AN: Hi M Sec friends! I have MISSED YOU! First I'd like to thank you for the 400+ reviews for Love Letters! Those seriously make my day. And I apologize for the delays with that story. I do want to update it...but I am really struggling with the next chapter, so people with step siblings send me ideas! I hope this one off story helps make up for the lack of updates on Love Letters. In addition to the below, I also have another one shot story in the works taking place in S3.
This story was born from a couple things. 1.) I was hoping taking a break from Love Letters would get me past the issues I'm having with that next chapter. and 2.) this story was inspired by the comments from Elizabeth in Labor of Love & her conversation with Daisy. Please leave reviews :)
And Happy Birthday America (for my fellow Americans)!
The Best Surprise
"Congratulations, Elizabeth. You are just about eight weeks along."
Elizabeth nodded and forced a smile, blinking back tears as the doctor confirmed what she was hoping the four sticks she'd tested earlier that week were wrong about.
"You don't seem very excited." The doctor observed.
"It's just a bit unexpected." Elizabeth said, sitting up on the table after the exam. "You see, I haven't missed a pill in years…and my husband is currently in Iraq, so…."
"I see." The doctor said sympathetically, and patted her hand.
That evening, Elizabeth laid in bed wide awake, dressed in one of Henry's tee shirts and her sleep shorts willing sleep to relieve her exhausted body. Deep in thought, her hand gently roamed her flat belly, attempting to connect with the baby growing inside her. A baby she only knew as a grainy dot on an ultrasound photo and from the unrelenting nausea she'd felt the last couple weeks. One she and Henry had made when he'd been home for a short leave 8 weeks ago, that was the only part that made her smile.
A sigh left her lips as she rolled on her side, closing her eyes. A few stray tears trickled down her cheeks as she nestled into Henry's pillow. She wished he was here to share in this moment with her. It was supposed to be a happy one they would share together in about two years – when they had already decided it would be time for a baby. Being alone, wondering if her husband would be home in four weeks from his Iraq tour alive or in a box was not how she envisioned discovering out she was pregnant.
It scared her beyond belief that her child could grow up without a father. After having lost her own parents young, becoming a parent herself and ensuring her and her husband would be around to see their children grow up was a major fear she carried. She was supposed to have two more years to get past this fear. A deep sadness also lived in her heart – one that knew her baby would never meet their grandparents, that her parents would never meet their grandchild, and that she couldn't call her mom and tell her she was pregnant.
But at the same time, she and Henry had made a baby and she wanted so desperately to tell him, and be excited about it because she knew he would be – even if it wasn't how or when they planned. With him gone, it did comfort her in some way that he was with her now; literally half of his DNA inside her, and that if something did happen to him – she'd always have a part of him with her from their child.
"Hello?" Elizabeth answered her office phone that Friday.
"Hi babe." Henry's smooth voice came over the phone.
Elizabeth immediately felt tears stream down her cheeks, thanks hormones, "Henry!" she sighed, swallowing them down. She was always happy when Henry called. Hearing his voice was always better than a letter that was a week old or more by the time the mail had delivered it. "What a nice surprise." It was always a surprise, since he couldn't call on a regular schedule.
"I do my best." He teased
As Henry rattled on about his week, Elizabeth's mind was a miles away. She wanted to tell him. "Henry, there's something I need to tell you." She whispered, trying to smile.
"What's that?" he asked.
The words were on the tip of her tongue. But she couldn't do it all of a sudden. She was suddenly plagued with worry, worry as in she didn't want him to worry about her and their baby. She wanted him to focus on making it home during these next few weeks. "Babe?" he asked again after she was silent.
Her hand on her belly she said. "I love you." For some reason she couldn't say it. She had wanted to. But she didn't want him to worry even more about her.
"That's what you wanted to tell me?" Henry smiled. She could imagine his sexy smile over the phone.
"Yea…can't a girl tell her husband she loves him?" she tried to lighten her voice.
"I love you too babe." He answered. After he said that he changed the subject. "Are you going out with the girls tonight?"
"Um…no, it's been a really stressful week. I think I'm just going to go to bed early." It wasn't a lie. But she couldn't tell him why she was so exhausted.
"I'm sorry you had a bad week. Get some rest okay my love."
"Yea, I will." She said quietly.
"Babe, are you sure everything is okay?" Henry asked, concerned. He could sense his wife's moods – even over the phone across the globe.
Elizabeth again tried to lighten her voice. "Yea. I just miss you. That's all." Again, not a lie, just not thr whole truth.
"I miss you too. But I'll be home in three more weeks."
"I know. We're almost there, so please stay safe." She practically begged.
"I will. I have to go now babe. But I love you."
"I love you too."
"Bess." Conrad said, knocking on her open door.
Elizabeth jumped, quickly wiping her tears and facing her boss. "Conrad. Hi. What can I do for you?
Conrad eyed her for a moment.
"Sir?" she inquired when he was silent.
"Everything okay, Bess?"
"Fine, sir. That was just Henry on the phone."
"He's scheduled to be home soon, right?" Conrad said taking a seat in the chair across from her desk.
"Few more weeks. Can't come fast enough."
Conrad nodded. "I just came by to discuss some of the intel you found on…."
A few days later Elizabeth had to run out of a meeting due to nausea.
Soon after, Conrad was again knocking on her open door. "Bess are you sure you're okay?"
Elizabeth jumped when she saw him. "Fine, sir. Just the flu."
"Just the flu?"
"Yes. I even went to the doctor about it. Just the flu."
Conrad took a seat across from her at the desk and raised his eyebrows. The man was the CIA director for a reason. But Conrad was also her friend, and felt a bit responsible to look after her while Henry was away.
Elizabeth took a deep breath and rose to close her office door, making her way back to Conrad. "Okay…it's more than the flu. I'm pregnant." It felt weird to say it out loud.
"Congratulations, Bess." Conrad said sincerely.
"Thank you." She replied automatically.
"You don't seem excited."
Elizabeth looked away and blinked back tears. "It's just been hard. Henry and I….we weren't planning on a baby so soon. And with him away, and the unrelenting nausea….I just have been having a hard time."
Conrad stood and opened his arms to her and she willingly fell into them, desperately needing a hug from anyone who offered. "It will be okay, Bess." He assured her as he rubbed her back until her tears stopped.
"I know…I just…."
"How far along are you?" he asked
"About 9 weeks or so." She said.
"And you haven't told Henry?"
"No. I know I should. I just don't want him to worry. I need him to come back safe."
Conrad nodded. "Some advice?"
"Absolutely." Elizabeth welcomed any insight.
"Lydia and I just did this not too long ago. Now, I can't tell you when to tell Henry – that's up to you. I realize you don't feel like it now, but you are just starting the most incredible journey you will ever go on. And in a couple weeks, when Henry is home and this nausea starts to go away and you'll be able to share it together. Take it from someone who wasn't sure about kids, and had one rather unexpectedly."
Elizabeth smiled. She was right, she sure didn't feel it now. But she appreciated Conrad giving her something to look forward too.
"Hang in there, Bess." Conrad said as he left.
Dear Henry,
I know you are due home soon, but there's something you need to know. Letter writing is not the ideal way to deliver such news; however, you deserve to know as soon as possible. Even though that would have meant me telling you when you called last week, but I couldn't seem to find the words. I hope you can forgive me for not springing it onto you over the phone. Not that writing you a letter is any less out of the blue. But, you see I haven't been able to tell anyone; (except Conrad, because he figured it out and made me tell him) and I so desperately want to. It made me feel better to tell him, to tell someone, out loud. So I am wondering if I write it down if it will help even more. So here it goes….
I'm pregnant.
Surprising. I know. I was certainly shocked to say the least. I still am I suppose. It doesn't feel real. To be honest it just feels like the flu. I know that's probably not what you expected me to tell you. And I hope you are not mad, since it's much sooner than we planned. The doctor said she thinks the antibiotics I had from that bronchitis interfered with my pills (they should put that on the label!). It took a few days to sink in, and I am excited, somewhere deep down – but mostly terrified right now (for multiple reason) and filled with sadness.
Sadness you ask? Sadness because you weren't here when I found out. That's not your fault and I don't blame you, but a girl can wish right? Sadness because without you I can't tell anyone until you know. If my parents were here I would have probably told them, but I can't. I'm sad I won't ever get to introduce them to their grandchild, sad that I won't have my mom to help me through this experience, sad our baby won't have a full 4 grandparents. I know we've discussed this before – but it is hitting me hard now that it's actually happening.
After thinking about not telling my mom, I immediately thought of calling your mom. I know she would be excited and would have been able to be there for me while you are finishing up (and insistent upon it), and she's wonderful and I want her to be – but it's not the same. You understand that.
I suppose the only person I could really tell was Will, but at this point, I wanted you to be the first to know. And you of course aren't here (again, not your fault). This brings in the afraid part. I am terrified to think of something happening so close to the end. I just need you home safe for not just me….but for our baby. I can't even think about our baby growing up without you. I'm also selfishly scared of being pregnant. I thought I'd have more time to prepare myself for this.
So I hope you can understand why I didn't tell you on the phone that day. I just, I need you home. And I don't want to worrying extra about me, or to be lost in thought or daydreaming about this and have you make a bad decision that could get you hurt. And I'm sorry for rambling on. The hormones are something else.
I love you. We love you.
-E
Elizabeth wasn't sure if it was pregnancy nausea or anxiety as she paced the hallway in their small townhome, checking her watch. Henry was due home any second. While she needed him to be home, she was terrified of his reaction to her news. Right now her emotions were all over and she didn't trust herself from just blurting it out the second he came in the door. She also couldn't be sure that when she saw him she would clam up. Whatever was going to happen, she just needed to get it out in the open so she and her husband could discuss it.
She heard a car engine outside and peeked through the curtains. Henry was home. He looked so handsome getting out of the car in his uniform and just the sight of him made her heart swell. Rushing to the door to meet him, she jumped into his arms the second he stepped in the door. His bag fell to the floor with a thud as he accepted her weight and kissed her like he meant it.
"Welcome home." She said tearfully as the kiss broke.
Henry smiled down at her and wiped a few tears with his thumbs. "Why the tears babe?"
"I just am really glad you are finally home."
Henry grinned at her and kissed her again. "I missed you too, babe. I'm very happy to be home. Plus you are a fantastic welcoming committee."
When the second kiss broke she fingered a small cut on his cheek that had her worried all of a sudden. "You're okay right? No injuries?"
"I'm fine babe. Just a few cuts and bruises. Promise."
She nodded. "And this is it, no more tours right?"
"Right. I'm already enrolled to finish my doctorate this fall at UVA."
"Okay." She nodded.
After one more kiss they pulled apart and Henry walked with her down the hallway, his arm tightly around her. She looked up to him as they pulled apart. "I went grocery shopping, so there's plenty of food if you are hungry." She said, thinking he might be hungry after his long travel home.
"Is everything okay babe?" Henry asked. He'd sensed something off about her since their phone call a few weeks ago.
"Yea. It's fine. I'm just really glad you are home." She assured him.
"Okay." Henry accepted her answer for the time being. "Actually, before we eat – I could really use a long hot shower. Care to join me?"
Elizabeth blushed.
"You can check to see I'm injury free for yourself." He teased.
Laughing, she said. "Okay, I'll be right up."
Biting her lip she watched him go upstairs. She did want to join him in the shower, but he knew he would immediately notice her breasts had grown. Her belly was still flat, but he'd notice her breasts and she didn't envision telling him in the shower.
She grabbed his bag for him and lugged it upstairs, dropping it beside the bed and moved to the bathroom.
She opened up the shower curtain and smiled at her hot, tanned husband lathering his hair. He turned immediately when he sensed her presence and grinned. "Care to join me?" he winked.
"Just enjoying the view." She said coyly. She really did want nothing more than to jump in the shower and jump her husband. But her stomach was starting to feel queasy and she tried to focus on the view rather than her nausea. Unable to swallow it down, her hand went to her belly as she quickly backed away toward the toilet, retching.
As Henry rinsed the shampoo from his hair, he heard her retching. "Babe!" he said, peeking around the curtain. "You okay?"
She waved her hand. "I'm good. Finish your shower." She managed, before another spell took her over.
"You sure?" he asked, concerned.
She lifted her head as she flushed the toilet and sat against the wall. "Yea."
"Okay." Henry reluctantly agreed, before feeling a gush of cold water from when she flushed the toilet. He kept his surprise quiet, not wanting to upset her and quickly finished his shower.
By the time he was done, Elizabeth was brushing her teeth and again tried to reassure him she was okay as he came to feel her forehead. Satisfied she wasn't overheated, he left her to finish cleaning up.
Exiting the bathroom, she saw Henry quickly changing into fresh sweat pants and a tee shirt. She walked into the bedroom and sat on the bed.
"Henry, about that…..there's something I need to tell you." She said, referring to her episode in the bathroom as she sat beside him on the bed.
"Are you sick babe?" Henry's voice was laced with concern, enveloping her in is arms as he sat beside her on the bed.
"No." she shook her head.
"But you just…."
"I know."
"And you've been acting a little off since I called you a while back. You know you can tell me anything right?"
"Yes. But I'm not sick Henry." She paused to grip his hand, running her fingers through his as she took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."
Her eyes closed as she said it. When it was silent she got nervous and opened her eyes timidly after a moment. Henry's face was lit up. "Are you serious?" he smiled.
She was slightly relieved to see his smile and let out a shy smile herself. Perhaps the first smile about the pregnancy she'd had. "Yea. Nearly 12 weeks." She breathed.
"Oh my god." Henry smiled, tightening his hold on her and kissed her. "This is the best surprise ever. I love you..so much."
"It is?" she asked, tears suddenly forming in her eyes. "You aren't mad at me?"
He gently wiped the tears from her eyes. "I'm not mad at all. Why on earth would I be mad? We made a baby, Elizabeth."
"Because, I kept it a secret for nearly 2 months…..and because it's so much sooner than when we planned." She sobbed.
"Sweetheart." Henry soothed.
When she was finished crying, he pulled back and wiped her tears. He realized maybe she wasn't as excited as he was and he needed to know why. "Are you not excited about the baby?"
Elizabeth closed her eyes. "I am. I just….it's been really tough these past few months since your last visit."
"That's when…."
"Yea. I was first of all very shocked to find out, since I was on the pill. And I struggled with when to tell you. I wanted to on the phone when you called that one day. I even wrote you a letter that I never mailed….I was afraid you'd be mad that I didn't tell you right away. Afraid you'd think it was too early in our marriage for this. Plus….obviously, I've been really sick. I can hardly keep any food down. And I keep thinking about how I can't tell my mom. So.." Elizabeth trailed on, finding the letter from the nightstand and letting Henry read it.
"Babe." Henry sympathized, hugging her close again. "I'm sorry you had to go through that without me. But I'm here now. And we're in this together."
Elizabeth pulled back and kissed him. "I love you."
"I love you too." He said, and moved his hand to her belly, and she flinched.
When they broke apart, his hand continued to rub her stomach and grinned like a fool. "Babe….there's a baby in there."
"Yea." She laughed a bit, covering his hand with hers. After a minute she rolled to her side of the bed and pulled a couple prints from the nightstand. "Here, I almost forgot….these are the first ultrasound pictures."
Henry took the pictures from her hand and marveled at him. "When is the next appointment?"
"Next week. The doctor says we can hear the heartbeat next time."
"That's incredible. I can't wait to hear it." Henry couldn't stop smiling. His smile was contagious and Elizabeth was suddenly smiling about their baby too.
Some 6 months later
Elizabeth couldn't get enough of her new daughter. She was just a few hours old.
Henry sat on the bed beside his wife and daughter, gazing down in awe. He'd gotten to hold Stevie first, but now that Elizabeth was settled, she finally got to spend some in-interrupted time snuggling her their new baby, and Henry could watch all day.
It was quiet and occasionally they couple shared tired glances when their daughter moved or looked up at them for a brief moment.
After brushing a kiss to Stevie's forehead and running her fingers down her small back, Elizabeth looked at her husband. "Henry….we're a family." She whispered, tears glimmering in her eyes.
Henry nodded. "We are."
"It's amazing, isn't it?" she asked.
"It is. We did good, huh? Or rather you did good." He told her.
"You helped." Elizabeth winked. "I couldn't have done it without you."
Henry laughed quietly and kissed her, wiping a stray hair from her face. "I love you."
"I love you too." She whispered, suddenly choked up again as she remembered Conrad's words to her about the most incredible journey. She'd never told Henry about that conversation and decided now was the time. "You know….when I first found out I was pregnant, I was so sick at work one day that Conrad figured it out. We had a nice talk and he told me that having a baby is the most incredible journey you will have in life. And now I realize he was right."
"It is pretty incredible." Henry agreed, kissing her again, amazed that their daughter was resting on his wife's chest.
"After having lost my family so young…" Elizabeth added, squeezing Stevie a little harder. "Having one again, of my own….it's something I never dreamed would be possible for me, until you came along. And now I have a family again Henry. Thank you for giving that to me."
FIN
AN2: I thought it might be nice for Conrad to have the same moment with Elizabeth that she did with Daisy. I think they have a special bond...and I hope we get a bit more of their background one of these days in the show :) Also, I just took some liberties with Stevie's birth since she's so much older than the other kids and Elizabeth's comments in Labor of Love made me think that Stevie came along a bit unexpectedly.
