This 'story' will have 7 chapters, each chapter being one character's perspective on the incidents in volume 5, The Crimone Gardens story. (My favourite book) They will all make sense separately but I figured it would be rather fun to read them all together and it allows me to explore writing each one in character.
Oh, and unlike everything else this isn't yaoi. Scary huh? I will just draw from what is said in the manga…some of which is almost yaoi so don't despair!
So you know what's coming or can skip forward easily the chapter will (most likely) be as follows:
Blame – Cain
Innocence – Mary Weather
Denial – Jizabel
Shame – Riff
Duty – Oscar
Loss – Cassian
Reality – Alexis
Off we go.
Blame
A door is shut and footsteps tread lightly over to a desk. A book is brought out of the cupboard, leather bound and old. There is a clink of an ink bottle and a long, drawn out sigh. The writing begins.
Time for another entry, lord knows I need time to think.
It pains me to think that for a moment, I could have lost everything that night. I had been extremely lucky not to lose anything at all which is more than a little unsettling – since when have I ever been the lucky type?
I suppose though, I did lose something. In a way. My eyes have finally been opened where Mary is concerned. And….it hurts I suppose. I should have been stricter with her, more firm. I shouldn't have let Oscar anywhere near her, the big blundering buffoon…
But no, who am I kidding? I'm not angry because of her, she had every right to want to go. If it had been a normal event then I would probably have taken her. And I'm not really angry at Oscar either, although he should have known better, he was the one to save her….but she wouldn't have been in danger if it wasn't for him.
Forget that, I am angry at Oscar. But he did his best so until he does something else that's undeniably stupid I will hold back. I shouldn't have to wait for long.
The Crimone Gardens….while I was up in that room I was in danger. Of course I was. But looking back I can't help feeling guilty – while Riff and I were dealing with the devil, we allowed his work to carry on outside. Thousands have died. Thousands. I presume that many were children, like Mary. Children, mothers, lovers…a perfect night out. Perhaps some of them were killed instantly? That would have been okay, surely. They had bad lives, might have come from the slums and dying while perfectly happy could be seen as a blessing. No. Whichever way you look at it, that night was tragic. All because of one mans hate for the lower classes. I truly despair of this country sometimes.
Anyway, on to happier matters. If I think about the loss anymore my brain will melt. Riff is doing fine, he isn't angry at all that I had had to hit him. Well, if he is angry he doesn't show it and that's good too – a good butler should always be in control of his emotions. A good butler wouldn't have allowed himself to be captured though. God, what is wrong with me this evening? Placing blame on everyone except the one person that really deserves it.
Gladstone. I have met a lot of really awful people in my time but he makes my skin crawl more than anything. So much hate, so much anger….he was like an animal. What he did to that poor boy is unforgivable. Why is it that Delilah insists on torturing boys? Emile, Leroy…myself. Even the doctor has a boy running around with him. My father of course would have to be giving permission for all of this….and he must know how it plagues me.
Oh, I said I was to talk of happy matters didn't I? Back to Riff then. Strange that I always turn to Riff in times like this. If it wasn't so late I would wake him but my days of needing comfort in the middle of the night are…I was going to say 'long gone' but they're not – the days of my going and asking for comfort in the middle of the night are long gone. Riff would always be there, when I asked. He is still there for me now, I know it. I won't go to him. Grown men don't do things like that. The world outside is so insane, I must at least try and preserve normality in here, for Mary's sake.
The candle is burning out. I suppose that means I won't be sleeping much again tonight. Never mind, I wouldn't enjoy sleeping too long anyway. Recently there have been nightmares….flames, blood, the smell of wine…and Mary crying….
Crimone Gardens, it always returns to Crimone Gardens. The Precious Garden. The place where I almost lost three of the people most precious to me in this world and the place where a precious life was ended.
There is no use in thinking about it, is there? I will only upset myself again. Tomorrow is another day. I will take Mary shopping tomorrow, maybe ask Riff to get the cooks to make us sandwiches. I do hope the weather will be nice….and we can have a normal day.
Let me end this wretched night with one simple wish – that this house remains a sanctuary for…well, for me. A selfish wish. I think I deserve one by now.
Cain.
The book is deposited into the drawer and the figure climbs into a tall bed. The soft sounds of sleep soon echo throughout the large room. And the house slumbers on.
