She could tell there was something missing as she stood on the small platform at the front of the boat (it couldn't be called a ship because ships have sails and masts and this boat had neither). Sure, she could see the sea and the waves, feel the stiff breeze and taste the salt on the air but, despite all of that there was, without a doubt, something missing. Something important that made this whole experience not nearly as enjoyable as it should be.

When her parents had told her that they would be going to America for the summer Susan had been delighted. A chance to get away from everything and see somewhere new; to leave behind the funny stories that her siblings told which made her feel so uncomfortable. It was a chance for a new start and she couldn't wait.

As the weeks passed she packed, then repacked her bags, determinedly ignoring the hurt expression on Lucy's face and the disappointment on Peter's as she spent less and less time with them. It was slightly harder to ignore Edmund, though, as the understanding in his eyes almost cut through the walls she had built around her memories and dragged them out of the place where she had hidden them from everyone, including herself. Almost.

Forgetting was so much easier than remembering. It got rid of all the pain.

Those weeks passed, like all the others had and then they were off to America. Their luggage stowed, she and her parents waved goodbye to the rest of their family before stumbling back to their cabin. That is to say, her parents stumbled. She did not. She walked with the natural grace of someone who had spent years upon the sea, accustomed to the movement and not bothered by the debilitating sea sickness that affected most of the people onboard.

Only the people who had sailed many times before were as comfortable as she was, yet she had never on been on a rowing boat before, let alone out to sea. Strange.

Craving solitude she had taken herself up front for a time but even here there was something wrong. A distant feeling told her that the bow should surge up to the sky before crashing down into the blue/green waves, sending spray everywhere. This peaceful chugging along through the slate grey water wasn't right. She shouldn't have been able to hear anything except the flapping of ropes and sails, but an engine cut through what should have been, not exactly quiet, sailing was never quiet, but a sort of peaceful sound. The impression was hard to put into words.

Looking down, she almost fancied she could see a glitter of scales, a face smiling, but then the peculiar shaped wave vanished and the image shattered as a particularly fierce gust of wind tore her hair from it's pins. The curls tumbled down her back, and a little of the wrongness faded away. That, at least, felt right. Barely.

Uneasy she left, strolling without difficulty back to the cabin where her parents were lying after a particularly bad bout of sea sickness, trying to push the feeling away but failing.