I know I probably shouldn't be starting this with another new fanfic – however, this is stuck in my head ever since I heard this song so I just had to start writing it. The song is Miserable at Best by Mayday Parade. And at the beginning with the name Katie and Ocala that's Meredith and Rose. I also know that there is plenty of fanfictions on here about the story of Derek/Rose/Meredith – and I have written a one shot for it. Now, however, I am writing a Mark/Meredith fic. I love Mer/Der however I think Mark/Meredith have great chemistry. So yeah, this is my Derek/Rose/Meredith and Mark/Meredith fic all rolled into one. It could possibly be Mer/Der depends where the characters want me to take them. I hope you like it. If you don't, well tell me. Thanks. Read and Review. OH and one more thing, from the song lyrics you can probably tell that my fic is going to be from Derek's point of view (it might switch to give you an idea of what is happening with the other characters) – if I can even write that lmao. Okay once again, thanks and read and review please.

Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy. Although, I wish I did. Doesn't every Grey's fan wish this though? Haha.

2:00am.

I have been laying in the darkness of my trailer for a few hours now. I'm supposed to be crying, I know I should be, but no tears are falling from my eyes, I'm not even freaking out, pacing across the small amount of room in my trailer. I haven't had a drink tonight, other than the one single malt scotch I had on the date with Rose. That wore off a few hours ago, especially with the water, coffee, and thinking processes I have had. I was about to close my eyes and try to drift off to sleep, when I heard the beeping from my phone. I reach over to the dresser beside my bed.

I look at my phone as I see that the screen is flashing at me, the annoying sound beeping continuously. I have two reasons to look at the phone tonight, Meredith calling me or the hospital calling me incase my pager goes out. I highly doubt either reasoning, however a part of me is just hoping to see Meredith's name flashing across the screen of my cell phone. As the letters finally start to form words, I sigh heavily. A part of me feels horrible for the sighing, but I can't help it. I wanted Meredith to be calling me, however, instead I see Rose's name flashing on my phone. I don't understand why she would be calling me this early or late however you want to look at it. Why would Rose be calling me, after we just had a date tonight? Is she that desperate? Am I that desperate to take her on a date after I break up with the love of my life? Most likely. Yes I, Derek Shepherd, took Rose on a date. Yes I, Derek Shepherd, asked Rose on a date right after my relationship ended with Meredith. I'm just trying to move on, I want to be happy. I can be happy with Rose. I can. She is beautiful, although with the small smirk she makes she does look like a horse, and I wish her hair was a brighter color, blondish, she is still beautiful. She really is. Sounds like I'm trying to convince myself, doesn't it? I probably am.

During my date with Rose, I was constantly thinking of Meredith. For instance, if Meredith was there with me, she would have been smiling, or wringing her hands together because she was nervous. Meredith and I would have been discussing my house plans instead of the topic Rose and I were talking about. During most of the date Rose was constantly talking about how she was so grateful to be going out on a date with me. How all the nurses were rooting her on, or my least favorite thing of the night she said how all the nurses were proud that Meredith and I broke up because they believed we weren't meant to be. I cringed when she told me that. I don't think she noticed, or maybe she didn't want to confront me about that just yet. After all, I had just ended the thing between Meredith and myself.

I stopped thinking about the date I had that night, and I concentrated on the name on the screen of my phone. I take a deep breath in as I flip my phone open. I place the phone up to my ear, and smile to myself, hoping that the smile on my face although Rose can't see it seems real enough, maybe it would come through in my voice instead of the dread I wanted to actually illustrate.

"Hey Rose." I say softly.

"Hi Derek, I know it's late, however, I needed to talk." Rose said, the joy going through the phone to me. All the joy she had, I wanted to push away I wanted hear dark and twisty characteristics. No Derek, you don't need to have dark and twisty when you can have happy and joyful. You need to be happy. Rose is good for you. She is ready for the commitment you want. I nod to myself.

"Oh its okay, I was still awake." I say, being truthful.

"Oh good, I didn't want to wake you, I just wanted to talk." She said, still beaming with joy.

"What did you need to talk about?" I said, as if what she needed to talk about was honestly that important to me.

"Anything, you wanted to." I was glad that she couldn't see me at that moment, because my eyes went severely large and open. Why would someone you just had a date with, want to call you in the middle of the night to talk about whatever you wanted to. I didn't want to talk about anything, except my love for Meredith. I was pretty sure that Rose did not want to have that discussion. I, also, did not want to have that conversation with her. I wanted to have that conversation with Meredith. However, Meredith would probably never want to have that discussion or any discussion for that matter.

"Hmmmm….are you sure you don't have a topic you want to talk about? It might help me choose one." What am I doing? I ask myself, I don't even want to be having a discussion with the horse looking lady. I sigh, hoping she didn't hear.

"Are you okay?" She asked. Of course I'm not. I just ended my life, well the life I wanted with Meredith. And now you are calling me in the middle of the night to talk about whatever and whoever. No I am not okay. I wanted to say that so badly, however all I could do was mumbled a small 'yep'.

"Okay. Well you seem like you are tired, so I'll let you go, okay?" Rose said, softly and in a scared tone. I felt bad for making her feel this way, maybe I just need to sleep a small amount, and get my mind away from Meredith, Rose, or life in general.

"I'm sorry; I guess I'm just tired." I lied. "I'll talk to you tomorrow right?"

"Of course. Bye Derek."

"Bye Rose."

I close my phone, and place it back on the dresser. Looking back up to the ceiling of my small one room trailer, I place my hand behind my head and close my eyes for a moment before I hear the annoying beeping on my phone telling me that I just received a text message. Maybe it was Rose, telling me goodnight again. I sighed. I closed my eyes once again, and tried to fall back asleep but something told me that I needed to answer the phone. I turn back over to the dresser and look at it. 1 New Message. I open my phone, and click 'ok'. I look at the text message and what I see surprises me. It's not Rose, thank goodness for that.

Derek, I think we need to talk. I mean really talk, about a lot and everything. Meet me at the docks. I'll be waiting. – Meredith.

I am glad that my instinct told me to check my messages because if I didn't I wouldn't have the opportunity to talk to Meredith tonight, when I needed to talk to her. I quickly got off my cold bed and looked around, finding a different pair of jeans on and a simple shirt. I wasn't going to impress Meredith tonight. We needed to talk; we didn't need anything in the way. This was going to be simple, revealing, and probably painful and there would only be words in use. I placed my dark denim jeans on with a simple grey shirt and grey pullover, and pulling on my pair of Nike shoes. As I walk out the door, I make sure that I am ready for this conversation, asking myself one question.

Was I ready to officially end everything between Meredith and me? I don't think so, but if it made her happy. I will.