Title: Then and Now
Fandom: Days of Our Lives
Pairing: Brady/Chloe
Rating: PG
Summary: Chloe is sick of lies.
Notes: More of my frustration with Days writing and upcoming spoilers being worked out in fic form.
Supposedly, they are friends now.
She has been Brady's friend before. It was never like this.
When they were friends, Brady said, "He's no good for you, Chloe." He said, "He never understood you, and he never will."
He said this, because he loved her. He said this, because it was true.
Now, he says, "I'm happy for you, Chloe." Now, he says, "Congratulations, Chloe."
Now, Brady lies.
This is how she knows he is not her friend. Brady, her friend—Brady, her best friend—never lied to her.
--
She sees him with Nicole, and it infuriates her. It is not jealousy—not strictly jealousy.
When Brady was honest, Brady said, "I never want to see you again." He said, "Get your stuff out of my house."
He said this because when Brady was honest, he could not stand liars.
Now, he says, "I'm sorry I hurt you, Nicole." Now, he says, "I'll be here if you need anything."
Brady isn't Brady anymore.
--
It took her years to trust him. He had to overcome a whole life of distrust, of people who had disappointed her. But he did it—he did it by never lying, by never letting her down.
He lied about the drugs. He let her down with the divorce papers.
He is back, and he is clean, but she can never look at him the same way.
Anyway, he is not her Brady anymore. Her Brady never lied.
--
She wears Lucas's engagement ring on her finger, and she does not know why. She does not know why she shares his bed, or raises his child, or lets him tell her he loves her, when she does not believe it for a second.
She only believed one man when he said those words.
She only meant them when she said them back to him.
Despite all the lies, this is one truth she cannot hide even from herself.
--
She is a liar now, too. She lies every time she sees him and smiles. She lies every time she asks him how it's going, or how Nicole is doing, or tells him she's just so very, very happy with her life.
Her Brady would know this. Her Brady would call her on her lies, demand her honesty.
This Brady—this Brady, who is supposedly older and wiser, more mature, a responsible adult—smiles and plays along.
--
"Why don't you tell me not to do this?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, tomorrow morning, I am going to marry another man. Why won't you tell me not to?"
"Because I want you to be happy."
"And you think this will make me happy?"
He looks away. She thinks it is progress. At least, now, he cannot lie to her face.
"Then why don't you tell me that?"
"I don't have the right to tell you what to do anymore, Chloe."
"You never had that right, but it never stopped you before."
He smiles. Just for a moment, she sees the old Brady—her Brady—shining through. "I've grown up since then."
"No, you haven't."
"What?"
"Growing up doesn't mean learning to lie, Brady. You and I—we used to tell each other everything, remember that? Big truths, hard truths. We talked. We told each other things we didn't want to hear. We don't anymore. And I know I was the first one to break that trust—I let you think I was dead—but you break it every time you hold back and don't tell me what you're really thinking."
"Chloe, I can't."
"Why?"
"Because I told you I'd be the one to make you happy, I promised we would be happy, and I broke that faith. You were the one thing in this world I was sure of. Being with you—I knew that was forever, and I was wrong. So how can I know I'm right about anything else?"
"Because you know me, Brady. You're the only one who has ever known me, and when you lie, when you won't tell me the truth, I feel like...I feel like I'm invisible."
"You're not invisible. I see you."
"Then talk to me."
"And tell you what?"
"What have I been saying all this time? Tell me the truth."
"The truth? The truth is that I about lose my mind every time I see you with someone else. The truth is that it's not even jealousy; it's beyond that. It just feels wrong. Down to the bone and marrow of me. You don't belong with him, Chloe. You belong with me."
"I know."
He exhales, a loud, angry sound. She smiles; this frustration is her Brady.
"If you know, then why the hell are you marrying him?"
"Because you wouldn't tell me not to."
"Chloe, that's insane."
"I know."
"So, just so we're clear, you're not marrying Lucas tomorrow?"
"No. Though telling him that is going to suck."
Brady's lips twitch as he holds back a smile. "Just tell him the truth."
"The truth? The truth is I haven't known who I am without you, Brady. I've done stupid, stupid things, without any reason, anything I could use to justify them to myself. Just...knowing you weren't there, that you didn't care—"
"I always cared."
"You wouldn't let me stay and help you. You were there for me every minute of my illness, and for all my insecurities. And the one time you needed my help, you wouldn't rely on me. You pushed me away and told me you wanted a divorce."
"Chloe, I—"
"No, Brady, you listen. I can't marry Lucas, because I love you...I've only ever loved you, I will only ever love you. But that doesn't mean things between us are all right. You don't trust me, you won't depend on me, you've been keeping yourself away from me—lying to me—for months."
"I do trust you, Chloe. It's not that. I just...I didn't want to make you suffer anymore because of me."
"Brady, the worst suffering of my life? Has been the times I've been away from you. Including this last year. So stop pushing me away."
"Okay."
"And, for God's sake, start talking to me the way you used to. If you think I'm about to make a horrible life-altering decision, have the decency to tell me, and not make me drag it out of you."
He smiles for real at that, and her heart stops. This is familiar. This is truth. This is home.
