Author's note: OK, so I decided to write a prequel to Ganondorf Ballet and came up with this. Still working on the sequel to it, just looking for the perfect 1970/80 love song ;) That's the clue you'really getting for the sequel. It includes a dreadful love song. So, anyway, enjoy the making fun of Ganondorf!


The girl snuck down the corridors, occasionally peering into a room to see if she could find her "brother". She had something very important to tell him. Eventually she did find him, sitting with his back to her in his study. Nim grinned and stepped into the room without knocking, sitting on the corner of his desk and crossing her arms as she peered at what he was working on. Some sort of idea how to take Hyrule.

"What do you want, Nim?" Ganondorf asked, rather grumpily. Perfect. He was having trouble with his planning. She shrugged.

"Well, I had read something that I thought would be able to help you with your plotting and scheming, but clearly you don't want to hear it..." She said, pretending to be slightly disappointed as she stood up to leave the room, "Your loss though." She had just reached the door when Ganondorf called out to her.

"What is it?" He asked, turning around in his chair to look at her. A smirk grew on Nim's face, gone just before she turned around.

"You sure you want to know?"

"Quit dancing around the bush, Nim."

"Of course, Your Highness," Nim bowed extravagantly, grinning as she stood up straight, "Apparently, you're 80% more likely to succeed in one of your exploits if you dance a ballet while you're planning it or conducting it." Her face was serious, but Ganondorf knew that when she wanted to be she was a fantastic liar.

"Well, that's bull shit."

"No, no! It's true! Even ask Ren. I assure you, it's true." Ganondorf's eyes narrowed and he stood up, towering over Nim.

"If you're lying to me..." He threatened. Nim smiled innocently.

"Now why would I be doing that, dear brother?" She asked. Ganondorf didn't bother answering. Both of them already knew the answer, so there wasn't much point in saying it out loud.

"Get me a tutor." He growled. Nim grinned.

"No need. I'd be glad to help you out." Ganondorf snorted.

"You, dancing?"

"Your mums made me do some strange things." Nim didn't sound too happy about it, but perhaps all that torture was paying off after all this time. Finally, a shot at revenge.


"Raise your leg more! And keep your back straight!" Nim called as she relaxed against the wall, sipping at her nice, cool cocktail. Someone walked up behind her and she turned to look at Ren, who was looking confused and mildly horrified.

"What is Ganny doing?" She asked.

"Learning ballet."

"Why the hell would he want to do that?"

"Haven't you heard?" Nim asked, acting shocked, "You're 80% more likely to succeed at one of your exploits if you do ballet while planning or conducting it."

"What sort of bull shit is that?" Ren asked.

"Bull shit that's making the king of thieves look like an idiot," Nim grinned, "Don't you dare tell him, or I will freeze you." Ren scowled. She hated Nim when she did that. Being frozen to the spot wasn't fun, and you got cramp so quickly. Or an itchy nose. It was highly probable that Nim actually caused both of those things, just to make your life even more hell. She was just that kind of person. Just at that moment Ganondorf fell flat on his face and Ren couldn't hold back the laughter, almost collapsing in a fit on the ground. Sure, she still wasn't sure how she felt about this, but Nim was right. It was making Ganondorf look like an idiot. Nim just grinned.

"You need to keep your balance! If you fail this badly, I suspect your exploits will be 30% more likely to fail."

"I don't see you trying this!" Ganondorf snapped as he stood up.

"Is that a challenge?" Nim asked, eyebrows raised. Ganondorf glared at her and motioned to the training yard.

"The stage is yours." He growled, stepping back as Nim pushed herself from her chair, handing her cocktail over to Ren to hold. As she stepped up to her mark, music started playing out of nowhere. It was identifiable as Swan Lake. Soon the red-head was dancing gracefully in time to the music, even beginning to make Ganondorf join in, teaching him more moves. Soon he was almost (not quite) as graceful as Nim, though he was still tripping up at times. Nim glanced at Ren and winked, stepping back out of Ganondorf's sight and moving her hand ever so slightly, pale pink sparkles slipping out of her finger tips and gathering around the big man, who had his eyes closed... as though he was in bliss. Ren almost fell over laughing again as a puffy, frilly dress formed around Ganondorf and his boots were replaced with dainty slipped. Nim chuckled to herself and slowly started speeding the music up, which in turn made Ganondorf speed up. He opened his eyes in a panic and froze when he saw the tutu, turning and glaring at Nim.

"How dare you?" He demanded.

"You suit it." Nim replied, perfectly straight faced. His eyes narrowed and he danced over to Nim. She almost burst out laughing, but she managed to contain her mirth and simply looked politely interested.

"I don't like wearing dresses." He hissed in her ear, his feet still moving in time to the music.

"That doesn't mean you don't suit it. Maybe you should have some makeup with that?" She asked, and she waved her hand. Immediately, clown make up appeared on Ganondorf's face – not that he could see it – and Nim had to cover her mouth.

"This is wrong! Nim!" Ren could hardly catch her breath and Nim thought for a moment.

"You're right. He won't succeed in conquering Hyrule as a clown. Perhaps... yes, I think so." She waved her hand again and Ganondorf found himself in a Barbie pink tutu and dainty, almost Zelda-esk makeup. She grinned proudly and conjured a mirror out of no where, holding it up for Ganondorf to look at himself in.

"Your mums would be so proud." She said, pretending to wipe an emotional tear from her eye. Ganondorf growled and slammed her up against a wall, putting his face close to hers.

"Put me back to normal, right now." He hissed, rather menacingly. Him shrugged as best she could.

"Hey, you'll be able to beat Link now. I can't see anyone wanting to challenge you like this." She said. Ganondorf frowned and Ren's jaw dropped.

"Ganny, you can't seriously be thinking about it?" She asked as Ganondorf let go of Nim. He slowly turned to face her and she covered her mouth, trying hard not to burst out laughing or show that she was vaguely disturbed.

"Why not? She has a point. Perhaps this ballet fact is true after all." Even Nim's jaw fell open at this, but it was quickly replaced with a grin. Oh, this was a good day.


Ps: I don't own Ren. My friend does. I'm just borrowing her because I recon that she suited this piece. Hope you enjoyed, despite it having a little less humour :) See ya round!