The appointment
She checked her phone. No calls, no messages. She didn't know if she was upset that he hadn't called today or relieved. What did she want from him?
It had been a week since he had told her to leave their firehouse. She had moved from the sofa at Meredith's up into Alex's old room and back down to the sofa. Cristina felt out of place. All of a sudden Meredith had become a mother, Lexie and Jackson were happy, keppner was chief resident and Alex was gone. The house she had once run to for comfort felt like it was closing in on her. She didn't want to explain to the others why she was there, so she avoided them at the house and the hospital. she had avoided the ER and her husband's service all week. But it was only a matter of time before their paths would cross professionally.
One thing she could not avoid was the elephant I'm the room-Zola. She cried, laughed, played and to see it hurt Cristina more than she could admit. It hurt her to see the life she and Owen could have but she was too afraid to contemplate.
She longed to go home- back to the warmth of her husband and the safety he created for her. But how? How did she get back there? She wanted to explain but she couldn't find the words and even if she could would he want to hear them?
Pushing these thoughts to the back of her mind, she got dressed and made her way to the hospital for her appointment.
Owen sat on their bed, in the house she had bought for him. He turned his phone over in his hands. He wanted to hear her voice, he wanted to beg her not to do this, wanted to drive to meredith's and bring his wife home. But he couldn't. If he spoke to her, he would remember how her voice had comforted him when he had a panic attack. If he saw her he would remember how her touch and her kiss had bought him back to life in the after. He loved her, but she had betrayed him. How could they get past this? Was this the end of his marriage? Had he lost the woman he loved?
He sighed and stood up, pushing his phone into his back pocket and headed off to the hospital to start his shift.
Cristina hesitated at the entrance to Seattle Grace Mercy West. Through the glass doors she saw the staircase to the residents locker room to the right and the signs to the obstetrics wing to the left. She walked to the door, her hand shaking as she pushed the entry button, she stepped inside and turned left.
Owen hung back on his approach to the hospital. He watched, heavy hearted, as he saw his wife observe the signs for obstetrics and walk towards the staircase that would carry her to the place that she wanted to go and he so desperately wanted her not to. He felt his heart pounding in his chest and he took some deep breaths. He closed his eyes tight, trying to erase the image of his wife from his mind. After a few moments he snapped his head up and strode into the ER.
Cristina sat on the exam table, dressed in a patient gown with her legs hanging over the side. She kept looking at the door, almost willing those blue eyes to meet her's and those strong arms to come towards her and scoop her up and tell her it was ok. She didn't notice the tears in her eyes until they started to fall onto her hands that rested in her lap. The one person she needed to help her was the one person she had driven away.
"Cristina, we are ready to start now...Cristina?"
Owen was restless. He kept looking at the clock in the ER. He wanted to be with her, to tell her to take care now. The ER was quiet, a few minor injuries he wasn't needed on the floor. He told Jackson he would be back and turned on his heels and sprinted down the corridor. He didn't know what he was going to say or if he really wanted to be part of this but he knew he had to be with her. He wanted Cristina.
he turned into the obstetric department and pausing to catch his breath he saw her. The woman he loved with all his heart. She was sitting on the sofa in the waiting room. She had her elbows on her knees, head in her hands and her black curls tumbled around her shoulders. Owen noticed the tears in her eyes and knew he was too late. He stepped softly towards her and fiddled with his scrub top, unsure of what to say.
"Cristina?" he whispered and stared at the floor.
She looked up. He came! He was standing in front of her. Hr heart skipped a beat when he lifted his head and looked into her eyes. The piercing blue eyes that once lit up when saw her, looked like dams that could burst any moment.
"Owen...I...I...have to..." she stumbled for words as he stepped closer to her and took her hands. She stood up and felt the comforting heat of his body close to hers.
"Cristina, I am sorry..." his voice shook and he swallowed hard. He opened his mouth to continue but was silenced by her fingers pressed over his mouth. With her free hand she took his left hand in hers, the coolness of his wedding band was strangely comforting. She wrapped her fingers around the silver band and for a moment felt as though she had found her way home.
She looked up at him and love flooded through her. In that moment as he searched her face questioningly she knew she had done the right thing. She still had a lot to explain to him, but she felt able to do that. She had to because he was right- she loved him.
Taking his left hand more firmly in her's she moved it towards her body and placed his flat palm on her stomach and stroked the back of his hand.
"You are going to be a wonderful father. I love you."
Owen's eyes widened as he looked from his wife's tear stained face to their hands entwined on her stomach. All the anger and hurt was slowly disappearing and was replaced with the complete love for this woman and the child they had created together.
He moved his head towards her so their foreheads were touching. Not wanting to move his hand from her stomach he took her face in his other hand, stroking her cheek as he gently kissed her. As they broke apart he wrapped his arms around her, buried his face in her hair and smiled to himself, not wanting to be anywhere else but in this moment with his family.
Owen couldn't see but as he hugged her tight Cristina too was smiling against his chest. Feeling that she was exactly where she was meant to be- in the arms of the man she loved, the ,an she had missed for the past week. The man who had given her what she had always been afraid of- family.
