The island was a joke. A joke.

A group of little boys dumped on a desert island obeying the rules of some stupid shell. Ridiculous. It was nothing like Coral Island.

I should have been chief. If I'd been chief, it would have been like Coral Island. We would've had a great time, hunting, bathing, playing, what more could anyone want? But no, Ralph had to lead, and with him his silly little rules. Pathetic attempts at order.

When the morons finally saw sense, of course they came to me, but things could've been wizard from the start. When I became chief things started to run properly, efficiently and effectively. With me as their leader they had an example to follow, everyone knew their place and their job. Fears would have disappeared at my excellent leadership skills. And of course my hunting was greatly superior to any of the others. I was the best, by far. We could've had meat whenever we wanted. That's what everyone secretly wished for after all. They were just ashamed to admit it. Cowardly little boys.

I'm still clueless as to why they chose Ralph in the first place! He hadn't, and still hasn't, achieved anything! Great fat lot of use he turned out to be. The shelters never got built. He hung around with Piggy and Simon. He cared about nothing but fire. He was obsessed with that thing. God only knows why. He wasn't a hunter. He didn't have a mask. He wanted to be called Ralph. He wasn't a leader. I'm a leader. I can hunt. I had a mask. I was the Chief. And obviously as I pointed out to them I can sing C sharp, I was chapter chorister and head boy. But that passed over their tiny heads.

In the beginning they were only concerned with amusing themselves with their creamy plaything, far too busy to listen to me. But Piggy held that thing almost like a precious stone, which it was far from, it was pathetic, a hobby he took far too seriously.

Piggy was an utter waste of space. He was nothing but a nuisance to the island. He never did anything! He couldn't've hunted to save his life, no way, so he wasn't a clever as everyone implied, was he? The only thing he was ever good for were those stupid glasses of his, although I could've done without them with practise of course, unlike Ralph.

I know things would've turned out great if I'd been chief from the moment we dropped in. Things would've run without a hitch, no beasties, no huge fires, no fights, we would've had fun all day long. We could've hunted and played games and done our dance.

Yes, if I'd been chief from the start things would've run smoothly, and maybe, just maybe, that no-hoper Ralph and I could've been friends.