Connections

The Normandy wasn't necessarily silent in the absence of most of her crew.

The hum of her engines and life support systems bled together until it was little more than a constant hum; the mass effect core could be heard on every deck towards the aft pumping away almost like the sound of a piston of an internal combustion engine. Computer monitors let out the occasional sound as he passed them. He could even hear air cycling through the vents.

All of these noises seemed to amplify the lack of crewmen and women at their posts as John Shepard toured the ship in the final hours before they arrived at the Omega-4 Relay and made their assault on the Collector base.

After his talk with Joker and checking in once more with Jacob and Mordin he'd left CIC minutes ago, almost depressed by the silence, he could hear Joker and EDI bickering in the bridge all the way from the elevator, he'd never noticed the constant chatter between Crewman Hadley and Crewman Matthews or how much he'd enjoyed Yeoman Chamber's smile and pleasant conversation.

He stopped by deck four first, Zaeed and Grunt were gone and he had a brief talk with Jack. He found Legion and Tali were hard at work in Engineering making last second adjustments to their systems but the deck seemed almost soulless without the bantering between Ken and Gabby.

On Deck Three, he found Zaeed, Thane, Garrus and Grunt in the Main Battery. The mercenary and the turian were regaling each other with thrilling tales of combat and adventure while the tank-born krogan listened with rapt attention. Krios was even enjoying the rare (for him) moment of camaraderie. He left the three of them with a chuckle at Grunt's child-like wonder as Zaeed told him how he'd taken out a batarian patrol with no more than an assault rifle and a broken boot knife.

The expression really brought it home that Grunt was only a few weeks old and despite his prowess in battle, at times he was little more than a child.

He received a surprise as he passed through the mess, Jack was pacing in front of Miranda's office, he stopped and caught eyes with the biotic prodigy. The tattooed woman actually flushed at being caught out. He gave her a reassuring smile and it seemed to help her gather her courage. She allowed her ever-present smirk stretch her lips then said, "Fuck it."

She hit the button and when the doors parted before her she disappeared inside. He took a few steps towards the office and when he didn't hear signs of a fight he continued towards the elevator…

Only to find another surprise, this time it was Jacob at Kasumi's door flirting with the master thief. He supposed it was "only par for the course" as his mother was always saying; she'd been flirting with the Cerberus Operative nearly from the moment she set foot on the Normandy. Still he found the whole situation funny, considering his very, very awkward conversation with Mordin a few days ago about stress and "human pair-bonding."

He was just about to step into the elevator and head up to his quarters to write a letter to his mother and Councilor Anderson when his eyes landed on the door to Starboard Observation. The last time he was in there he'd admitted to Samara that he cared for her and wished to pursue a relationship with her.

It didn't go as well as he'd hoped; she refused him and left nearly in tears. He hadn't stopped in to talk to her since, frankly he felt more than a little embarrassed in the face of her rejection. It was strange; he was no stranger to women. He'd had plenty of relationships from the strictly casual to women he'd have happily married and everything in between, but still… rejection stung.

It stung his pride and it did it every time.

Without realizing it, he'd walked away from the elevator and now stood directly in front of her door with his fingers just a hair's breadth from activating the control. When his mind caught up with the situation his finger shot out and the door parted before him.

She sat in the middle of the darkened room, the light from the corridor behind him the starlight and the pale blue light of the biotic field she manipulated were all glinting off the black of her uniform. Even from behind she was the picture of serenity, for just a moment.

Just for a moment, because she stiffened noticeably when she felt his presence in her sanctum. He frowned and stepped fully into the room. The door closed behind him and left the light in the room muted and blue. He felt comforted by the darkness wrapping around them, he'd grown up on starships and space stations, and silvery starlight was far more familiar to him than the bright glare of midday planetside.

He took a deep breath and plunged ahead without any verbal acknowledge of his presence from the Justicar. "I am sorry that I hurt you." The only evidence that she was listening was that she released her biotic field but didn't turn. He swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to speak more firmly, "However, that's all I'm sorry for."

This time she did turn, impossibly wide and impossibly blue eyes shot right through him and he could tell she almost dreaded the words he spoke. "I care for you, Samara. I'm sure you wished that I didn't and I know you don't want me to say it, but I have to.

"Ten years ago, I was a freshly commissioned officer on our colony at Elysium." He wasn't sure what possessed him to talk about the Skyllian Blitz but he couldn't seem to stop himself, "Batarian pirates attacked the colony and caught our troops flat-footed and most of my unit was killed. I managed to rally the survivors and a group of civilians and we mounted a defense. I promised all those I lost under my command that I'd do better from then on.

"When I was hunting Saren, I grew to care for someone. I even grew to love her, but on Virmire I had to make a choice… and she died without ever knowing how I felt. I promised Ashley that I would do better."

He'd been looking out the window lost in painful memories so he hadn't noticed Samara get to her feet and approach him until he felt her fingers graze his. For the second time, he found tears in her expressive eyes. "John…"

He was as shocked by the things he was saying as she seemed to be, he'd never been one to let his mouth work independently of his brain but it seemed that his mouth had decided that these were things he needed to say to her. "I spent most of these last few weeks trying to make sure that each of you can face death without any regrets, well if I had gone through the Omega-4 relay and died without telling you that I loved you I would have regretted it."

She squeezed his fingers gently and reassuringly and her reply came out in a reverent whisper, "I had vowed never again to care for someone like this so long ago." Pale blue lips stretched into a smile, "I have lived by The Code for four centuries at peace with that decision. By no stretch of the imagination are you the first being to tempt me but…"

Her cheeks were stained purple and he quickly realized she was blushing, "But, you've been the most persistent." She brought his hand up and grasped it with both of hers between them. She then lifted his hand to her lips and pressed a kiss to his knuckles, "Also, the most convincing. Sit with me John, let us enjoy one moment of peace together before we walk into fire."

She led him over to one of the couches and sat him down before she sat next to him and leaned against his side. He brought his arm up and around her shoulders and held her there and he enjoyed the warmth that spread through him as she nestled into his side. They sat quietly until Joker paged him to let him know they made the final jump into the Sahrabarik system and were a half an hour out from the Omega-4 relay.

John turned to the asari next to him and she leaned up and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. She pulled away a reassuring smile before her face turned resolute and all business. They left her quarters and got into the elevator where she pressed the controls for deck two and deck one. After the short ride the doors opened onto the CIC but before she could exit the life he spoke, "I'm going to get my gear on, I'll be back."

She nodded, "Of course. We have no way of knowing whether or not we will face combat on the other side of the relay. I will wait for you on the Bridge."

He nodded in return, "Don't let Joker annoy you too much."

She then grinned slightly, "Shepard, if your pilot annoys me, I shall simply educate him on politeness. Should that lesson require a display of biotics is entirely up to him."

The doors closed and John's laughter bounced off the elevators walls back at him.

-End-