her.
"Same to you… Su Ming." As he expected, her smile widened as she heard her birth named be called to her. And on that note, she closed to door to her room, almost at the same time Monkey did to his.
One thing they both had in common that night was that they both had the most peaceful sleep they had in a good long time.
A/N: And there we go! My first KFP romance story! Got several references I'll get out of the way first:
What Po shouted and his dream are of course both references to two songs by the Beatles: Healter Skelter (my personal favorite out of the bunch I like) and their best-selling single Hard Days Night.
Those "Tai Lung Jokes" Monkey wrote are all references to the famous Chuck Norris Jokes. That I just couldn't resist doing.
That bit in the kitchen was simply my piece for the sake of Halloween.
Finally, that line Viper said near the end is of course a reference to Mary Jane Watson's famous line to Peter Parker in the Spiderman Comics.
I must of course thank Kippis05 for inspiring me to write my own MoVi one shot. I also feel that there's simply an over-use of the Crane-Viper pairing in fandom. I'm not saying that it's a bad pairing at all; but come on, Viper could just as easily be paired up with any of the other males in the fandom universe. (Except Shifu, I just don't see that happening.)
Anyway… yeah that's all I have to say, now Read and Review!
