A/N: WOW Stripped was deleted! I am hated by someone, woo-hoo!
Anyway, I am writing this on no inspiration. I am supposed to be doing my Genetics assignment for school, yet I unfortunately left the information on what is to be in it at school, so boo-hoo to me, I am writing instead.
My, this disclaimer is chipper: I own nothing. Har har, I love that word, chipper.
This warning will attack anyone who comes near it: No, seriously, it will. Swearing and whatever else is in this. For I say it will. Head ache.
Info: Let's picture, if you will, a baby, crying on the doorstep of a house. Snow is falling all around, and no one is going to help the abandoned baby. But then, someone opens the door, looks about, picks the baby up, and carries it inside.
Nothing like that is going to be in this.
Instead, Johnny runs of food in his house. OH, NO! He can't eat dandelions, can he? So he goes to the local market place or whatever the hell, a place that sells food, it doesn't matter. There, he meets Tenna. Or something. I haven't thought that far yet. Anyway, stuff happens, and I have a headache. Shut up, and read.
''scuse me, can you pass that apple?'
'Ah, this one?'
'No, the one on the left.'
'… Um, it's just like the other one, only greener…'
'I want the red one… Thanks.'
'Picky, picky…'
'Well I wouldn't have asked you to pass me it if you hadn't been standing in my way.'
'Oh, attacking the black girl, well shut up!'
'… I'm not racist, I'm only stating the fact that if you hadn't been standing in my way, I wouldn't have asked you to pass the bloody fruit. I would have said the exact same thing to a white person, get it?'
'Well, I don't think anyone could get paler than you…'
'What? I'm not an albino…'
'You could pass for one.'
'… What the fuck? Albinos have white hair and rabbit eyes! Not to mention the fact that my skin is more of an olive color than complete Caucasian. Also, I-'
'What the hell, you're still talking?'
'Oh, God…'
'What?'
'You're just like… them'
'That was a creepy movie… No… Wait… That was They… Not them…'
'… Okay, you lost me.'
'Shut up and eat your apple, Albino.'
'I think I will!'
'… Weirdo…'
'… Oh… Oh fuck, fuckfuckfuck…'
'JOHNNY!'
'DEVI! I… what are you doing here?'
'What? You two know…? Oh, no! You're that freak that tried to stab her, aren't you?'
'SHUT UP'
'Um… It's… Tenna, let's leave…'
'No, Devi, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind…'
'Tenna, please, no, I want to go home now, I've got what I need, please?'
'NO DEVI. God. So, Johnny boy? How dare you come off and try- hey, are you alright?'
'Ch-ch-choking ap-ap-apple…'
'Er…'
'How do you save a choking man?'
'I don't know, I never learnt.'
'… Devi, come on, you gotta know!'
'G-g-get it out, dy-dying…'
'Well, I can't give him that German maneuver can I? I might crush him!'
'YEAH WELL- hey, he's stopped.'
'Johnny?'
'Don't nudge me with your fricken toe, Devi.'
'Well, at least you're alive.'
'No thanks to you.'
'I was going to save you.'
'You so weren't.'
'I think I'll leave now…'
'Good idea, Terra, Terry, whatever the fuck your name is.'
'Tenna.'
'Yeah, that's it.'
'Can I leave with you?'
'Er…'
'I think I should.'
'Um…'
'Tenna, please.'
'What the fook? You have to ask when you want to go? God, what the hell is she, you're mother?'
'No, I just… Well… YOU MADE ME LIKE THIS!'
'And off I go.'
'Oh, come on, Devi, how did I?'
'TENNA COME BACK- oh, God, now I have I walk home. And for your information, Johnny, it's mighty difficult for me to cope with being on my own outside ever since you pulled your knives out on me and started to stalk me.'
'I did no such thing!'
'Johnny, last time I checked you did. You pulled your knives out on me good.'
'Not that, I remember that fine- God, this apple tastes good- but… hang on… mm, apple juice… As I was saying, I didn't go and stalk you.'
'Then why are you here?'
'Because this is where I go when I feel like eating.'
'Shouldn't you pay for that apple first?'
'Probably.'
'Then go do it.'
'Okay, okay…'
'Idiot…'
'There, I paid… I thought you would have left?'
'Yeah, well, I didn't.'
'Hm… Want an apple?'
'I ain't sticking my hand in that bag.'
'Devi, it's plastic. You can see straight through it. All that's in there is apples. Now eat one, they taste fine.'
'Well… okay… Hey, this does taste good… Juicy.'
'I told you so.'
'Now you sound like my father…'
'Ooh…'
'What was that for?'
'Nothing…'
'No, tell me. It sounded…'
'Sounded…?'
'I don't know… Unlike you.'
'Is that a good thing?'
'It can be.'
'At least I'm not off to kill you.'
'True.'
'Hey, Devi…?'
'Yes…?'
'When we used to talk in the bookstore…'
'Yes…?'
'Why…'
'Why…?'
'Why didn't you ever talk about your mother?'
'Um…'
'You don't have to answer, I just always wondered… You spoke about your Dad, your aunts, uncles, and that cousin you said had malaria. Just never your mother.'
'Um… well, why didn't you ever talk about your family?'
'I asked first.'
'Well… um… Look, you tell me first and then I'll tell you why.'
'Ergh, must I?'
'Johnny, you're lucky I'm walking… hey, I just realized we've been walking for ten minutes now…'
'Shocked?'
'Yes. You?'
'Much. I would've expected you to go wild on me and make me wish my head was run over with a UPS truck…'
'Heh… Anyway, Johnny, tell me about your life. Your family.'
'Ergh, promise to tell me yours afterwards?'
'Yes.'
'Okay… Um… Where to start, and don't you dare say the beginning. Okay. I got it. My mum and dad met about a year before I was born… And for some reason- I think they were drunk- they got married and, well, obviously had me. They were so in love, hell, it was almost sickening, and Mum, well, she did the typical housewife shit, you know?'
'Yeah.'
'Well, anyway, I never knew what my father's job was. Neither did my mother, from what I remember. And… Fuck, when I was ten… shit, everything was a blur. Well, let's just say I ended up being a foster kid. Kinda like that girl- what's her name? Astrid, that's it- from White Oleander. I was shipped from crappy house to crappy house like a parcel that nobody wanted. When I was eighteen I got outta there and hauled arse to where I am now.'
'Johnny…'
'Please, don't give me sympathy, okay? I'm a grown man now.'
'I know, I know, it's just… sad.'
'No it isn't, it's life. Now tell me your story.'
'Okay… My mum died giving birth to me, or so my father said.'
'… Um…'
'You better not give me the sympathy.'
'I wasn't about to, no one's ever said that to me before… Well, not in such an… off-handish manner.'
'Well, like you said, that's life, shit happens. My mother just lost a lot of blood giving birth to me.'
'Still, even I know everyone should have a mum and dad. The nicest family I was with was a nucleus family.'
'How long were you with them for?'
'A year, I think. I was with them when I was fourteen until just before my sixteenth birthday.'
'Why'd you leave them?'
'Er…'
'Johnny, tell me or I'll kick your ass, and you and I both know I can kick your ass good.'
'Okay, okay, don't get your knickers in a knot. I ended up…'
'Ended up what?'
'Seeing the kids getting close…'
'What?'
'The parents I were with had two kids. And I saw the kids… making babies…'
'What the fuck?!'
'Yeah, that's what I said. Well, the parents didn't want anyone to know, so they rang the caseworker and off I went to another family.'
'Oh, God… Excuse me while I crouch into this bush and vomit my guts up.'
'Devi, get up, I've seen worse, and I know you sure as hell have been scared worse.'
'Okay, okay, let go of my belt.'
'Well you weren't going to get up without any help.'
'Yeah, yeah…'
'Anyway, tell me about how it was like to live with only your Dad.'
'Um… God, I can barely remember. I left when I was seventeen, I remember that. Um…. Oh, yeah, he had a lot of girlfriends, until I was fourteen.'
'Did he… you know, follow those two siblings and…?
'Oh, God, no! No no no!'
'Good.'
'… Why did you ask that?'
'Well most girls are more or less fairly developed by they're fourteen, I thought… You said he stopped having girlfriends…'
'Oh… Oh! He stopped having girlfriends because he was a lard arse and wouldn't get off the couch really.'
'That's good. I would have killed him if he did…'
'Johnny, that was thirteen years ago. I barely even remember my childhood.'
'Yeah, so…?'
'Well… Well, anyway… Living with only my father was okay. But I can't compare it to anything because I don't really remember anything. I just remember wishing I could have a Dead or Alive record but he wouldn't get me one because we didn't have a record player.'
'Dead or Alive? You actually liked them?'
'Yeah, so?'
'I… don't remember what I liked. I think it was David Bowie…'
'Oh, God, that's funny! DAVID BOWIE!'
'Shut up, Devi.'
'HAHAHA DAVID BOWIE OH LORDY LORD'
'Devi, shut up.'
'You like David Bowie, oh, heavens…'
'Devi, please, shut up now… Everyone regrets the eighties.'
'HAHAHA- JOHNNY STOP I WAS ONLY KIDDING'
'I just pushed you over…'
'I thought you were gonna kick my head in.'
'… Um…'
'What…?'
'We're at my house.'
'Oh.'
'I'm guessing you'll go now…?'
'Thanks for the hand up… And… well, yeah… I don't… wanna go inside.'
'Guessed not.'
'Um… I'll… see you 'round? And thanks for the apple, 'twas nice.'
'Not a problem…'
'Um…'
'Yeah…'
'I'll… give you a ring?'
'Sure…'
'Okay… See you Johnny…'
'Bye, Devi…'
'God, that was awkward…'
'OH GOD DAVID BOWIE HAHAHAHA'
'SHUT UP DEVI'
A/N: OMG DAVID BOWIE IS SO COOL
