Chapter 1 and 2 updated 8-8-18 😊
I have this theory that some people are drawn to each other because their atoms were near each other when the universe was created and over time the same atoms keep coming together.
Those are my exact feelings for Delphine Cormier.
The last two years have been the most thrilling, fun, scary, beautiful, sappy years of my life, and I owe it all to her.
How, you ask?
How about I start from the beginning?
During medical residency, there wasn't much else to focus on but the patients. Besides taking a quick break to eat. Or sleep. Or shower. It was almost like you lived at the hospital, and every time you went home you were having a short vacation. But, even then, your mind focused on getting back to do rounds as soon as possible. Not like I was complaining; I was doing what I loved. I was helping people in possibly the worst times of their lives. It felt good actually making a difference in the world. It was the most thrilling, productive, most meaningful work I had ever done. Plus, it wasn't like I had anyone else to distract me, right? It was such a thrill. Living in a new town and making my own way. It was a new feeling for me. I was finally beginning my new life as a doctor and as a newly single woman. It was the fresh start I needed. My slate had been wiped clean. Nothing could stop me.
My first few weeks went by quickly. I was getting to know my fellow residents. And it was nice to make friends with people who were as passionate as I was to make a difference. But, as much as I hate to admit it, working in such a competitive environment reminded me of high school. Everyone had their own group they gravitated towards. My particular style of full-on dread locks, tattoos, and dark eye makeup gave everyone the first impression that I would somehow be bad at my job. I did, however, have a knack for being able to diagnose difficult patients within hours. I guess my late-night study sessions and lack of a social life were finally paying off. Within a few days, I had solidified my position as a fellow resident who was just, as they called it, 'quirky'. Apparently, no one had heard of personal style before they met me. Who knew you could wear chunky jewelry, winged eyeliner and still be able to be a successful, professional doctor? It would still make me chuckle every time I was able to prove the nay-sayers wrong.
There were a few people who I clicked with right away, and there were others who I knew I would not like working with. I had a few friends growing up, but no one who wholly shared this passion with me. Scott, a fellow resident, had quickly become my best friend. We clicked right away. He and I both shared a geeky childhood love for doctor who, Pokémon, movies and of course, medicine. We had spent most of our time asking each other for second opinions and making movie quotes no one else ever understood. I loved being able to open up with a co-worker and also make such a wonderful friend so fast. Moving cross-country might have been the best decision I'd made yet.
I knew he was interested in me, and as more than friends. One of the first times we hung out together outside of work, he was so nervous. I knew he was going to ask me out, and when he finally did, sheepishly, through nervous words and embarrassed flushed cheeks, I could tell he hadn't dated much. When I told him I was interested in women only, I could see the letdown look on his face, but he understood, and was still excited to just have a friend who had the same interests in him. It was sad to let him down, but it felt really relieving to have a friend in this new town, someone who knew I was gay. Someone who knew the whole me: the movie buff, the geeky fun-loving side, the democratic, love-is-love side, the helper, the doctor. It wasn't a secret, I was completely open to anyone who asked, why not, it was 2017 after all. But, it was still nice to have a real friend, one who I connected with completely. Making the big move from my hometown of 10,000 people was hard enough. Leaving my parents and sister and her family behind was one of the hardest things I had ever done. But this move and this new career, which I was excelling at, made me quickly remember why I had done it in the first place.
About two months into my residency, during a break, I had noticed someone I had never seen before. Working the hours I had been working, it was almost impossible to see someone I hadn't seen before. I walked into one of the break rooms, noting the usual suspects sitting at the small round table in the center of the room. Most were either reading the paper or flipping through pages in a medical journal. From the corner of my eye, I noted a woman and a man hovering around the coffee maker.
My eyes traveled to them, falling first on one of my least favorite fellow residents. His name was Rory. He was the type of guy who had hit on every single one of the female residents. He had a nice set of muscles and he wasn't bad looking. He had a presence around him that made every single woman hover around him, but I knew him for what he really was. I had met, and dated his type before, before I quickly decided that males weren't entirely my type at all. The woman he was talking with, however, I didn't know.
Suddenly, she looked towards me, towards the opening door. Her eyes landed on mine, and I swear, my heart skipped a beat. My feet felt planted, rooted to the ground. Her amber eyes were nothing I had ever seen before. To say that she was the hottest woman I had laid eyes on in a very long time was an understatement. There was something about her that wasn't just about appearances, right off the bat, though. I had never seen her before, but I had a weird feeling we had met before. She was dressed in the blue scrubs that all of us were, but the way that they fell on her made me gape. Openly. I must have had a shocked, open-mouthed expression on my face. I can't recall if I actually reacted to her presence at all, but I felt like time had stopped for a moment. Her blonde, flowing curls framed her face perfectly, but, her full lips were pursed into a frown. I don't know if I disturbed her conversation with Rory or if she was unhappy with their conversation. Somehow, my feet had taken me to the table in the center of the room without my knowing.
It was quiet in the room, save for the hushed conversation happening around the coffee maker. I walked up to my friend, Scott sitting at the table. He was balls deep in the paper, working feverishly on the daily Sudoku. He acknowledged me, giving a quick nod while still working on the paper with his red pen.
"Scott…" I said, whispering, trying not to look up again at Rory and the blonde. I held onto the table and leaned in as close as I could.
His lips were silently working out his next move. Scott's pen stopped, hovering over the soft paper. "What, Cosima?" He looked up. He noticed my sudden desperation and put the pen down. "What's wrong?"
I opened my mouth but didn't quite know what to say. "I…." My eyes traveled up to the two.
She was still looking down at me, trying to listen to Rory, but also giving her attention to…me?
That gaze made me forget everything I was trying to ask; my mind went completely blank again. Her eyes seemed look me up and down, but maybe it was just my want for them to.
I was snapped from my stupor by Scott lightly shaking my shoulder. "Earth to Cosima…" he muttered.
My eyes darted to him, making him jump. I could feel my cheeks start to flush.
Shit. How long had I been staring at her?
I looked up at her again before speaking. This time, she wasn't looking at me. She was adding cream to her newly filled coffee mug with the biggest grin on her face. I noted that Rory had moved to the fridge, searching for something, so it couldn't be him that she was grinning at, right? She picked up the mug and put it to her lips, trying to stifle a chuckle. Were her cheeks flushed?
I felt my stomach drop at the sight of her reddened cheeks. Even if the rational part of my brain concluded that they probably weren't because of me.
Once again, Scott grabbed my shoulder. "Cos, are you good?" He said, looking a little worried. His eyes traveled towards my stare.
I switched my gaze to him and gave him a look of apology. I could hear a slight chuckle from somewhere in the room, but I knew if I looked up again and she was the one behind it, I might just lose my shit.
"Sorry, sorry." I muttered. I pat his back, reassuring him that I had in fact heard what he was saying. "Dude, never mind, I'll talk to you later…"
Before I knew it, I was back into the hall, closing the break room door as softly as I could. I turned on my heel, ready to retreat to literally anywhere else. My heart was beating so fast I could hear it in my ears; the pulse of it was running through my fingertips. Rounding the corner, I heard a door behind me open and close abruptly, but it was muffled. Everything was muffled.
Jesus.
Okay, Cos, get a hold of yourself. Be rational. Forget about that girl, get back to work.
But it wasn't that easy.
I need to get some air. Something inside of me had shifted. Something I hadn't felt in a really long time. Since my ex. You know when you first meet someone and you know they're going to change your life? I know how crazy that sounds, I am quite aware. But, I knew that there was just something about her. And I was going to find out what.
I walked towards the nearest exit when a hand tapped my shoulder. "Hey."
I must have jumped at the sudden invasion of my personal inner-banter because I felt the hand quickly recoil.
"Scott, I said I was fi-" my words were cut short as I turned around. Scott wasn't the one who stopped me. My eyes found themselves once again on the beautiful blonde for the fourth time today.
