Author's Disclaimer:

The song "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" was written by Randy Brooks- I'm just borrowing the tune for my amusement and hopefully, the amusement of others. Same goes for Bioware's characters… *grin*

A Mass Effect Christmas Jingle

Tali was working diligently on an old probe that had been recovered from the planet surface of Metgos. While hacking through the ancient device's various security codes and firewalls, she made the time go quicker by humming a catchy earth-tune to herself. In human chronology, it was December 24th and most of the humans on the Normandy SR-1 were celebrating in the mess, so the engineering room was inordinately empty.

Curious about the human holiday, Tali had spent the last two days on the extranet, researching and downloading seasonal music. One song in particular caught her fancy- so much so that she added her own words to the playful jingle. As she continued her work, her humming turned into singing…

Saren got run over by the Mako
runnin' from Urdnot Wrex on Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as payback,
But as for me and Garrus, we believe.

He'd been preachin' his new moto.
How the geth now had his back.
But we really were not listening,
cuz we'd drank too much eggnog then hit the sack.

When we found him Christmas mornin',
at the scene of the attack,
He had scuff marks on his forehead,
And implicatin' tire tracks on his back.

Saren got run over by the Mako
runnin' from Urdnot Wrex on Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as payback,
But as for me and Garrus, we believe.

Now our eyes are all on Sovereign.
It's a scary sight to see.
If you've ever seen it sober,
then you'll slam back a few more and scream "why me?"

It's not Christmas without Saren.
All the crew is now relieved.
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we head to open space or to the beach?

(
To the beach!)

Saren got run over by the Mako
runnin' from Urdnot Wrex on Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as payback,
But as for me and Garrus, we believe.

Now the council is in session.
And the question has been made:
Since there is no more of Saren,
Why is it that Shepard is still gettin' paid?

I've warned all my crew and colleagues.
"Better watch out for yourselves."
You should never trust the Council,
cuz they'll use you up then put you on the shelf.

Saren got run over by the Mako
runnin' from Urdnot Wrex on Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as payback,
But as for me and Garrus, we believe.

(Sing it Garrus!)

Saren got run over by the Mako
runnin' from Urdnot Wrex on Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as payback,
But as for me and Garrus, we believe.

When the song ended, Tali finished up her work on the probe and then stood. She put her tools away in their proper bins before heading out the door on her way to the Christmas party. While she walked through the hallway toward the mess, her head started bobbing to the beat of that catchy jingle.

Soon after, her lyrical voice could be heard echoing through the Normandy's corridors.