Author's Note; Most of us saw Degrassi; Love Lockdown and the end was confusing, I admit that. Some people think Declan raped Holly J but he clearly didn't. She may have said "no" or "this isn't right" but she could of EASILY pushed him off and left but you see she didn't, so part of her must of wanted to.
Disclaimer; I DO NOT own Degrassi. I usually don't have disclaimers but in this I'm going to quote Degrassi a lot so yes. I sure wish I owned Degraasi for many reasons
1.)Holly J would have wanted Declan and would be with him
2.)Holly J and Declan would be the power couple of the school and nothing could ruin them
3.)Chantay would have been dramatically killed her first appearance.
Deep Down ; A one-shot on Holly J's feelings and thoughts on what happened between her and Declan at the party.
His cool fingers graced upon my shoulder, down my back and through my hair. I nearly jumped at his touch. His lips danced up my shoulder and to my neck. Tears burned in my eyes; making my vision blurry. Making me not able to see what was happening, I felt confused, over-whelmed, and smothered but I like that feeling, I liked it so much that I didn't leave.
"I thought we agreed this wasn't going to happen" I said half-heart attempting to get away as his lips contuniedly moved up to my neck. His breath was hot and when it hit the black pearl necklace on me, I nearly jumped out of my skin of the two temperatures clashing together.
"No" I said, my voice cracking slightly
That simple word slipped out of my mouth and right now from my view it seemed as if it changed everything from that point.
"We shouldn't be doing this," I said hoarsely feeling the heat between us rise. Memories and thoughts and feelings came back. I couldn't decided; did I want this? or would I just regret it?
"c'mon" he gentle voice whispered in my ear and soaked into my brain, he draped my hair on my back. "This is right" he told me but was it?
Was Sav really worth cheating on, was doing this with Declan really what I wanted. The thing is I couldn't decide. With everything that had happened I didn't know where my true feelings were or what they were. I didn't know what love was, after everything I became one of them.
One of those girls who were crazy for loved, they died to have someone that made the feel special and in everyway that was Declan. He lit up a room when he walked in and made my heart rate rise till I felt as if my heart would jump out of my chest any moment and I loved him I truly loved him.
With Sav I felt dangerous like I was disobeying everything and everyone, I told myself it was wrong. I did, a thousand times but not even a strong willed girl like me could restrain me from wanting Sav. He made me feel happy and giddy and loved and at this very moment as Declan is throwing himself at me I realize that I only wanted Sav because deep down I saw a Declan in him.
"You know it is" my chest ached brutally. It was moving up and down rapidly as Declan leaned his head on mine and touched my shoulders and whispered into my ear.
He was right, I knew it was right deep down I knew. But for some reason I couldn't pull myself to tell him that and I couldn't pull myself to leave. I felt glued to the couch and nothing could set me free.
"Please?" his needy voice asked moving my hair away from my face "I love you" he laughed softly kissing my neck again.
'& I love you' I said inside, my feelings were found again. I loved Declan, I knew it, he knew it and even Sav knew it so why did I go through all this trouble to figure that out?
Why you ask? Because I asked for it back in the day I was a bitch; a hardcore B-I-C-T-H. This was simply karma coming to bite me in the ass.
His hand graced my cheek and turned me to face him as he slowly leaned in. My breathing picked up and I felt as if I breathed any longer, my chest would explode. I felt the urge to leave but I couldn't bring myself to because feelings came back and they sure got the best of me.
His expression was filled with need, I felt remorseful that I ended it that I was with Sav when I saw his deep blue eyes staring into mine. His lips graced mine or did mine grace his? We met in the middle; yes that's what happened;
I kissed him because deep down I wanted to.
I had lunch with him because deep down I wanted to
I went to the party because deep down I wanted to
I comforted him because deep down I wanted to
I allowed him to throw himself at me because deep down I wanted to
I let him kiss me and I kissed him back because I wanted to
I slept with him because deep down I wanted to
Deep down I wanted this all; deep down I wanted Declan; even deeper down I would regret this; and even deeper down than that I didn't care
The End .
All though many of you might not agree with what Holly J was feeling but this is how I saw it, so I wrote it. But feel free to tell me what you thought went through Holly J's head (what she felt or who she felt for) or even Declan's for all I care. This is and will remain a one-shot! Sorry but I see no potential for this to become a story. Review Review Review like there is no tomorrow though (:
Much Love, DeclanL0ver13
