I think i'm gonna consider this as a crackfic. It is also a songfic...kinda... well, if you read it, you'll understand. Please review, thanks.

Disclaimer: Do not own Naruto. Song disclaimers at bottom

What Happens When Kaoru Is Bored Beyond Belief

"Hey Naruto," the so-called smart pink haired girl said casually and then turned her attention to the overly attractive, overly emo boy of her dreams, "Sasuke-kun," she said in a sing-song manner swaying back and forth on her heels. Naruto pouted quietly to himself, which was odd, because this was Naruto we were talking about, he was never quiet. Sakura being the smart and observant girl she was didn't notice this however. Like usual, she had her full attention on her dear Sasuke-kun.

"So, Sasuke-kun," she started timidly, "How are you?" she asked, trying to keep the drool at bay.

"Tired of being what you want me to be," he said harshly. "Feeling so faithless; lost under the surface," he continued glaring at the overly happy pink haired girl.

"You're so dreamy when you're all poetic," she exclaimed, wiping away a bit of drool that had escaped the side of her mouth. Naruto nudged Sakura gently. She turned to him with the look a rabid hyena gets when it hasn't eaten for two weeks and is about to land a killing blow. "What do you want?!" she ground out while trying to make the annoying blonde combust. He cleared his throat; blushing various shades of pink and crimson.

"You're everywhere to me," he said suddenly, confusing Sakura. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes before continuing. "When I close my eyes it's you I see. You're everything I know that makes me believe I'm not alone," he finished with a deep sigh and a bright smile. When he opened his eyes however, he saw that she had turned her attention back to his rival.

"So, anyway Sasuke," He was stunned. He had just confessed his feelings for her and she didn't even notice with Sasuke being there. He wouldn't have it! No matter how much he had to degrade himself in front of his emotistical- er egotistical comrade. He grabbed onto Sakura's shoulder and spun her around giving her a seriously sincere stare.

"You know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you," he gave a small shake to emphasis his point. He started over, trying to make it clear to her what he meant. "If I could be your angel, protect you from the pain…" he stared deep into her vivid emerald eyes, sending all the love for her that he possessed- unfortunately for him, she didn't follow. "I'd keep you safe from danger."

He looked up to the sky looking for inspiration, then quickly back at the girl in his arms. "When you walk away I count the steps that you take. Do you see how much I need you right now?" the blonde subtly brought her closer to him, still staring into her eyes. "When you're gone, the peaces of my heart are missing you." At this point he had her close enough so that all he had to do was lean in a little to finally touch those pouty, plump pink lips of hers. "Kiss me beneath the milky twili- ugh." He couldn't finish his statement, Sakura's fist in his gut made it hard to do so.

"You're so gross Naruto!" she screamed, extracting her hand from his stomach and letting him fall to his knees. "My first kiss is for Sasuke-kun and Sasuke-kun only." Then before she turned back to her beloved, she kicked the already crushed blonde boy so that he fell flat.

Naruto gave a painful groan. "Why can't you just love me back?" he asked pitifully, reaching one hand to the girl who once again evaded him- more like pummeled him into the ground and ran the other way, but we'll be nice and stick with 'evaded' instead.

"Isn't it just lovely weather we're having today?!" she exclaimed, trying to engage in small talk. Sasuke merely looked up at the sky with the sharp glare.

"I wish it was raining, 'cuz I hate every beautiful day," he stated simply, not taking his eyes off the clear sky, as if willing them to go away. To this Sakura gave a sharp squeal that not only made Kakashi fall out of the tree he was 'reading' in, but made both Sasuke and Naruto cringe visibly.

"You're so dreamy when you're irritated!" she brought her hands to her mouth and shook her head violently. This made all the guys momentarily think she was having a heart attack. All three gave a sigh for completely different reasons. One did so because he knew that she was okay. Another, because it saved him the trouble of explaining what happened. The last was disappointed that it in fact was just wishful thinking on his part. "It sure has been raining a lot, huh?" she continued randomly.

At this, Naruto sprang into action, running up to her side. "Now that it's raining more than ever- told you we'd still have each other. You can stand under my umbrella. You can stand under my umbr-" without taking her leer off of her Romeo, she back handed Naruto in the face, sending him flying in the other direction.

"Ella, ella, eh, eh, eh." Kakashi couldn't help himself. Sakura didn't seem to notice. Actually, she didn't even realize that Kakashi was there at all; not even when he sighed and cleared his throat rather loudly.

"Welcome to my life," Naruto muttered to Kakashi bitterly. To this Sasuke and Kakashi gawked.

"To be hurt, to feel loved, to be left out in the dark…" Sasuke started, falling to his knees, striking a very dramatic pose on the spot, earning rather loud shrieks from a certain pink haired on-looker. He, of course, didn't get to the second verse. Being glomped by a streaming wave of random fangirls will do that to a guy.

Kakashi merely sighed and shook his head, pulling out his trusty bright orange and oh so stealthy porn book. "Teenagers scare the living shit out of me…" he hummed to himself following the train of fangirls who were now looking for Sasuke who had just pulled a Houdini on them.

Naruto took this time to try and get the ever so observant-one-day-medic-nin's attention once again. Once again, she didn't seem to notice him at all as she ran out of the forest screaming something about wedding colors and flower arrangements, leaving Naruto to his thoughts on the forest floor.

"Unwanted…." he began, mopily. "unneeded. You've always been mistreated." the blonde boy then began to break down in fits of sobs right then and there thinking of dark and emo things. Unbeknownst to him, a very dark, very emo boy was watching him in a tree. Why a tree you ask? Well, it was the only place he thought he could escape his horde of fangirls. After all, no one ever looks up, right.

"I don't care what you think as long as it's about me," the emoer than ever boy began, gaining Naruto's attention, his blue eyes brimming with tears of sorrow and pain. Things Sasuke knew all too well. They stayed like that, peering into each other's souls for what seemed like hours upon hours without end, which, in reality, was only like a minute, but whatever.

"The best of us can find happiness in misery," Sasuke said with his trademark I'm-better-than-you-but-secretly-I-love-and-adore-you-more-than-anyone-in-the-world-but-we-could-never-be-because-the-fangirls-would-only-love-me-more-and-stalk-us-both-you-stupid-Dobe look. Naruto knew it all too well, but at this moment he didn't care. He just noticed that Sasuke had been his soul mate from the start. Put aside the fact that he was only twelve years old, that Sakura just made it clear that she would never be interested in him, and that he had never once ever experience the feeling of being loved in his life, this had to be the real deal!

"Here I go!" Naruto screamed his lungs out, closed his eyes, jumping twenty feet into the air, arms outstretched to the emo boy above. "Scream my lungs out to try and get to you! You are my only one!"

Sasuke mimicked the boy, flying his ways, "I let go. Cuz there's just no one who gets me like you do!" he said just before a pair of soft silky lips collided with his violently. Sasuke didn't wait long to push the blonde flat against his chest and of course the ravishing of the mouth came second. He quite enjoyed himself as he stroked his hand through the long strands of silkily smooth hair- wait…

He tore his face away from the body in his arms that had become jell-o upon impact with his. It was…the flower girl. She shrieked and Sasuke quickly brought his hands to cover his ears, dropping the blonde in his arms, glancing everywhere for his would be lover- who had actually over estimated the height of the tree and missed Sasuke's arms and who was now glaring at the boy in the tree while shaking his blonde head.

"Don't trust a ho, never trust a ho, won't trust a ho…" he said, walking out of the forest, just a little heart broken, looking for the comfort of his ever so popular ramen noodles.

Only one thing was on Sasuke's mind at the moment. He slowly brought a pail hand to trace over his paper white lips, quickly shaking his head and glancing at his hand. "I kissed a girl…and I…liked…it?" he asked, disbelief heavy in his low voice.

X.x.X.x.X

"Remember when I was a bird….and you were a map?" Sasuke shouted as he threw his arms out, smacking a sleeping Sakura hard in the face and sending her flying into a tree five feet away. His eyes roamed to a seated Naruto, who had just dropped a string of ramen noodles with his chopsticks into Kakashi's lap- Kakashi was only partially shocked to see such behavior.

"You were dreaming Sasuke." he said, glancing oddly at the noodles in his lap, wondering how on earth they got there, only soon after shrugging and going back to his book. Naruto had started to yell and scream about hitting people or something, all of which Sasuke ignored.

"I'm okay!" Sakura yelled, propping herself up, only to be smacked down by a slightly angered Sasuke, who immediately turned to the useful members in the group.

"Must have been still asleep," he murmured, plopping down beside Naruto and grabbing some breakfast. Yes, it was the start of a typical day for team 7. Naruto screaming, Sakura off being useless, Kakashi reading and Sasuke ignoring all of them.

Song Disclaimers:

(Song name- Band: person who used quote)

Numb- Linkin Park: Sasuke

Everywhere- Michelle Branch: Naruto

A Thousand Miles- Vanessa Carlton: Naruto

Angel- Natasha Bedingfield: Naruto

When You're Gone- Avril Lavigne: Naruto

Kiss Me- Sixpence None the Richer: Naruto

All Over Again- The Spill Canvas: Naruto

Every Beautiful Day- Sugar Cult: Sasuke

Umbrella- Rihanna: Naruto and Kakashi to some extent

Welcome to My Life- Simple Plan: Naruto, Sasuke continues

My Chemical Romance- Teenagers: Kakashi

Kill Hannah- Unwanted: Naruto

Fall Out Boy- I Don't Care: Naruto, Sasuke

Yellowcard- Only One :Naruto, Sasuke

3oh!3- Don't Trust Me- Naruto

Katy Perry- I Kissed a Girl: Sasuke

Panic at the Disco- Mad as Rabbits