Note :This is something I wrote very rapidly the other day and... it's not exactly great literature. More... crack :)

It has two parts; I'll post part 2 tomorrow (if I remember to)

Genre: Humour/Crack

Spoilers: Season 6 episode 6 and everything before!

Summary: McGee wants to find out why Vance has been so nice to him lately.

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: NCIS = not mine. I do not make money writing this fanfiction.

Chapter 1

Like many of his predecessors, Director Wantz was a man shrouded in mystery, whose complex personality was easy to misconstrue. He often appeared holding a toothpick between his blindingly white teeth, which gave the false impression of a laid-back demeanor. For even when there was a smile on his face, his eyes always remained deeply serious. The true foundations of his character could be found in his professionalism, his work ethic and his deeply rooted attachment in serving the agency's best interests.

In terms of methods, he and agent Tibbs were like night and day. But both had in common a strong sense of justice, and when they worked together in that name, driven by the same force, they formed a powerful alliance that nothing could stop.

With McGregor, Director Wantz shared an extensive knowledge of computer programming, a tendency to be easily annoyed by Agent Tommy, and an unhealthy obsession with paper shredding. Were those common interests the reason for the respect Director Wantz seemed to treat the young agent with? McGregor did not know. One thing was certain, though: for someone whose work environment had only ever been composed of Tommy's mockery, Liza's dryness, Amy's rejection and Tibbs's disdain, Wantz's attitude was rather refreshing. But McGregor had to admit that it also was, on occasion, quite unsettling, not to mention embarrassing - McGregor would rather have nobody care about him than suffer Tommy's constant teasing about being the "director's pet".

"Somebody get McGregor a new pair of shoes," ordered Wantz as he stepped over the shoes superglued to the floor on his way out of Amy's lab.

McGregor threw a nervous look at his coworkers, hoping that none of them had heard the director.

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"THE SHOES!" yelled McGee as he started awake. He stretched slightly and brought a hand to his neck, wincing. He had fallen asleep at his writing table again. Looking at the last page he had typed, he sighed heavily. He had been trying to get past this part of the story for a week now, but he was still blocked at the same point. McGee could tell that the problem came from the character of Director Wantz; he just seemed to be unable to point out what was wrong.

He just acts really strange around McGregor, thought McGee as he leafed pensively through the chapters written since Director Wantz had appeared. The pages were full of sentences such as "Go home, McGregor," or "That's a great job, McGregor".

He does not act like a Director, he acts like... a stalker.

McGee paled as he realized what the book - what his subconscious- had been trying to tell him all this time.

Director Vance was not being nice. He was stalking McGee.

"Oh boy," McGee swore aloud. Why hadn't he realized sooner? He could clearly remember the last time he had had a stalker. Abby had almost been killed, and the entire team had almost killed him in return. He could not let that happen again.

Determined to solve this immediately, he grabbed his coat and his car keys, and left for the Navy Yard. If Vance was stalking him, then McGee was going to confront him about it.