Not sure what category this will be in, I'll just go with the flow.
I'll update maybe once a week to once a month, so patience shall be appreciated. If I don't update, don't go ballistic, as I have a packed schedule, with things like school and baseball. And important things like Minecraft and sleeping.
Also, try to excuse cheesy puns and extremely obvious miss spelling, they are most likely on purpose. Or at least that's what I say. (Plus I use Word-pad, so there isn't any word checking device, so I will try to fix the errors that aren't meant to be later on)
Feel free to throw up suggestions, and I enjoy y'all haters, give me stuff to think on. Bring on the criticizing!
I'll try to make this original, so ... enjoy.
P.S. The whole story will be in Percy P.O.V., just in case you were wondering.
Disclaimer : This story be mine. PJO, HOO, and all characters of PJO, and HOO belong to Rick Riordan, who is not me, sadly.
P.J. P.O.V.
I took a look at my miserable existence, and I began to feel bad, nay, downright horrible. Living on the street, hardly any real friends, disowned, exiled, and single to boot really sucks, I would know. Gods, I feel terrible. Gods, screw you.
I loved Annabeth so much, and she loved me, too. We were going to become married, have children, and be old, but my perfect life was ruined for me. Cough *bitch* cough. Leaning back on my dumpster, I remembered all of my girlfriend's time with me, and how we squandered it earlier on, on stupid arguments. If only we hadn't been so young, so ignorant, so.. so childish. *sniff*. I told myself right then that I would never love another woman again. Thinking on that, I swore not to love a man either, because that's kind of... weird.
Using a few *magazines* I had found for a pillow, and using a blanket I'd snatched from a woman earlier, I began to drift off, forgetting that it was the middle of the day.
Then, I smelled through my nose and started a coughing fit, "Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violent" I shouted. Annabeth had told me that a good way to relieve stress was to use a very colorful vocabulary.
A few gangsters looked at me strangely, and walked away while shaking their heads. Deciding to investigate, I took my trusty pants, err whats left of them, and followed with my hand firmly gripped around Riptide. Stealthy sprinting after them, I tripped over a child's skateboard, which he had kicked at me while I was running.
"God damn Tyke" I said under my breath. 'Whoosh' In all of her glory, a goddess fell from the sky, managing to land on a trampoline that was traveling in the back of a truck, do a flip, and slide down a light pole perfectly.
"I am the goddess Tyche," she began, "and for using my name in vain, you shall suffer ill fortune for the rest of your life."
I tried to stop her, and say it was a mistake, I really did, but I bit my tongue in the process. "Shit" I spat out, spraying the goddess with a red speckled liquid. Blood. She frowned. Double shit. Then poof, she disappeared with a cloud of smoke, causing me to fall, and choke due to the dust everywhere. Walking across the street, I was hit by two cars, a delivery truck, and an ambulance.
I didn't see the point of living a life like this, so I was going to go ask Zeus to kill me... nah, to mainstream, I think I'll just jump off a building or something.
I got to the top of the department store, after both elevators breaking down, and the fire alarm locking me on the stairs. Leaning over the edge, someone walked up behind me, causing me to jump forward... 10 stories and 12 seconds later I was peeling my destroyed clothes off of the pavement, cursing my Achilles heel.
I decided to get it over and pulled out my sword, preparing to stab it into my back, my Achilles heel. SHLLICckKkkKk. Pain, agonizing, sheer, devastatingly painful pain. 'Well duh' were my last thought before I blacked out.
I appeared in Charon's death shop, or whatever it was, and realized I didn't have any money to pay for the boat ride. A great start to death. Perhaps since I'm dead, my bad luck will disappear now. Hopefully. Walking up to the creepy man at the front desk, I asked for a ride.
"Yeah, sure." He started off conversationally, "Just for you."
I was confused, because THAT was definitely too easy. Shrugging and walking onto the boat, I waited for the man to arrive I realized that my spirit was more clearly defined then all the rest around me.
"First stop, Hell" the shady ferryman called out. Passing Cerberus, I was glad I was a spirit, 'cause he was doggone intimidating. Between the three heads, giant form, and slobber everywhere, I didn't think I could find the guts to fight him.
"We're here" His voice rang out again, reminding me of nails scratching on a chalkboard.
Excited to see all of my friends, I began to move speedily towards the entrances, but before I could make it, a chilly voice split the air, like a shrill whistle. "Perseus Allen Jackson!" I cringed as I turned around, seeing the fury Alecto. "Hades wants to see you," She spat out darkly, "NOW!"
I broke into a run at where I thought the palace of Hades was. Finding it easily, I raised my hand to knock, when the door opened by itself. Seeing no reason to delay, I went Inside, straight through the Atrium and passing by the dining room along the way to death's throne.
Looking ahead dutifully, I clenched my jaw and walked up to the magnificent seat, kneeling and bowing my head in respect to the intimidating deity.
"Ah... Percy, Percy, Percy, what a pleasant surprise! You don't know how long I've waited for a person to, ahem, experiment on." He started, surprising me with his rather sound English and manners.
"Yes sir," I replied, still on the ground.
Hades studied me before saying "How would you like to have a second try? I give all heroes the chance, so no need to fear anything." Too say he surprised me was an understatement. "How about it? You could even mend all of those relationships you ruined."
"I guess I don't have the heart to say no to that..." This was a very unique experience, getting along almost well with a god.
"Alright," He announced after a careful study of me. "Answer this question ASAP, got it?"
I speedily said "Affirmative," not realizing that that was not the question. He chuckled slightly, bring the freezing room's temperature up a few degrees.
"Alright, if you could have one thing right now, what would it be?" He questioned me.
I quickly thought of how cold, dark, and damp it was in here. I uttered the words "Heat, light and dry" out, causing Hades to cackle maniacally.
'Have fun he tells me'. Have fun? It's a good thing he's married to the goddess of the harvest, 'cause it doesn't much cornier than that. Then it all went black.
