My Words My Heart

Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade, Tokyo Mew Mew (used for OCs nicknames only) or the OCs here, except for the author of the notebook – she's mine!!

NOTE: this IS NOT a Tokyo Mew Mew crossover. The nicknames for the OCs here are from the anime – the OCs are fans of the anime – but the characters and show has no meaning here.

Chapter 1 – Minto

He never meant to find the notebook. Really.

He found it on the floor by his locker, picking it up on a whim, planning to hand it in to Lost and Found as soon as he found time to.

But that was not the case.

He frowned into his bag, looking for something to occupy himself, to save himself from the boring drone of his Biology teacher.

Tala Ivanov raised an eyebrow at the notebook he had rescued mere minutes beforehand.

The notebook was black, with an evil-looking, female character on the front, the word 'Lilith' written in blood-like letters beside her picture. The brand name 'Scary Fairies' made Tala smirk.

Surely the author would not mind sharing one page of their notebook to its rescuer, to save said rescuer from insanity?

Tala opened it up, frowning at the neat handwriting looped along the lines delicately, almost at once.

To those who may read this notebook. It started. I wish not to put my full name here, and so will call myself Minto – a nickname nowhere near to my real name, just so you know. Also, my friends shall be nicknamed, so please, if there is any reader other than myself, do not look for my true identity. Think of me as Minto, and then, decide for yourself you I truly am.

As I have said before, my name is Minto. The nicknames used here are used between only select few (as in all those nicknamed here) and come from characters in the anime, Tokyo Mew Mew. Yes, I know you may call me crazy, but, really – you have yet to truly meet my friends, Ichigo, Lettuce, Zakuro and Ryou.

I would also like to explain now that although I do not intend for someone to read this, I write to Lilith, who is, quite simply, whoever may read this. The name comes from the character on the front of this notebook, though to be honest I don't really know why I call 'the reader' that…nor do I care, honestly.

Farewell for my first entry. Ichigo has dared me to write at least a page a day. Psh, I'll write a page every so often…if at all. Heh. That'll show her…

Forever yours,

Minto

Tala raised an eyebrow at the page of writing, and turned the page, only to see various doodles and pictures, all in anime. Many were styled after the Lilith character on the front, Tala noticed.

Flicking through a few more pages, Tala started to read the next diary entry, not really concerned that it was the wrong thing to do.

Dear Lilith

I'm in the Library – the Quiet Room, to be specific – and it seems Ichigo is in a quiet mood, whilst drawing more manga; Lettuce is in a scissor-mood, whilst playing with scissors (again); and Zakuro has a headache, whilst fearing Lettuce. How…odd.

I'm just sat here, writing, though. I suppose you want to know a little more about me, huh? Well, how I look is out of the question – what's the point of staying as Minto, in that case? – but I can tell you about my last class: Spanish.

Actually, it was quite funny. I sat next to Tala Ivanov, who is – no offence to him – possibly the worst Spanish-speaker I've ever heard. Even Ichigo beats him, and she can't say 'Senorita' right!

Tala scowled at the notebook, but oddly found himself not really caring that Minto had insulted his Spanish abilities. Normally he would have been offended – even in a case such as this, where he didn't know who had said (or written) that – but he shrugged it off, deciding Minto was too interesting and honest to hold it against her.

But anyway, we didn't do much, really. I actually managed to pull my homework back from Lettuce before Miss saw us – Lettuce needs to do her own homework, at some point. Tala was, for the most part, turned round talking to Kai Hiwatari and Spencer Petrov, his friends. I just got on with my work, though what little of their conversation I did hear was interesting. Tala seems quite nice, under the cold exterior he shows to everyone – me included. Kai and Spencer seem nice as well.

Tala raised an eyebrow: so Minto was trying to analyse him, now? Weird.

But, hey, Ichigo says I'm too trusting, and that they all – Kai especially – need a good kick up the you-know-where. I don't think she's right. I just think she needs a new hobby.

Oh, and Lettuce needs therapy. Stat. Zakuro also needs an aspirin, I think.

And I need to do my English homework before next lesson. Damn.

-Minto-

xoxo

Holding back laughter, Tala glanced at the handwriting, trying to figure out who he had been sat next to in Spanish with handwriting like that.

He had no idea, though: he changed places every Spanish lesson, and rarely took notice of the person next to him, unless it was Kai, Bryan, Ian, Spencer or a pretty girl with a particularly large chest that he could stare at.

Minto wrote with a delicate, loopy style. Her pen switched at all times, yet it seemed she took great care over her writing – Tala had already assumed she was female. And, although he knew Ichigo and Lettuce were female, Zakuro, Minto and Ryou were still either unmentioned or unconfirmed in their gender.

Damn. Minto was already interesting.

Dear Lilith, the diary continued after a few more pages of drawings, I'm in the Library again – Mrs Roberts just came in to tell us off, the old bat. Apparently I'm her star pupil, yet I am a member of the We-Hate-Mrs-Roberts fan club. How ironic.

There are quite a few fan clubs at my school, many of which meet in the Library, to battle other fan clubs – especially those that oppose each other; such as the Kai Hiwatari Fan Club and the Tala Ivanov Fan Club. Really. It amazes me that the two fan clubs dislike each other so much, when the two boys themselves seem to be very good friends. Then again, I do not know them.

I ordered a CD today, though it's probably going to get stolen by Ichigo after three days of me having it. Damn her…I really should steal them back after two days of her having them. That's all the time I need to play them non-stop and memorise all the lyrics.

Ahh, damnit. The bell's gone. And I have art last lesson. Bye, Lilith. Fare thee well.

I listen waaaaaaaaaaaay to much in History class, I know…but hey, my Dad did a degree in it. I have standards to live up to.

Sayonara.

-Minto-

xoxo

Tala turned the page, only to find lyrics of songs, presumably that Minto liked. All of them were rated either four or five stars, and had been copied out with greatest care, it seemed.

A comment had been left beneath each song, when the lyrics were done, usually in a different colour.

Song: All You Wanted ()

Artist: Michelle Branch

-insert lyrics- (Tala didn't read them; he felt it a waste of his time, and scanned through them, trying to see more of Minto within them)

I love this song, Minto had written, in a bright blue gel pen, when I went on the Spanish trip in year eight, I got homesick when I had nothing to do – I played this song and, since I'd played it so damn much at home, I felt safe again, like I was home. Corny, I know, but this notebook is all about the real me – under a false name, ironically.

Tala smirked as he saw the irony as well.

Song: Gomenasai ()

Artist: t.A.T.u

-insert lyrics- (again, Tala didn't read them)

This song is so sweet. I played it to Ichigo and she loved it. (Then again, I played it to Lettuce and she threw scissors at a chair – they bounced off.) If I'm going to be really analysing about it, I could say that it likens to me, in that I'm often apologising, for failing to meet standards, and not being good enough for everyone. I guess that's all I want to be…but when did this turn into self-evaluation space? I gotta get my CD back…

Tala bit back laughter, glancing up in mild surprise as he found that class had ended, and Bryan and Kai were waiting for him.

"Isn't that the notebook you were going to hand in?" Kai asked, eying Tala, smirking. The redhead nodded.

"Yeah…but I got bored. And it's interesting. Read." He demanded, holding out the book.

Bryan and Kai raised their eyebrows in unison as they finished the first few entries, Tala watching them for approval all the while.

"…I see what you mean by interesting." Bryan said at last.

Kai nodded. "So, d'you know who Minto is?" he asked. Tala shook his head. Bryan smirked.

"Want a hand?" he asked.

"Or two?" added Kai.

Tala smirked back at them and nodded. "If you're offering. I'll read some more of it." He said, taking the notebook back.

Dear Lilith

It really should have been a snow day today, but our Head teacher called us into school anyway. I wish we were left at home – I got dropped off here an hour early, and am now sat, shivering in the Library (Quiet Room, again), along with Zakuro, Lettuce, Ryou and a few other poor souls who are abandoned here. I envy Ichigo: she gets the bus, and will end up late today!

It's the same every time we have bad weather (heavy rain, storms, snow - hell, I'd get sent here even in a hurricane!): I end up stuck here early, because Dad has to leave earlier to get to work on time, and so I have to stay in school for another hour, trying to wake up before I get detention for nearly falling asleep in tutorial again. I don't think I can take Mariah's and Ming-Ming's teasing again…

I guess this would be a good time to explain to any remaining reader, still known to me as Lilith, that Ichigo, Lettuce and Zakuro are not in my form – Ryou isn't even in the same year as us! Lettuce is in some of my lessons, but the only lesson I share with Ichigo, Lettuce and Zakuro is Games (PE not included, sadly – I have that with Lettuce and Ichigo, though).

I guess this would also be a good place to remind you, dear Lilith, that what I write here is my full, honest thoughts. I act pretty different in front of others, and I suppose the only people who would be able to recognise who I truly am – even without the false names to help them – are Ichigo, Zakuro and Lettuce (when she's not scaring the rest of us with her love of scissors)! They're the ones I act freely around, which is nice.

But I've gone off the subject again. Then again, it's not like I plan to leave this lying around for someone to pick up and read, thus exposing them to my drabbling core, full of suicidal musings through poem, musical analysis as I write out the lyrics I love, diary entries that have no real meaning, and insane drawings to pass the time and to ease my need to create.

Then again, if anyone's reading this, you must be laughing at me, right now. Hmm, I act as if there's someone there. Argh! I need to get off this subject, before my musing and drabbling start to get to my health…if there's any damage left to be dealt to my mental health, thanks to Lettuce and her love of scissors.

In short, Lettuce…while she is one of my best friends ever…scares me.

What?! No! They can't turn us out! It's cold and snowy and…and…slushing! Yes! You cannot put me out into the evil slushi-ness that has adorned the school! ARGH!

I must go, before the ink freezes in my pen…damnit. I have no pencil nearby, either, and cannot be bothered – quite frankly – to fish one from my pencil case. It's too cold, anyway. I'm going to go to Jubilee Gardens and grumble with some other friends there, who will also be cold.

But just so people know, I love my scarf. It's so warm, black and fuzzy. Hmmm…

Damn the cold to hell!

Did I really just write that? Whatever. Gotta go. About to go outside (a.k.a: about to freeze).

-Minto-

xoxo

Tala laughed at Minto's opinion of the cold – he remembered the should-have-been snow day as well, but had no idea his Minto had been caught in the school so early.

Wait…his Minto?

Tala shook his head and passed the book to Kai and Bryan, who quickly began to read it, smirking at the words she had scribbled down.

Meanwhile, Tala mused thoughtfully on the true identity of Minto – his Minto.

That was one of the last entries in the notebook – Tala had flicked through and found there to be only one other left, before there was an abrupt halt in all activity in the book, presumably when Minto lost it.

But, dear God, Tala was going to go mad if he didn't know who Minto was soon.

Who was the girl that could lay herself plainly on paper, hide herself with a hidden nickname, and still – through all her honesty – leave Tala begging for more, begging to know who she was, to meet her, to meet her friends, to hold her and stop all the suicidal poems she wrote?

He had no idea…still.

Tala had held the notebook for around two weeks, yet was still no nearer to the identities of Minto, Ichigo, Zakuro, Lettuce (all of whom were female, he now knew) or Ryou (the only male of the five).

And there was only one entry left, which would probably hold no further key, as Tala so hoped it to, despite all logic pointing against that.

He'd read it later, he decided.

Taking the book back again, Tala decided to make use of it, and collect information on what he knew of Minto from her notebook.

- She is in my Spanish Class.

- She hangs out at the Library most lunchtimes, with her three female friends, and one male friend.

- She is dropped off at school an hour earlier when there is bad weather in the mornings.

- She is Mrs Roberts' 'top student'.

- She is a member of the We-Hate-Mrs-Roberts fan club.

- Her father has a degree in history, and so she is expected to do well in it

- She knows some Japanese: 'sayonara' at least.

- She went on the Spanish Trip when she was in Y8

- She is a fan of Michelle Branch and t.A.T.u

- She tries to be good enough for everyone and meet all standards, apologising when she doesn't.

- She writes suicidal poems

- She's a good artist (does well in Art class?)

…That was all he had? Tala sighed and shook his head.

The Library seemed to be a safe bet, and if he ended up with some bad weather, he could always look for her there…amongst her friends, Zakuro, Lettuce and Ryou.

Tala sighed again.

He was never going to find Minto, at this rate.