Mierna Sanka.
Author's Notes: This is just a short experimental piece. It occurs after the events of Stalker, so spoilers ahead. This story was also influenced by the song "Stinkfist" by Tool. Story is told from Scotty's perspective.
Everyday you come to work wearing that mask that tells everyone that you're alright. You gladly take any case that comes your way, and come wind and high water you solve that case like only you can. No matter what anyone throws your way you never seem to crack. The steel fortress around you is strong, but it's too strong. How does anybody crack it? You hide your emotions so well, and sometimes we wonder if you have anything inside of you.
Then you start coming to work wearing winter clothes in the summer. You're hiding something from us, but you seem happy. The happiness is always short lived though. You come into work one day and I can see rope burns on your wrists. Rope burns, what the hell is going on? I confront you in the observation room and I demand to know what's going on. You just keep hiding behind that shell of your's, and when I grab your wrists you pull away. You tell me to mind my own damn business. I want to go after you, but I stay put, and I worry.
The next day you come in and your steps are shaky, but you try to hide it. When you sit down I can see you wince in pain. Something's going on, and I'm going to find out what it is. You treat me like any old partner, not allowing me to break that fortress around you. Everyday you come in you have a new injury or something. What the hell are you doing to yourself Lil? One day you call in sick, but I know better. I come to your house and let myself in. You're sitting on the couch with your arms around your knees. You're dressed normally, but I can see the injuries. You have rope burns around your wrists, there are bruises on your arms, and cut marks on your legs. When you turn around you see my expression. I'm completely shocked, and when you tell me to go away I refuse. You stand up and try to shove me out of the door, but I won't let you. I ask you repeatedly what's going on with you. I grab you close to me and beg you to tell me.
That's when you answer, but not the way I'd like. You beg me to hurt you. You tell me that you need this pain to feel alive. I refuse, and you tell me that you don't want the pain, but that you need it. I refuse to hurt you Lilly, but you continue to beg. You inform me that every night you've been attending an underground sado-masochist club. The type of place where people take pleasure in harming and being harmed by people. You tell me in confidence that you're a masochist. That the feel of a switch against your skin excites you. When they blindfold you and hit you the arousement you get is overbearing.
I embrace you in a hug, and lead you to the couch. You don't resist at all. You allow me to hold you then, and you allow yourself to fall asleep in my arms. It's then when you're sound asleep in my arms that I realize that the fortress you've placed around yourself is opened up for me. I fall asleep. Mierna Sanka.
End Notes: A lot of times I have an odd habit of making up words, and googleing them. Half of the time the words are real words. In this case Mierna means "soft" while Sanka can mean "Without Sleep." The title literally translates as "Soft Without Sleep."
And well this is my contribution to the Lilly and Scotty shipping yard.
