Ace of the Black Knights. That's what most people knew her as, anyway. It was what she was considered while on the battlefield, it was one of her nicknames. The only problem was that nobody saw her as Kallen Kozuki, but just as the ace. The ace that was always by Zero's side, the ace that never left for whatever foolish reason there was out there. She hated it, she detested it, and she wished for all of it to end.
Kallen Kozuki was headstrong. She always frowned upon things she wanted but she never got. She was always the jealous type, and she never backed down to a challenge. She knew it was going to hurt her in the end, but she couldn't be bothered with that. It was the fact that she was adventurous, willing, and determined that made her that way. It was her primary downfall, and the thing that made her what she was.
Kallen Kozuki was a fighter. She was a fighter for redemption. She had a reason to fight, and she wasn't afraid to show her real colors. That was the thing, almost nobody knew who she really was.
Despite everything she did for the Black Knights, she would always be seen as the ace. Q-1, as Zero liked to call her while on the battlefield. She was always there, but she was never a part of the foreground. She could've been standing right next to the demon himself, and nobody would give her any recognition. It was destined upon her, she supposed. It wasn't like it was anything new to her.
She had gotten used to the fact that she would probably be pushed aside whenever the Black Knights were brought up. It was always Zero, Zero, Zero. Never any of the primary members. She didn't mind it, but she enjoyed some recognition for what she was.. Who she was.
A fighter for Japan's redemption. Rebellion against Britannia to get their country back. They weren't Elevens, they were Japanese. It was almost as if the Britannians criticized them for who they were solely because their country had been taken over. They were then Numbers. It wasn't Japan, it was Area 11. It was her brother, Naoto Kozuki, who had started it all. He was the one who started the rebellion.
And Zero just went along with it. The man behind the mask wished to crush Britannia for all that it was worth. And so he gathered up the freedom fighters into a group that he led.. The Order of the Black Knights. She was a part of that group. She almost had no choice. She wanted her own honor restored back to what it once was.. She would do anything to be considered Japanese instead of an Eleven.
The thoughts that were built up in her head made her wince. She stood up to her full height and straightened herself. She had done enough thinking for the time being. There were other more important things to do. She was the ace after all..
Kallen stopped herself for a moment and looked down, her eyebrows knitting together in concern and in curiosity. Perhaps.. No. She couldn't bring herself to even believe it. That possibility in the back of her mind would never come to be true. She had to face that fact.. But..
Was it all worth it? The useless fighting.. All of the bloodshed.. All of those dead bodies.. Was it worth it?
She started to question herself. Was it all for nothing? Or did it actually have some sort of meaning in the end? She almost felt as if she couldn't trust Lelouch. She had been assured before that there was no way that a mistake could be made. She had even vowed to him that she would forever be his ace..
She was starting to question all of it. Her time as being the ace, her time as being a part of the Black Knights, the position she was in.. Was it possible that she could just throw it all away and start anew?
Of course. That was a stupid question. The possibility of turning away from Zero and the Black Knights was always there. Hell, she could even break off and turn her back on Japan if she wanted to. But she had her brother's motive in mind, and she couldn't just let go of that.. It wasn't that easy.
Her lips upturned into a scowl as she continued to saunter down the long hallway. The possibilities were endless. If she were to turn on the Black Knights, she would've done that months ago. They were slowly getting to their height.. But it would fall just as quickly as it came. Kallen, being as prideful as she was, would be honored to be apart of the height. That was probably the only reason she was staying exactly where she was.. She even allowed herself to be pushed around like a lonely soul in a mindless swarm of people on a busy street.
Why she tolerated any of that was beyond her. She obeyed orders without speaking her mind about them. It was just her first instinct. She couldn't go against Zero's orders unless she wished to be looked down upon. She had been told before that her ideas were always welcomed, but.. She found it all to be pointless. Her opinions were never put into the final plans. And she was okay with that. She was okay with being pushed around, she was okay with all of the orders that she was given every single day..
She was okay with it all when she shouldn't have been.
Every different move that Kallen made was going against her in the end. There was no way out of failure. It was almost as if she were condemned to this life of.. ultimate solitude. Was that the right way to put it? She didn't quite know. There was always a possibility.. That slight little possibility..
No. She immediately pushed that aside as her scowl was replaced with a plastic smile. She held it up as she walked by other fellow Black Knights, who seemed as if they couldn't break through the façade she had put up. It was typical of all of them. The only person who could see right through her like stainless glass was Lelouch. Lelouch was the one who knew when something was up, Lelouch was the one who could make her feel.. decently better. Everyone else was just a road block, only building upon the sorrow or the anger.
Once she had gotten past all of her comrades, the smile broke back into a frown. She pulled her black and gray jacket on and moved in silence. Her eyes had a lot to reveal about her – what she was thinking, how she felt, and so much more. There was just too much in her eyes to pick out one certain thing.
Anger. Sorrow. Hatred. Confusion. Frustration. Confidence. Determination. Failure. Wisdom. Love. Freedom. Peace. Hope. Difference. Darkness.
It was all there. Kallen herself had figured that out long ago. She gave up in trying to mask all of her emotions in front of everyone, because she knew that there was that one person who could see through her as if she were transparent. It was pointless to continue trying when she was going to be the odd one out every single time.
A rattle in her pocket jolted her from her thoughts and she reached for her phone, flipping it open with a flick of her thumb. "Hello?" she asked, keeping her calm and cool composure as she always tried to do.
"Q-1. Are you ready for the assault?"
The voice made her pause for a moment, considering things. She opened her mouth to speak, but in the end, she shut her eyes and nodded to herself quietly. "Yes. I'm on my way to the Guren now."
"Before anything, I expect you in my quarters in five minutes."
Kallen took another pause, and her eyes snapped open before narrowing. What was he up to? She pressed her lips together in thought before the line went dead, a blank ring blaring through her ear. She snapped her phone shut and slipped it away again before turning on her heel, eyebrows knitting together in confusion.
If anything, she figured that he just wanted to talk to her about the upcoming ambush on the Glaston Knights. Of course, there were other things that could possibly be on his mind.. She figured that it was either strategy, things on his mind, or making sure that she was okay.
Who was she kidding? She was fine the way she was. Perhaps she had a lot on her mind and too much to think about, but that didn't mean she wasn't okay..
Almost immediately, she brushed by Tamaki who was too busy talking to himself about the ambush to notice that she wasn't looking as "happy" as usual. She was thankful for that, and she quickly pushed past him. She didn't want anyone looking suspicious upon what she was doing, or where she was going-
"Kallen?"
Damn. Too late for that. She stopped dead in her tracks as her gaze lifted to meet Ohgi's. She mustered up a smile and bit her tongue, afraid of what he was going to say. She was sure that he was going to bark at her for not suiting up..
"Why aren't you getting ready for the ambush? We're leaving in fifteen!"
"Zero called me to his quarters. He said he needed to speak to me. I'll be out within no time. Just.. Go on without me for now."
Before she finished what she was saying, Kallen sauntered past him and continued making her way down the hallway. Her pace sped up with every increasing second. She had lost track of time, and she was sure that Lelouch himself was counting off the seconds. He was probably growing impatient, and for that, she frowned to herself. She hated keeping others waiting. It happened too often. Lelouch was one who could be fashionably late with an excuse, but when it came to them together.. It never seemed to work out just as she planned.
A pair of knuckles rapped on the door before it slid open before her. She was a bit surprised that the door wasn't locked. She stepped inside and cleared her throat before finding him on the couch, suited and ready to go. He just wasn't wearing his mask. She paused her stride once she was a few feet away.
"You're one minute and thirty-four seconds late."
"Sorry to displease you." The words rolled off her tongue almost like venom, but a smirk showed the difference.
A soft chuckled echoed off of the walls of the room. Lelouch stood to his full height, his mask in one of his hands. "Nonetheless, I wanted to talk to you about something, Kallen."
"What is it? Ohgi said-"
"I realize that. Fifteen minutes. I only need you here for a quick moment. It's nothing to fret about. It's not like I would demote you or anything. Your skills on the battlefield are incredible."
"Get on with it already. I'm not going to wait all day," she muttered, diverting her gaze away. If he was going to be standing here, spitting out small talk, she was going to turn and leave without hesitation. What caused her to flinch was his piercing stare. She went from stoic to scowling within seconds. It caused him to smirk, almost victoriously.
"Kallen. Answer this for me. If I were to suddenly break down, what would you do?"
She looked back toward him, and into his eyes. She couldn't read anything, and she figured he was hiding something from her. Her lips pressed together in thought, and she folded her arms across her chest tightly. This was something to consider. Would Lelouch ever fall victim to insanity? It was certainly possible, knowing him and what he was like.. But would it ever happen? Would he keep everything in line for as long as he reigned as Zero, or would he let it fall and watch it all shatter like glass before him?
Her answer came to her after what seemed like an eternity of silence.
"I would stay by your side. I have no reason to leave."
Lelouch kept his face blank. He was tempted to have a satisfied grin spread across his lips, but he held it back and nodded in approval. "And what if I decided to pass on the title as Black Demon Zero to someone else? What would you do then? Would you follow him, or would you continue to follow me?"
Blue eyes narrowed. She could feel her fingernails digging into her skin out of anxiety. Something wasn't right. He wouldn't be asking her these questions for no reason. There had to be something behind this that she couldn't see through clear vision. The answer for her was obvious.. Or did Lelouch want her to choose one over the other in his favor?
It was always like him to watch her squirm underneath his grasp. He enjoyed proving her wrong and even irritating her. He enjoyed being right. He basked in the pride, and it only inflated his ego tenfold. She hated it, she detested it, but it was best to see him win all the time. He didn't enjoy losing. And she was well aware of that.
Kallen thought his words over carefully. Time ticked by faster than she thought. She had opened her mouth to speak numerous times, but nothing ever came out. She hadn't noticed that Lelouch was stepping closer to her every time she seemed to be distracted. She didn't notice the smirk forming on his face either.
Eventually, she gave in. She decided to go with her first instinct.
"I would still follow you."
This caught Lelouch by surprised, but he kept his cool. His smirk only widened at her words as if he were expecting her to say that. "Is that so? Even if he were the one to recreate Japan and gain the redemption that it once lost back.."
"I stay loyal to my word. And besides," she said, managing a little smirk of her own. "Nobody can fit the title of Zero as well as you can."
More ego inflation. Just what he needs.
"You're so predictable, Kallen."
Predictable? Her eyes flashed back toward him in an instant. He still had that smug smirk on his face, though it faded as she continued watching for any other mixed emotions. She really wanted to slap him, but she held the temptation back. The reaction she would get from him wouldn't be pleasant. Or so she would think, anyway. Blowing up on her superiors was never a good idea.
"Predictable? Then what am I going to do next?"
Lelouch's grip on his mask tightened. He wiped the smirk off his face and watched her for a moment. Her eyes showed anger and irritation. It was just what he had been aiming for. Anger and irritation was the fuel to her fighting skills out on the battlefield. Fuel her and she was as good as gold. But she was already an incredible fighter nonetheless – she didn't need fueling, but he was always there to supply it nonetheless. He just wasn't sure if she was aware of what he was doing, or if she had figured out what his intent was.
"You're either going to stay here and answer one more question, or you're going to turn your back on me to get ready for the ambush," he spoke simply. His eyes lit up with amusement that was actually visible. He didn't decide to hold it back this time.
Before Kallen could even reply, he spoke up again. "We also have five minutes. Let me ask my final question, and then I'll let you go to prepare yourself."
She scowled and balled her hands into fists. "Go on."
He stepped closer so they were not even an arms-length apart. She lifted her head to look at him in the eye. He was still emotionless for the most part. His voice didn't show anything either. Lelouch didn't want to reveal anything that he would eventually regret. It was bound to happen nonetheless.. But he had the upper hand against Kallen. Every single time. She was just so readable, so predictable.. He had his fun with her. And he never got sick of it. She was just so amusing to him, so entertaining that he would never let her go. He wouldn't be able to anyway, even if he tried.
"Well, Lelouch?" she asked, tapping her foot against the floor. "I'm waiting."
"Tell me, Kallen," he said, his free gloved hand reaching to brush along her jawline. She stayed perfectly still the entire time, attempting to keep a mask up that she knew was useless. He could see straight through it anyway, what was the use? "Will you continue being my ace?"
"What kind of question is that?" she replied immediately, though it was in a calm tone. She didn't want to snap at him, because the reaction was what she was most afraid of.
"A simple one. I want to know if you'll stay by my side or not."
It was obvious as to what the answer was. Lelouch just wanted to hear her say it so he was assured. The possibility of changing over to the Knights of the Round was always there, but what good would that do? She wouldn't fulfill her brother's wish of gaining Japan's redemption back. She would just be helping Britannia, and she would be going against Lelouch in his own game.
No, Kallen would not risk doing that.
His hand continued to trail along her jawline, and she continued to stay frozen. She continued to mull over his words. It was the best to answer with what he wanted her to say. It was just right there, so close that she could almost taste it.
She gave into temptation.
"I'll always be your ace."
A satisfied Cheshire grin stretched across Lelouch's face again, and he pulled his hand back. She stared straight ahead at him, her expression completely blank. What was he trying to gain from this? She couldn't seem to figure it out. It must've been obvious, because he was watching her with that amused fire dancing in his eyes. She backed up a step and glanced away, before deciding to break the silence.
"Why are you asking me the things you already know, Lelouch? Do you just want to assure yourself? Or is it the fact that you just like hearing me say it so you know it's completely set in stone?"
Much to her surprise, Lelouch spoke up quickly.
"You can never be too sure. Of course, I already had figured your answers ahead of time. I wanted to make sure that I was correct. I cannot move forward without my ace.. Therefore, I wanted to get clarification upon the subject. You do realize how much your loyalty means to me.. Right, Kallen?"
"Lelouch.."
"Well?"
"Of course I do, but-"
"That's all I needed to hear. We are to launch any minute now. I suggest you get to your Guren, Q-1."
Kallen was speechless. She didn't know what to say in response to him. As if it were normal, he brushed past her and lifted the fabric of his mouthpiece, shortly putting on his mask afterward. He stepped out of the room in silence, and the silent click of the door shutting jolted her out of her confused reverie.
The explanation behind the reason of the questions was still unclear to her. It made no sense. If he already knew what she was going to say, what use was there in asking?
Kallen didn't want to dwell over it. She would get her answer soon enough, even if she had to force it out of him. She made her way out of the room, bolting down the hallway like a surge of energy. The questions continued to linger in her mind, and she could've sworn that she felt his fingertips linger against her skin again.
I'll be your ace forever.. I don't have any other choice.
