Title: Fond Wishes, Voldemort
Author: Kamquat Banana
Summary: The Dark Lord vents his frustrations and sorrows into a letter addressed to a certain Headmaster. Parody, one-shot, AU and all that jazz.
A/N: Just something I needed to do; partly to reassure readers of my other stories that I am, indeed alive. Enjoy?
Disclaimer: Don't. Own. Anything.
People say there's no human left in me. They're wrong. Underneath these twisted layers and warped views beats the heart of a living being, complete with emotions and sensations, just like any other.
People say I'm evil. But who are they to judge? How can we label anyone completely "good" or "bad", without first walking a mile in their footsteps? I've made a few, shall we say, controversial decisions, and perhaps my values do not mirror those of you or your precious Order. Yet does that truly make me a wicked, villainous being, worthy of no compassion? I think not. I hope not.
Sometimes I just get so… lonely, you know?
It's not easy being the sodding Dark Lord. Minions to oversee, nefarious plans to put in place, and above all, the shadow of the bloody Boy-Who-Lived hanging over everything I do; clouding my judgment. I cannot be expected to do my job and be taken seriously with some teenage brat swaggering around saying he's taken on You-Know-Who and lived. It's not exactly my cup of tea, but somebody's got to get rid of the little horror before he seriously destroys my reputation.
You understand, surely? You understand the pressure that comes with the entire wizarding world watching your every move, looking to you for leadership of some kind? People say we're enemies, but we're not so unalike, you and I.
We're just doing the best we can.
I miss you, Albus. I'm sorry we were never able to put our differences aside and have a good long chat – perhaps over lunch, with some of those delightful lemon drops I assume you still carry around.
Sorry for, you know, all this.
Fond Wishes,
Voldemort, Dark Lord.
A/N: -coughs- Yes. Well, I like it, as far as weird little one-shots go. Not to be taken at all seriously :3.
