IceCrome here! I want everyone to know about the real…horribly sad truth…

ABOUT SANTA CLAUS.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, or the song.

123456789123456789123456789123456789123456789123456789123456789123456789

"Yay Santa brought me the plutonium rod I asked for!" Little Sora replied happily, which made Riku raise his eyebrow in that sexy way.

"What?"

"I mean…Santa got me those square-os I wanted!" (A/N: It's a take off of Lego's.)

"Sora, you still believe in Santa?"

"Uh-huh! Kairi does too!"

"/sigh/ crap…I'm going to have to tell you the real truth about Santa-."

"In Song?"

"Yep." Magically, Sora's house transformed into a stage with a microphone.

BET YOU DID'NT KNOW HE HAD A STAGE BACK THERE.

SO KNOW WHAT!

"Alright Sora…I give you…the sad truth about Santa…"

Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath

"Whiskey?" Little Sora cocked his head.

From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!"

"NO!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain

"He's old! What do you expect?!"

Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage

"NO! NOT RUDOLPH!!!!!!!! AND WHERE IS HE GETTING THE NUKES?!"

He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!"

"HE'S EATING THEM!!!!" Sora was in a fetal position with a thumb in his mouth.

The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole
Without steppin' in reindeer guts

"Mommy loves me; mommy loves me, HAPPY THOUGHTS!" Sora screeched.

There's the National Guard and the F.B.I.
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'
And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why?
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy

"You made it sound like…'jolly gay!'" Sora said; surprised at the language he was learning from Riku.

Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doin' time
In a federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears
He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years

"I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG!"

But now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous
And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service
And they say Mrs. Clause, she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights

"STOP!"

They're talkin' bout - the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped

"I made those cookies myself…" He sniffed.

Wo, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he's gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped... in his brain

Riku jumped down from the stage and headed over to the scarred Sora.

"So…"

"I know now."

"Do you want me to do the emergency thing?"
"Yes…please…" Riku shot multiple shots of sedative into his neck, and carried the poor boy to the Insane Asylum.

3 months later…

"Okay Kai, it's time for Sora to come out of the Asylum." Riku opened the door, and found some random doctor named 'Stacie' with Sora in a wheel chair.

"Hey Sora, how you feeling?" Kairi asked.

"Santa…has…deceived me…"

123456789123456789123456789123456789123456789123456789123456789123456789

I HIGHLY SUGGEST YOU LOOK THAT SONG UP ON YOUTUBE.

Anyway…R&R and no flames.

Or else they will be taunted and made fun of.