A crooked beauty.

I was never meant to be a fighter.

A lover not a fighter on the front line (with a bow)…

I´m one of those people who would jump off a wall just to feel the fall, never giving a moment's thought as to whether or not the landing would hurt.

I just feel happier around her.

You gave me a reason to live, just by being you.

The maze runner:

In the beginning

The only thought running through my head as the metal clattered beside me, rushing me upwards, was that I didn´t remember anything. I willed my head to come up with something familiar – a face, a voice, something. But nothing was there.

And I freaked out. I tried standing up, but then the metal cave clattered and I fell down on top of some of the boxes standing everywhere.

After about ten minutes, I had regained control over myself and just sat in the darkness, waiting for something to happen. Surely I was here for a reason, and I had a feeling I was soon to find out why.

After what felt like decades but were probably just half an hour, the cave finally stopped. I heard buzzing sound like an automatic door opening, and sure enough the top of the cave got lifted off and daylight blinded me.

A moment of absolute silence and I thought, am I alone? But then voices, a lot of them, broke out all at once.

"It´s a girl," someone yelled.

"Let me se."

"Is she hot?"

"Dips!"

I was too disorientated to find head and tails in them, but I slowly regained my sight and the people stepped into focus.

About twenty or so were standing above me, looking down in the cave where I lay and I now realized it was actually a metal box, formed like a prison.

They were all 14 – 20 years old, and they were all boys.

I swallowed hard as I looked around on those many faces – some of them looked at me with surprise, others laughed and waved at me. One of them actually made a face like he didn´t like the smell I´d brought with me. I got an urge to punch him, probably because it was the only rational thing my mind could think of right now.

Then a big muscular boy jumped down in the box, he had short blond hair and the eyebrows of the devil.

"Rise and shine Greenie," he said as he laughed.

I was too perplexed to say anything and just kept close to the corner of the box, not caring how scared I looked.

The boy with the devil eyebrows caught my hand and got me up standing, then he went ahead and grabbed my waist, and before I could do anything to protest, he gave me a hard lift and I almost flew up on the ground. I stumbled and landed on all four, trying very hard to find the calmness I´d forced myself into in the box.

I heard mixed laughter erupting all around me, boys snickering everywhere around me.

I got up, not taking an eye of either one of them, daring them to come closer.

I had no weapon if it came to that, but I would kick my way out of here if I had to.

"Hey sunshine," someone called.

"Want a kiss?" one of them made a kissing mouth.

I punched him in the face.

A crunching sound was heard and the guy fell back, clutching his nose, blood spraying out of it.

I didn´t have time to actually process what I´d do next, I just knew I had to get away to get a clear head, and I jumped over the guy and ran.

The moment of bafflement had passed when I sprinted away, and the boys were now yelling weird stuff like – "We´ve got a runner," and "Don´t go into the maze."

The maze, I thought. I looked up while my legs worked, and I saw a big wall surrounding the whole place. They were at least a hundred feet tall and looked very broad, made of something hard.

In the middle of one of the sides was an opening that went up to the top of the wall, almost like it vanished in the sky.

I found that it was the only way out of here by now that didn´t involve going through a horde of boys again to try my way with the box, so I made a run for it, forcing my legs too keep up the pace.

"She´s headed for the maze," someone yelled faintly.

"Somebody stop her!"

And now they are after me, I thought. Fantastic.

I speeded up and eventually reached what they called the maze, grass became concrete under my feet sending a small chock up my legs, and just kept on running until I could round a corner, but I stopped, not knowing what to do then. I could see exactly what they meant by maze, all the corners and weird walls I couldn´t see the end of, and the facts that it probably encircled the whole place I had first come from. Chances were I´d get lost, like really lost.

I looked back just to see the boys had stopped at the threshold of the maze. I could see their faces, not laughing anymore but genuinely concerned.

A moment I thought about going back – if it could scare away twenty boys, who I now realized was more like sixty – it couldn´t be good. There was a reason they were all afraid to enter this place.

"Somebody get Alby and Newt!" one of them yelled. More boys? I thought. No thanks, and then I went around the corner.

I didn´t have any specific course, I just knew I had to keep up an okay fast speed, so I did. I took the maze left, right, left, right so I knew a pattern to get back to. It was kind of nice to have at least a small amount of control over a place like this, and a safety line.

Then, at some point, a guy ran into me.

I fell down on my but with an "ungh." The guy had stumbled on to his feet already and looked down at me, first shear fright then surprise.

"Who the shuck are you?" he asked.

I looked up and down at him – he was alone for sure, otherwise someone would have burst through the wall by now.

"I-I don´t know," I said, and finally, because he didn´t seem to want to hurt me, and I was too tired to run away by now, I caved. "I came up in this box," I said while tears filled my eyes. My nose closed up with snot and I tried drying it away as much as possible, but more kept coming, mixing with saltwater. "All these boys was just standing and looking at me, and I- I freaked out."

The guy, an Asian kid with spiking black hair and covered in a fine layer of sweat, looked a little more relaxed, but also like he had no idea what to do next.

"But," he said. "You´re a girl."

I sent him an angry look.

"Yes," I said. "I´m well aware of that. But thank you for pointing it out for the sixth time today."

The guy scratched the back of his head.

"Sorry," he mumbled. But how did you get in here? Greenies aren´t supposed to run into the maze."

"I, uhm," I said and stood up. "I punched a guy in the face and went for it."

The Asian bursted out in laughter.

"Oh man," he said, drying of tears of joy. "That´s priceless."

"Glad you find it so funny," I mumbled while dusting some of the soil off of my butt.

"But look," the guy said as he was done laughing. "You can´t stay here – you have to come with me back to the Glade."

"The Glade?"

"The big areal in the middle of the maze. We call it the Glade," he answered.

"Why?" I asked. "Why can´t I just stay out here?"

"Because it gets very not-fun in the night," the guy said and his face grew a dark twitch even though the rest was still lit up in humor.

Something about the way he said it, with so much passion, made me reconsider my previous thought of just running around here until I found a way out.

"Okay," I said, even though I didn´t mean it.

"I´m Minho by the way," the guy said. "The unofficial queen of the Glade. I suppose you don´t know your name."

"How did you know?" I asked surprised. Minho shrugged.

"It´s common. Your name will return to you in a matter of days. It´s the only thing they let us keep."

"They?"

"The ones who put us here. The creators," he said. "I know you´ve got a lot of questions, but we have to get back before nightfall," he looked at his watch. "And we might want to hurry."

He took off sprinting and I had to press myself to keep up with him. He knew exactly where to go – left, right, left – I recognized some of the places. A wall where wines were reaching the top and bottom, a corner with a little piece cut off.

It was kind of amazing, and I felt my brain mapping everything out in my head as we ran, almost like a drawing.

My legs grew sore in a matter of minutes because I´d already been running far that day, but my heart found its own rhythm, adjusting to my breathing and the only sound: our feet hitting the pavement.

It was actually kind of relaxing, I got time to think.

We rounded the last corner and the moment we´d gotten real earth under our shoes again, I bend over, resting my hands on my knees and breathed heavily.

Some of the boys had seen us and a few had come over.

"What the heck were you thinking," the guy with the devil eyebrows asked, his face red with anger.

I didn´t answer him, I didn´t have the energy, so I just settled for an angry stare.

A bald guy, maybe 19 or 20 with dark skin came forward. I knew at once that he was the leader figure – the way he submitted authority and the fact that all the boys had made room for him when they saw him.

I was too tired to get actually upset, I just wanted some water and then to go somewhere, preferably a place I could be alone, and sleep.

"Minho," the leader snapped. "What the shuck happened?"

Minho shrugged.

"She just came out of nowhere, scaring me to death that is. She was pretty out of control; did you shanks try to eat her or something?"

The leader looked at Minho like he wanted him gone at once, but Minho just stood there, smiling like he was queen of the world, which, unofficially, he was.

The leader then rested his gaze on me, his brown eyes piercing mine.

"Greenie," he said. "I´m Alby – the shank who runs this place." He held out a hand, clearly wanting me to take it. I saw no other option, so I shook it. "Guess you´re pretty confused, huh?"

I didn´t say anything, I didn´t even nod.

Alby took a deep breath like he was trying to keep himself from yelling at me.

"First rule you should learn," he then said. "No one goes into that maze unless you´re a runner."

"Why?" I asked. It was the first thing I´d said to anyone besides Minho, and some of the boys snickered a little. Was I really that funny?

"Because it´s shuck dangerous!" Alby said loudly. "That´s why."

And in that exact moment, I heard a quirking sound behind me. I turned around to see the wall closing up, stone against stone got dragged across the opening and sealed it shut with a boom that echoed all over the Glade, but not before an ear-piercing scream got between it.

"What was that?" I asked in disbelief, my heart rate had quickened considerably.

"A griever," Alby said in a dark voice.

"Man, don´t wish those ones upon your worst enemy," Minho said. Then he yawned like this was just an everyday thing.

I turned around again, facing the boys. Some had lost interest and begun going back to what I judged as fields and a big house that looked about as stable as a house of cards. Behind that was a forrest, a few of the trees dead.

But Alby was still there, looking kind of sad.

"How long have you guys been here?" I asked gravely, not knowing if I actually wanted the answer.

Alby took a deep breath like he was telling me something heavy.

"It depends," he said. "Once a month, the box that you came with delivers a boy. Always a boy, therefore you´re kind of out of place."

"Ya think?" I asked, sarcasm covering the scared taint in my voice.

"I´ve been here almost four years," Alby continued. "I was the first one."

I felt my eyes widen with fear.

"So that´s it?" I asked. "You just gets captured here and no one´s doing anything about it?"

Minho snorted.

"What am I?" he asked. "A fridge?"

"Oh," I said as it finally dawned on me. "You´re running around to try and solve the maze."

"Bingo," he said and gave me a huge grin. "Done that for three years now, it´s very boring. Well, when you don´t meet the occasional griever."

"You mean they come out in the day?" I asked and turned to look at the massive walls again.

"It´s like an owl," Alby said. "Night animals but you can hear them in the day sometimes."

I swallowed hard.

"Can they get in here?" I asked.

"Nope," Minho said. "That´s what we have the walls to, to keep us save."

My head swam with questions: Had anybody ever tried to spend the night in there? Couldn´t we get out through the box entrance? Why couldn´t anybody remember anything?

And if this guy, Minho, had been running the maze for three whole years, how had he not found a way out yet?

"So," I said, trying to focus on what Minho was saying. "We´re like lab rats? Trying to find the cheese in the labyrinth, and when we hear a sound or the night falls, we run back to safety in the Glade?"

Neither one of the boys seemed thrilled at that comparison.

"Minho," Alby said. "Go to the map room and do your thing. I´ll take Greenie and get her some of Frypan´s food."

"My name´s not Greenie," I said, tired of people calling me that. "It´s Summer." Then it dawned on me what I´d said, and a small smile found its way to my lips. "Hey, I remember," I said. It was like getting a piece, small but still a piece, of myself back again.

"Congrats Greenie," Alby said, and I got the feeling they´d keep on calling me that for a while, maybe till the next arrival came. "Now come on or you´re gonna have to starve."

Frypan turned out to be the cook, and he made great food. Eggrolls and meat pie for dinner tasted like heaven after a whole day without anything. I ate so much I was afraid I had to throw up. Alby then gave me a sleeping bag and pointed to a spot near the forrest where others already were curled up.

"Get some sleep," he said. "You need to be rested for tomorrow´s work."

He didn´t explain himself, and then he was gone.

The whole time all of the boys starred at me, and that little piece of happiness I´d gotten from knowing my own name vanished and got replaced by a deep sadness. It took me a while to realize it was homesickness. How can I be homesick when I don´t even remember my home, I wondered.

I snuggled up in the sleeping bag, and as darkness fell upon us, I let my thoughts fly away and greeted sleep with open arms.

Morning came faster than I´d have liked, and I was awoken by someone shaking my shoulder.

"Get up, Green bean" someone said. I recognized the voice as the guy with the devil eyebrows. "It´s seven o´clock and you´ve been assigned to me today," he said. I opened my eyes sleepily, and let the warmth of the sun shine on my face. "I´m Gally," the guy said. "Now get up!"

He gripped the end of my sleeping bag where my feet lay and pulled it up so I tumbled out of the opening and onto the ground.

"What the heck?" I asked as I stood up and picked grass and dirt of my shirt. "Relax, I was getting there."

Gally smiled wickedly.

"Getting there isn´t good enough," Gally said. "Everyone is already working. Now come on before I dip your head in klunk."
I did not know what klunk was, but something told me it was not exactly perfume.

I looked around and sure enough – the ground was scattered with sleeping bags, some neatly folded but most just pushed aside. A lot of them seemed to contain something, maybe their few possessions.

"You´re so rude," I said to Gally. "What´s the matter with you. Give me a break."

"Hey!" Gally snapped and put his face far too close to mine for comfort. "In the Glade we do as we´re told, now move or you won´t get any breakfast."

"What´s going on here?" a voice with a British accent said. I turned around to see a guy, 17or so; walking towards us, limping a little like he´d hurt his foot. He had windswept blond hair and amazing brown eyes. He was a bit lanky but in a muscular way.

His eyes rested a moment longer on me than necessary, but then turned to Gally.

"You go do your thing," he said, obviously he also had some authority around here. "I´ll take the Greenie today."

Gally mumbled something like "Good luck," and then disappeared.

"You must be the Greenie," the blond guy said and held out his hand. "I´m Newt."

"Summer," I said and shook it. Newt smiled.

"You remember?" he asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "Are you like, second in command or something like that?"

Newt laughed.

"Something like that," he replied. "Now come on, I´ll show you around."

I was very thankful that Newt had saved me from Gally so I followed willingly, wanting to make a better impression than yesterday. If I was stuck here, it didn´t do any good that I stood out. So I

promised myself to blend in, as much as a girl can blend in in a crowd of boys.

I did not like where my thoughts traveled to, so instead I focused on talking.

"You have like, a restroom or something?" I asked. The thought of going to the woods to do my business made me really uncomfortable.

"Over there," Newt said and pointed at a small building behind the big one. "There´s also a shower if you really stink, but not many uses it. Don´t know why, they could bloody use it."

I nodded, agreeing very much.

"What´s over there then?" I asked and pointed at a little hole in the ground a few feet away. It had a gate of some sort that looked very strong, almost like a prison.

"That´s the slammer," Newt said. "When a Glader does something they´re not allowed to, they spend a few nights in the slammer. Alby actually talked the keepers out of putting you there – it´s illegal to go into the maze unless you´re a runner." He seemed to bite his tongue, but then opened his mouth anyway. "But the slammer is only for minor crimes – big ones you get banished for."

"Banished," I said, the word leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. "Do I even wanna know what that implies?"

Newt snickered.

"Probably not."

We reached the big house that Newt told me was called the Homestead, and got two big portions of eggs and bacon.

"This is so good," I said out loud as I devoured the eggs. Newt laughed.

"Frypan´s food is some of the only things we shanks have to look forward to in this bloody dumb," he said, sounding bitterer than I´d heard him before.

I looked out at the open field, smelling the fresh grass and hearing the eventual laughter from some of the boys. In just about a day, I wasn´t the big freak anymore. Sure, some of them still stared, but they had gotten very good at looking away before I noticed.

I didn´t really understand exactly why Newt seemed to hate this place.

Then I remembered that I didn´t remember anything, and that there was no way out and we were all trapped mice.

And I slowly lost my appetite.

I kept having this feeling in my gut that somehow, I needed to be out in the labyrinth, trying to find a way out of here.

"Ya done yet?" Newt asked. I nodded and went after him as he led the way.

"Now, some rules you have to know: Number one," he said and held up a lone finger to symbolize. "Do not enter the maze at any costs."

I rolled my eyes, trying not to show that it was all I wanted to do.

"Number two: Do not harm another Glader – that´s what we call ourselves, us who lives in the Glade."

"Kind of obvious, don´t you think?" I asked with a crooked smile.

"Number three: Do as you´re told and you´ll be alright," he said, sending me a smile but otherwise ignoring my comment.

"Let me see, what haven´t I shown you," he said and scratched his chin. He looked really adorable doing that and I had to look away before I blushed.

Come on, I told myself. Your head needs to be clear if you´re gonna survive this without going crazy.

"We´ve got the Map room over there," Newt said and pointed at a little cottage made of sticks but with no windows. "It´s for Minho´s eyes only, inside there he´s mapping out the whole maze, trying to find a way out."

My head began spinning. If Minho was mapping it all out, wouldn´t he have come up with something by now? I didn´t know how big the maze was, but surely, if they´d begun those almost four years back, they should have found something by now.

"… we burry all of our dead," Newt said, interrupting my line of thoughts.

"I´m sorry," I said. "I didn´t get that."

Newt shrugged.

"It´s just the forrest. I was saying ´don´t go in there´, but that´s actually your call. If you want to be with dead people then by all means, help yourself. It´s just not a place others like to visit."

"What do those people die off?" I asked.

Newt looked at me, his brown eyes almost drilling holes into my skull.

"Grievers," he said. "We´ve had our fair share – some gets stung in the day and make it back before they collapse, and then we can give them the medicine. The creators sends us medicine and fresh supplies every week. But those who don´t make it back or who gets stuck out there in the night," he shuddered. "Well, let´s just say that we always find them when the doors open up."

I looked over at the gigantic entrance, open and looking as made out of stone as it was, defying all laws of physics by, apparently, opening every morning and closing every evening.

I swallowed hard. Why was I so tempted to just run in there? Why did it feel like it was my place in the world, like I was born to do exactly that?

"There are seven jobs in this shuck place," Newt said. I still hadn´t gotten the meanings of those weird words – shuck, shank and klunk – but I didn´t even want to ask. My head was to full of other questions.

"Every job is run by a keeper, also the ones sitting in this sort of counsel," he made a face. "We´re very diplomatic."

"What are those guys like Minho called?" I asked.

"Runners," Newt said, then with a small smile. "Imagine, running around all day, mapping out everything in your head – I can say, I don´t miss it." Then he looked at me. "But you´ve already tried it, right?" he said.

"You were a runner?" I asked to get the attention away from my screw-up. Newt nodded.

"Got this limp out in the maze," he said and waved with his bad foot. "Another runner named Ben found me and got me back, but I can never run again."

He didn´t sound like he missed it a lot.

"I want to be a runner," I said out of the blue. And as I said it, I felt the righteous of that statement. I was going to be a runner, I was born for it, I was sent here to do just that.

Newt put his head back and laughed a loud clear sound.

Then he looked at me and his smile faded away.

"You´re serious," he said.

"Duh," I replied. "I want to be a runner, how do I become one?"

"You don´t," Newt said. "You came out of that shuck box literally fourteen hours ago, sprinted into the maze and now you want to go back? Have you got a bloody death wish or something?"

I looked back at the gigantic entrance thinking about the closing doors and the shrieking from that thing the Gladers called a griever and were all afraid of.

"I´ve been wondering that myself," I said.

"Well, get it out of your buggin´ head," Newt told me while frowning. "It takes months to become a bloody runner; you might as well begin helping me in the garden."
When Newt turned around and began walking towards the fields beside the Homestead, I followed. I knew I needed someone out there in the maze with me to not get lost, especially if I wanted to really search it instead of just going left, right, left. So I decided to wait for when Minho came back this afternoon.

And so I followed Newt, but I never could forget about the maze entirely. The peace I´d felt running in there was something else entirely, and even though I got to know a lot of the other boys that day, I longed for the feeling of security and comfortness I´d had in there, where I could actually get a moment to think.

On the bucket list

I walked towards the Homestead, not really knowing exactly how I was about to do this. I knew what I wanted and had a few flimsy ideas as how to get it, but how embarrassing it would get if I got caught… I tried not to think of it and took a few deep breaths as I stepped inside.

"Hey guys," I said as casually as I would have done it every other day. Alby was in there with Minho.

He gave me a greeting nod.

"Anything you need on the list shank?" Minho asked, waving a piece of paper. "We´re almost done."

"Actually," I said. "There´s a few things I could use. Can I borrow that?" I said and pointed to the pen Minho was holding. He snatched it away before I even reached it, a huge grin on his face.

"You just tell me," he said, making a big deal out of not wanting to give me the paper.

"I kind of want to write this down myself," I said, sounding only a little less nervous than I was.

"Just say it," Alby said, sounding a bit tired. I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Okay," I said slowly, determent on showing them exactly how much gumptions I had. The only girl in the Glade had to have some tricks up her sleeves. "I need shampoo, lip balm, leg shavers, shaving cream," I said as I was counting on my fingers – I watched with satisfaction as the boys' faces grew whiter and whiter at the last two mentions, clearly uncomfortable with where this was going. And so I kept on, searching my brain for everything a woman might need that would make a man run away screaming. "I also need pantyhoses, bras, tampons-"

"OKAY!" Minho burst out and shot up like the chair had burned him, clearly Alby wasn´t going to say anything. "You can write," Minho said, handing over the paper and pencil. "Just, don´t ever say anything like that again," he warned me. "Ever."

I smiled apologizing, knowing that I suddenly had a whole lot of opportunities here, as I took the seat and began writing.

I actually needed a few of the things I´d said and I wrote down all of them for good measure, and in the middle, where no one would see it if they didn´t look closely enough, I wrote down condoms. I had to bite my lip as I realized that what I was planning was kind of crazy and I had no idea if the creators would even grant me my wishes, but I hoped.

I could feel my hands trembling as I held up the paper and waved it around, planting a fake grin on my face.

"Ya wanna check it out?" I asked, laughing, gambling.

"Nope," Alby said. He snatched the paper from me and curled it up so he didn´t have to look at it more closely. "I think we´re all good. Now let´s get that shuck note down the box before it leaves."

He walked out of the door which left Minho and me alone. I took a deep breath, almost quivering. Funny how I could run from grievers every day but got shaken up by something as teenage as condoms.

I looked over at Minho who was staring at me like I was the weirdest thing that´d ever happened to him. Feeling a bit braver I smiled even more, leaning back in the chair like I´d do mockingly in an ordinary day, trying not to fidget with the pencil.

"What?" I asked.

"Don´t come near me the next few days," he said, and then he was gone, mumbling something about cooties.

In the woods

"I´m so sorry Minho," I said, trying to sound as sincere as possible. Behind Minho Newt was looking very relaxed, how come he was such a great actor? What did he go around hiding? "But I really can´t run in the maze today – you´re going to have to do this on your own."

Minho was looking at me like I had just told him a clown had jumped from the sky and begun making out with Frypan.

"Why not?" Alby snapped, clearly annoyed at me.

I drew a little away from him and gave him the lie I´d practiced.

"I´m sick," I said, maybe a little too fast. A second passed where Newt just stared at me, then raising both eyebrows as if pushing me to remember something. Oh, right, I thought, almost saying it out loud. Then I fake-coughed, covering my mouth with my whole arm.

Newt rolled his eyes, obviously thinking I was way too dramatic.

"Jesus," Alby exhaled and took a step back like I had the plague.

"Sorry," I barked with a hoarse voice, trying to look very sick. "I just don´t think it would be a good idea."

"Fine," Minho snapped, throwing his hands up in the air and acting like the biggest drama-queen on earth. "Then I´ll just run without you, but mark my words: If I get eaten by a shuck griever, someone is getting seriously haunted!"

And with those words he wandered off, ramming his feet into the ground.

Alby then turned to me, arms crossed and with a non-too-happy look on his face. I don´t think I´d ever seen him smile. Not once.

"If you get better," he said. "Then what are you gonna do all day?"

"Oh, you know," I said and shrugged like it was no big deal while still trying to look very innocent and sick, but then my eyes darted to Newt who was still standing there, looking wantingly at me like saying: What are you going to do? "Stuff," I ended up replying.

Behind Alby Newt snickered and looked down before meeting my gaze again, his eyes amused and filled with lust.

Alby scratched his chin.

"Go get checked by the med jacks," he finally said, clearly trying to sound more compassionate than what he was feeling.

"Will do," I said, almost visibly trying to force my heart to slow down. Running in the maze all day and battling grievers were no problem compared to acting.

"I´ll take her," Newt volunteered, sounding as casual as ever.

He took my shoulder and gently led me towards the homestead. But instead of leading me inside, we walked past it and into the darkness of the tree grove where no one ever came.

When we were long past the line of darkness where we could not be seen by the rest of the Glade, Newt spun me around and pressed his lips against mine, almost like he was breathing me in. I was more than happy to just lean into the kiss, let it swallow me whole.

"God," Newt said as we pulled away and he looked at me, a huge grin on his face. "You´re so adorable, you know that? `I´m sick – cough cough´," he said, mocking me.

"Well everyone can´t be absolute masters of lying like you," I said. "What secrets have you had to hide to get so good at it?"

"If I tell you I´ll have to kill you," he joked.

"I´d take that bet."

He laughed; a clear loud sound that almost made my chest explode.

"I´m not bloody betting anything with you," he said. "You´d rip me off."

We used the first four or so hours to try and built something out of old wood, playing silly games and talking. I don´t think that I´d heard so much laughter since the day I´d come, and especially not gotten that many kisses. At one point both of our stomachs began to growl and Newt got us some food from Frypans´. While he was gone I began thinking hard.

I knew exactly what I wanted, just not how to actually make it happen without feeling nude-in-public embarrassed.

Newt came back with a couple of sandwiches that we devoured in a matter of minutes, and then we just sat there, our backs against a tree, my head on his shoulder, and listened to the sound of nothing. It had been so long since I´d just relaxed, sitting there just to sit there, breathed just to breathe.

I looked up at Newt. His eyes closed his jaw square, his mouth a little bit open.

"I can feel you buggin´ looking at me," he said, that British accent one of my favorite sounds in the world.

"Can´t help it," I said, my voice softer than I´d thought it´d be. Newt opened one eye and looked at me. Then he turned his whole head towards me with a kind of bitter-sweet look. He graced my cheek with his thumb and leaned in to kiss me again.

Slowly, forming his mouth after mine. I wrapped my arms around him and dragged him closer to me, wishing we could just melt together. Maybe it wouldn´t be so hard getting what I wanted after all. We were kind of on the right track here.

Newt suddenly were everywhere, he held me tight as he began wandering down my shoulders, my stomach, my hips. Everywhere he touched it felt like electricity had shot through me and gave me goosebumps.

I wasn´t disappointed at my own response, almost a little scared of how much I didn´t stop this, how far I was willing to go. I let my own hands go wherever they wanted, inspect every path they wanted to on his body – I felt his hair between my fingers and pulled his mouth closer as my other hand moved further down. A jolt went through him as I ran my fingertips underneath his shirt. Feeling a little braver I crawled up his stomach and felt his bare chest, felt his racing heartbeat.

I began lying down, pulling him with me. He moved forward, still kissing me tenderly like the world was ending.

A shudder went through him when my hands went a little too far down his stomach and he gasped. I felt a rush of adrenaline in being able to make him react this way to me.

"You´re killing me here," Newt whispered between kisses, heaving for breaths.

"You´ll die happy," I said and kept on kissing him.

"I´m serious," he said. He pulled a little away, his grave eyes staring into mine. I felt every cell in my body move when he looked at me with those dark eyes, especially when we were this close. "It kills me to be this close to you and not being able to touch you, not being able to-" he bit his lip, letting the rest of the sentence speak for itself.

I swallowed hard, knowing this was the point of no return.

"Who says you can´t?" I asked, dead serious, not letting go of him.

Newt snorted.

"You know as well as I do, that we can´t," he said, clearly a bit uncomfortable. "We can´t risk that."

My mouth was dry as sandpaper as I dug my shaking hand down in my pocket and drew out the only things I´d taken with me.

Newt only had to look at them for a second before the big question mark covering his features turned into surprise. He spun his gaze towards me like he really couldn´t believe what was happening.

"I asked for some the last time the box came up," I said, feeling the need to explain myself. I was certain my face grew red with embarrassment. My voice shook a little. "I want you Newt," I said, not really believing I was actually telling him this. "I want you so much, and it´s just-" I didn´t get to say anything before Newt leaned in and kissed me again, sucking away every attempt I might´ve done to try and speak.

Didn´t really mind tough.

"You sure?" was all he asked, his voice quivering with desire almost as much as my insides.

I nodded without hesitation, nervousness and excitement almost closing up my throat.

"Absolutely," I got out, because of course I was sure.

Newt smiled against my mouth before he lay me down in the grass and returned to kissing me. He didn´t stop for a long time.

The scorch trials:

In the oxygen tube

I was on edge the whole walk from the test room to the common area but doing a good job not hiding it if I had to say it myself. Guess I´d gotten practice.

I liked being clean again though. I kept on sniffing my too-long sleeves that smelled of lavender and something buttery. It was the first time I´d had clean nails since entering the Glade, and I had to say that it felt wonderful.

I´d missed showers.

Entering the common area, the doors drew out to make room for me. I glanced around, quickly getting an eye on my friends: they were sitting at a table by themselves, arguing heavily but almost soundlessly.

Thomas was the first to see me as I walked over and he nudged Newt who looked up, his eyes meeting mine. I would never get used to the way he looked at me.

Then I saw that he too was clean – they all were. Jack had gotten a whole skin tone lighter because of the missing dirt.

"Hey," I said as I slit in beside Frypan.

"Dang girl," Frypan said. "You looking fine."

I rolled my eyes even though I enjoyed the compliment.

"Soap," I explained. Newt just looked at me and smiled, and I could see in the small wrinkle at his eyebrows that he´d been worrying.

Then in that moment, rat man came in through the door. His gaze swept over all of us and landed on our table. Behind him he had four guards armed with launchers.

"What do you want?" Thomas snapped as they approached us, maybe a little too vicious for our good.

"Are we a little snippy this morning?" Rat man asked sarcastically. Then his eyes turned to me. "We just need Summer for a few final tests."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Newts hands tighten into fists.

"The Hell you´re-" he snarled before I interrupted him.

"Sure," I said, standing up. "Whatever you need me fore."

Newt grabbed my arm before I could take a step and pulled me down, his eyes filled with concern.

"I don´t think it´s a good idea," Newt said. I smiled reassuringly even though I couldn´t disagree with him. We´d all done a lot of tests, but this felt… off. Like something was wrong, different in a way.

I didn´t know what it was, but the feeling was enough to get a nervous knot growing in my stomach.

"Don´t worry," I said, trying to play it cool.

"We´ll have her back in ten minutes," Rat man said, clearly sensing that something was wrong.

Thomas leaned in, openly trying to avoid being overheard by rat man.

"You trust them?" he asked, his vice low and solemn.

I bit my lip.

"No," I said so low that no one but Newt and Thomas would´ve been able to hear me had they tried. "But they don´t need to know that."

I tore myself away.

"Save some chicken for me if they have some," I told them, trying to play my part of having no care in the world. But what rat man didn´t see was my look of seriousness as I spoke the next sentence. "Ten minutes," I said, willing Newt to get my point all the while holding up ten fingers.

Then I turned around and enthusiastically followed rat man out of the common area.

I could feel every Gladers eyes on me as I walked out.

Walking the halls alone had made me uneasy from the moment we got there. Turns out having four guards following you with launchers ready to shoot you didn´t exactly make it comfy either.

I felt kind of awesome knowing that WICKED needed four guards to guard a teenage girl though, but why did they need guards anyway? I had done nothing to deserve their mistrust, just the opposite in fact.

Maybe that was what had given me away.

I swallowed hard, forcing the increasing panic down to a minimum, focusing on keeping my steps light and just the thought of a smile on my lips.

In that moment I really wished my friends would just swoop in and get me away from here. The last two months I´d been forced to always be on the lookout, always be alert, and now, where I could do absolutely nothing about it, I felt my hands tingle with the notion that I was walking right in to a trap.

We walked for a long time, at one point one of the guards pocked me with his launcher to get me to climb a staircase.

"Move," he said with a dark tone.

After that I was certain they would do something awful to me. But I bit my tongue and tried to slow my steps as much as I possibly could. I prayed to all the gods I could think of that Newt had gotten my message - that somehow he´d understood.

At an all too early point we entered the big test room again, but now there were only two female doctors in here and some of the equipment had been taken away.

One of the doctors, the one with the black hair and coffee skin, smiled sweetly at me.

"Hello Summer," she said. "I hope we didn´t interrupt your meal?"

I waved it away like it was no big deal.
"I´m happy to be of assistance," I said, trying to sound both casual and grateful.

The doctor, Sonya her nametag read, smiled again.

"Well, then," she said. "Shouldn´t we get started? If you´ll please follow me, I just have to take a brain scan. "

I was almost about to say that they´d already taken a brain scan on me, but I didn´t. I knew what the brain scan meant so maybe I could just use that as a way of dragging out time.

I followed Dr. Sonya over to the brain-chair and positioned myself in it when she sad so. The other doctor just tagged along.

At one point two of the guards had vanished, probably relived from duty. Which meant that they weren´t going to be there when I had to be lead back. But why have four on the way out and only two on the way back? It didn´t make sense, unless of course they didn´t count on having to follow me back.

I felt my heartbeat quicken and my mouth go dry.

Please please please, I thought, not really knowing exactly what I was asking for.

"The helmet will come down slowly," Dr. Sonya warned and lowered the glowing helmet on to my head. She then sat behind the screen, showed me pictures and asked me questions to see how my brain reacted.

"Everything looks fine," she said, and then she smiled. The helmet got lifted off of me and I rose from the seat.

"Can I go now then?" I asked a little too eager. My gut was telling me to get out immediately.

"We just have one more test," Dr. Sonya said. "Follow me please."

There were only two guards, but both guards had launcher, so with an inside growl I followed the doctor, the other doctor coming along behind us.

Behind a curtain there was half a cylinder, like a round metal bed with an actual bed to lie on inside, but with leather belts on.

I felt my insides go cold at the sight.

"If you will please get on the bed," Dr. Sonya said.

I smiled.

"Of course," I said. I took one step forward, and then I turned around and kicked one of the guards in the groin.

He fell down on the ground, growling in pain and I reached for the other guard, but before I could get to him the other doctor put his leg out and tripped me.

I hit the floor hard and seconds later I was held down by the other guard. I could feel his weight on my back and the launcher on my head.

"I will shoot her," the guard said. "Give me the word and I´ll shoot her in the head."

I whined, trying to shake him off but not having the strength. How heavy was he?

"No," Dr. Sonya wailed. "Don´t. Just get her up in the tank."

Another pair of hands grabbed me and dragged me up.

"You little bitch," the guard I´d kicked said. I wanted to spit at him.

Despise my attempts to get free, the guards got me down on the bed in the cylinder and held me in place while the doctors tied the leather straps around my wrists and ankles. I succeeded in holding my right wrist a centimeter above the bed by using my knuckles as a doorstop between them while they tied it without anyone noticing.

When I was safely secured, Dr. Sonya adjusted her hair and sent me an icy stare.

"You don´t have to be so cumbersome," she said, and I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes at her.

Like I didn´t have the right.

Dr. Sonya took a pad from the table and clicked on a few things on it.

A sound like an elevator door sounded and a lid of a transparent material rolled out from the metal and began closing above me.

"It´s the last test for you," Dr. Sonya said, her smile a little twisted now. "We just need to see how your brain works under the lack of oxygen."

"What?" I gasped in disbelief as the lid had gotten halfway now. "You´re going to suffocate me?"

"Don´t look at it as suffocating," Dr. Sonya said. "It´s merely an experiment for the greater good of humanity."

"It´s an execution," I bit as the room for fresh air got smaller and smaller.

Dr. Sonya´s face fell when I said those words, but she quickly collected herself.

"It´s for the greater good of humanity," she repeated. "And you should feel lucky that you´re able to contribute to this trial." Then the lid closed.

Dr. Sonya pressed a button and I could feel the oxygen getting sucked out of the tube.

I quickly took a deep breath, knowing I had to work fast.

I began wriggling my right wrist, going back and forth with it, trying to pull it out from the leather band all the while forcing my heart rate down.

Fortunately the extra space I´d gained in lifting my wrist a bit when they tied me up, and the fact that the leather gave away a little, I was able to jerk my hand out.

I immediately began untying my left wrist.

It wasn´t easy dong it with one hand under pressure and my head was already dancing, my lungs craving oxygen.

Finally I got the left one free too, then my feet.

The doctors and guards stared at me, Dr. Sonya furiously tapping her machine, probably sucking away the oxygen even faster.

I got a feeling that she wasn´t interested in my brain patterns, she just wanted me dead and to torment me as much as possible while doing so.

She was clearly a psychopath.

Black spots began clouding my vision, my heart beating faster by the second and my whole body feeling like it had been suppressed. My lungs screamed my throat screamed.

I began hammering on the tube, probably not the most rational plan because who would create a vacuum and then not make a strong lid that I could not kick my way out of. But I was oxygen deprived and I could not think straight, the only thing I wanted was to breathe in.

And so I opened my mouth, but there were no more oxygen in the tube as in my lungs and I began frantically to gasp. Like a fish on land every ounce of energy leaped out of me as my lungs sucked in absolutely nothing.

My eyes began stinging and I wanted to claw my way out of my own skin and die.

Then suddenly the Gladers barged into the room. They stopped as the two guards pointed their launchers at them, but then Newt turned his head in my direction. His eyes widened as he understood. That I was dying. He yelled something and the Gladers charged the guards and the doctors.

Newt rushed to the tube, hammering on the glass, looking at me with despair. I still tried breathing in small rasping breaths, but my vision completely blacked out. I heard Newt screaming my name and Thomas´ through the muffle of a barrier between, then the sound of a launcher going off and finally a shattering noise right above me.

My body reacted before I even got a thought in, my chest rising, my eyes flying open as I sucked in the blessed air.

I blinked a couple of times, just breathing, getting my heart working accurately again: It stumbled through three beats before finding a high rhythm, just like a motorboat, and gradually it realized that there were more than enough oxygen now and slowly began to relax. I sat up while breathing heavily, not caring that my clothes got torn on the glass fragments.

It took a moment to get my vision back, but that moment Newt used to hug me.

"You gave me a bloody heart attack Summer," he said. "Are you okay?"

I coughed and breathed and let Newt and Thomas, who looked just as horrified, help me out of the tube. I looked around, terrified, trying to cope with the scenario.

The lid of the tube was crushed and sharp pieces lying everywhere also still sticking up from the metal, and beside the tube lay a ruined chair. The Gladers had caught one of the guards and Dr. Sonya and were now holding them down. My legs felt wobbly and I had to lean on newt and Thomas for support because the oxygenation in my limps had been completely cut off. But with every step I took the blood came rushing back and I knew it would only be a couple of minutes before they were fully functional again. Maybe a bit more time before the wobbly effect died out though.

"You," I rasped; my voice hoarse like sandpaper and full of spider web as I pointed at Dr. Sonya.

Dr. Sonya looked equally terrified and outraged.

"It was necessary," she spluttered in defense.

"How on Earth could this be necessary?" Newt demanded to know. "To bloody asphyxiate a teenage girl!"

"Slim it Newt," Thomas said. His jaw was set and he looked just as angry as I´d ever seen him, but he kept himself under control.

"It was the optimal solution," the doctor said, now shaking with fear. "It was decided to get something useful out of her because she was never meant to make it to the next phase."

Winston cleared his throat.

"What exactly is the next phase," he asked.

The doctor took a short artists break before answering us.

"The scorch trials," she said, sounding very dystopic.

"The scorch trials," Minho repeated. "Well, that sounds like a hell of a lot of fun, but no thanks." Then he spoke to us. "I say we get out of here immediately before those other shuck faces come and arrest us again."

Flares

My feet dragged across the hard ground, hurting like they´d been walking to hell and back in high heels. I looked up, the movement sending pain through my neck and down my spine. I´d been walking for twenty hours straight, I knew that because the sun had just dived down behind the horizon and now the light was fading quickly. I had to stop to rest, but I also knew that the pain would be so much worse tomorrow.

Never in my life had I felt this kind of abandonment and loneliness.

I skidded to a stop, leaning my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. Sweat was covering every inch of my body and I could taste blood in my throat.

With a groan I let my backpack fall down on the ground in the direction I was heading for and almost lost footing when sitting down myself. Dust twirled up as I sat and got in my eyes. I tried to stretch out my limps but every part of my body hurt, and it was not looking forward to spending another night on a stone bed.

I took my boots and socks off and began to inspect the three new blisters I´d gotten today. Two of them looked ready to burst. I quickly put my socks back on, not having the guts to do more medical work tonight. God knows I was terrible at it.

There were only a few granola bars left and a very questionable orange. I wanted the orange so badly, but the last thing I needed was food poisoning, so with a sad look I threw it as far away from me as I had the strength to.

I ate two bars and downed a few gurgles of water, my can suddenly feeling dangerously light.

Not good, I thought, not bothering to waste my energy on talking.

I lay down on the ground, shaking uncontrollably. My body needed food and therefore I was freezing, but I dared not eat the last bar. I didn´t know how far to the nearest shelter, and definitely how long there was to my next meal. So I saved it, even though my stomach felt like an empty pit.

I began wondering if there would even be a next meal for me, but I then realized I could not afford to think like that, especially if I wanted to see Newt again.

Newt. Tears filled my eyes as I thought of him, the way he laughed and the way he looked at me like I was the best thing that ever happened to this shuck world.

I got down in fetal position, hugging myself and shivering, my eyes filled with water and tears streamed down my face. And before I knew I was sobbing hard, not knowing how to stop.

I tasted salt and thought of an insignificant piece of information – that you shouldn´t drink saltwater because it just made you more dehydrated and thirsty.

And then I realized that it did no good wasting water on crying.

So I turned on my back, my shoulders screaming in response and causing me to gasp and lie completely still till the pain was gone.

I just kept lying there, not daring to think, my eyes so tired I could barely keep them open. I didn´t cry anymore, I just stared up into the void above me, wishing for stars to come and light up the darkness. And before I knew it, I drifted away into a deep dreamless sleep.

I awoke what felt like only a few hours later. The darkness had grown thicker around me and it took me a few moments to actually know where I´d put my bag pack.

Wind was messing with my hair, sending a chill down my stomach that gave me goosebumps, but I didn´t freeze nearly as much as last night. I tried moving my arm, getting it warmed up. Then the other, then my legs.

When I´d gotten the worst of the stiffness out I couldn´t think of anything to delay me anymore, but I didn´t want to run around not knowing if I was even running towards something, let alone in the dark.

I knew I had to get up and continue my journey while I had the coolness of the night on my side. I just couldn´t, despair raged in my body and tears threatened to burst out again. I took a few rasping breaths to calm myself, wishing so badly for a light, a sign, anything that I wasn´t alone in the universe, considering the possibility that this might be the end for me.

Just as I was about to accept that I was deemed to walk this dessert until I died, something enlightened the sky, illuminating my face like the world was actually sending me a thought.

I watched in awe as the flare shot over the sky, roving on and on, longer than I´d thought a flare could go, making a perfect bow above me before finally coming to a halt and disappear.

I was in shock, did that really happen or was it my imagination? Had I caught the flare and was going crazy? Or was there someone out there, someone signaling to me that they´re here too? No matter what, I was so thankful for that small flash. Someone´s out there, I told myself, sending out flares.

I hadn´t realized that I´d lifted myself up on my hands, and now I stood up, not taking my eyes of the spot the light had burned out.

I tore my gaze away to look out into the horizon to where the flare had come. It was only a few degrees east of where I´d originally been headed, but judging by the distance I deemed it to be away, it didn´t take a genius to calculate that we´d never have met if they hadn´t sent it out.

Kind of ironic, I thought. That the disease the flare was what got me and the rest of the Gladers and group B into this in the first place, and now a real flare might be my salvation. A small part of me thought it might be wicked, trying to persuade me to come this way and maybe walk right into a trap with lots of cranks or grievers or worse, but I couldn´t afford not to go. I knew there was someone out there, and just that was enough to fill every inch of me with hope.

Without feeling the soreness that exploded inside me, I put on my boots and bag pack, tied it tight around me and headed for the liftoff point.

Time stretched into a vast definition, I jogged most of the way, and every time I wanted to come to a halt and rest my legs, I gritted my teeth knowing that if I stopped, I´d probably would not be able to get up again.

Another flare was sent up just before dawn and I swore that it had come closer. I told myself that I could feel the smoak in my eyes and sparks raining down on me giving me a small burst of energy.

Dawn turned to heavy day and I pulled out my sheet to cover me from the burning sun, knowing that I could no way pull off running all day in that warmth. I promised myself that I would get up in speed again as soon as night fell, even though I kept on debating with myself that I didn't need to. My brain told me Yes; yes you need to. My body of course protested No-no; just lie down a second, you´ll be fine.

I ate my last bar and drank the rest of my water. I kept the bottle though, with the reason that if I came to a place with water I´d be a fool not to be able to take some with me.

My stomach hurt and I kept on licking my dry lips hoping there´s be lip balm where I was headed.

When the air got chilly again and dusk settled, I packed my sheet away and told myself I had to run again. But I couldn´t make my legs work anymore. I stopped, just breathe.

My hair was dripping with sweat and I felt itchy all over. My fingers buzzed with numbness and when I looked at them I saw that they were shaking. No more energy. Just needing a minute, my body said. Don´t be a fool, my brain argued. You´re going to die out here.

A minute! my body snapped.

But then another flare was sent up, so close I could almost hear the sizzling sound of it, reminding me of a New Year's Eve´s racket.

With the last of my will I got my legs to move again, jogging forward. I was so close now.

Then, after a few hours, I saw something in the distance, a small bunch of shadows only a shade darker than the night. First I thought it was just my mind playing tricks on me, but no. Relieve filled my chest even though I didn´t have the energy to keep the emotion. The people were moving but slowly, like they were all tired.

Then I realized it wasn´t just any bunch of people – it was the buggin´ Gladers!

A sudden burst of happiness filled my empty stomach and sent out energy to my body, adrenaline and anticipation kicked in and gave me the last push to move faster, faster.

"Hey," I tried yelling, but my voice was hoarse and unused for what felt like forever. I coughed, and then I yelled again, louder this time.

"Newt!" I screamed.

The Gladers stopped; I could almost make out a few individual silhouettes – Minho, Thomas and another one who stepped forward.

Newt.

"Newt!" I screamed again, tears trickling down my cheeks.

"Summer!" I heard from the distance and I saw him surge forward, running faster than I´d ever experienced him running before. I used my last energy, pushing off the ground, stumbling forward, and then he was there, right in front of me.

I hit him with so much force it knocked the remaining air out of both of us.

I threw my arms around him, suddenly crying hard, feeling his warmth and the security of his arms around me.

"Newt," I whispered, not able to say anything else.

"You´re okay," he mumbled into my shoulder, burying his face in my hair. "You´re okay."

I let him hold me, leaning on his support and relying on him to keep me upright, hearing his heartbeat through his shirt. Everything that had kept me going vaporized like water in the heat, and I thought I was about to faint. For the first time in forever I felt like I could justify to just shut off.

Newt pulled away and looked at me, his brown eyes searching me for injuries, grazing my tear-stained cheek.

Then he kissed me, so passionately that I thought I was going to shatter.

"You´re okay," he repeated when he broke of and put his forehead to mine. I just nodded, not able to say anything else.

Then the others were over me – a blur of familiar faces; Thomas hugging me tight, Minho looking a little guiltily but otherwise happy enough that I was there, Frypan banging me on the back and saying stuff like: "Dang, gurl, you did fiiine."

But it was all too much suddenly. After five days of starving and thirsting, my brain was finally closing down and my body giving up. I felt my fingers tingle like they were asleep and dark spots pirouetted in front of me.

"Summer?" Thomas asked his voice filled with concern. So many were touching me; wanting to actually know that I was unwounded, that I was here.

"You guys have water?" I asked to try and lighten the mood, then with a weak smile I felt my knees buckle under me and all of a sudden the earth came rushing towards my face. I didn´t care anymore, but I heard outbursts of surprise and shouts, hands grabbing me before I hit the ground and Newt persistently calling my name before darkness swallowed me whole.