As I look across the
Plains and fields before me
I wonder why I choose
This place to weep

Is it because I have
No where else to go?
Or is it because no one
Will feel the painI
Feel for the love
I Lost in the world?

I lost my love in
What was a war for
Her love of family

She was stabbed down
By a force stronger
Then she is or was
In her short lived life

When I stand in the
Shadows at her funeral
Becuase the sun would
Kill me sending me to
Hell and back until
I was called upon again
To inhabit another body

But my love for her
And my promise to her
To protect her sister
Has kept me strong

Should I ever feel
The need to weep again
I will visit the grave
Dug for her to early in
Her short life as the Slayer,
Protecter of the World

For it was this role
Which took her to
Soon from me.
Protecting her sister,
One of her only living relatives
In this world.

I cannot go until my time
Is up which will be hard
To know when that time is
For I am an immortal beast

A vampire to say the least
A beast that can only be
Killed by stake or sun

Everynight I pray for
Death to come when
The young one is old
Enough to take care of herself

Only then will
I be Whole again

I wrote this poem back a while when I was up late doing nothin' that was to bloody important. I was bored and didn't really think about the words I was putting on the paper. I had missed the end of season 5 but had heard enough about it to get a good idea of the pain that Spike must have felt when he lost Buffy. I kinda know what he went through having lost family that was dear to my heart.

I originally had this poem posted on one of my groups on yahoo that has since shut down. i wrote this way back in January of 2002 and would really like some feed back on it cause I never got any back then. So let me know what you think of it.