Okay so it is now four days to my birthday so I decided to post this little song fic of mine. I originally thought of this while listening to music with my friends. And to be honest most of these songs are not of the kind I would listen to of my own free will. But somehow I still managed to get inspired.

Anyway this fic is all ready written out and will be four chapters including epilogue, one for every day until my B-day.

I'll also be dedicating this fic to my friend Megan though I doubt she'll ever read this.

On to the story!

Disclaimer: I don't own HP but The book fairy promised me Draco for my birthday…(that was a good dream). Also the song used is originally Light Of Day, Day Of Darkness by Green Carnation

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Glaring lights

Raging fans

And rabid reporters

This was his life

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

To think. Only a few years ago he would have abhorred every second of this.

It's strange how a person can change so drastically.

But then again, perhaps it was to be expected.

A change of scene, of profession, of world, of life.

So much change would do that to a person right?

~o~

Sometimes he still thought about his other life.

Wondering how things would have been, had he stayed.

Wondering about the ones he'd left behind in a quest for his own future.

Sometimes,

Just before he once more stepped into the limelight,.

When people could be found running around in a frenzy, gyrating around him and the others, as they frantically tried to get everything just right,

He would catch himself thinking.

What if

But then he would find be on that stage,
his bandmates at his side,

his muse, the red thread that stayed his course, standing right behind the screen as she watched him, rooting for him from where she waited backstage.

While in front of him and all around him his public, his fans waited with baited breath for the first notes of music to sound.

Then,

As he started to sing he would once more remember,

This was his life

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

A vision, a call

In times before my fall

In life before I became

I dreamt I was insane

I saw the unseen

I heard the unheard

I rode the sky above the earth

I felt the breeze of the world

I walked along

I should have retrieved

What was real as a merry blue sky

Was long gone within of me

His old life was over.

It ended the day that he fulfilled his given destiny.

He had nearly died that day.

He had been in the hospital wing for a week, in coma for three of those days. The other four were spent thinking.

Thinking of what he wanted in his life.

Four days to figure out how to make his life his own.

Crimson tide

Wave of lost time

Scenario of a velvet blue sky

I dreamt about day

But I lived in the night

I looked and I saw

That in my dream I was free

Red turned blue

White became black

The daylight erased the shadow of me

It hadn't been as hard as he'd expected.

In fact it had ridiculously easy once he had made up his mind.

Insanity reached

Whispering voice

The sky above the stars

The wind below the moon

The light created shadows

The dark beyond the eyes

I sat before myself

I looked above below

A month it had taken.

A month to tie up all loose ands.

A month to say his silent goodbyes to all he held dear.

A month spent lulling everyone into a false sense of security, pretending that everything was fine. That he accepted all the choices that others had made and thrust upon him. That he was happy being the ministry's poster boy.

Pretending to be a shepherd for the sheep, while secretly being but a sheep himself.

No one saw the puppet cut his strings.

Doves and birds, grass and trees

Where was all I used to see?

Why am I not

What I used to be?

I embrace

My living self

I see the unseen

I hear the unheard

I learned the secret

But not before I learned

Night divide day, day erase night

Light of day, day of Darkness

Hardest had been leaving his friends , his family, his pillar of support.

For so long they had stood beside him when he most needed them and even when he thought he didn't, when he pushed them away in spite.

They always stood by him, because they knew that, even when he said otherwise, their support was the only thing that kept him alive, kept him sane.

If only for a little while.

They are inside my head

Climbing the walls

Falling off the ceiling

Jumping on the floor

Voices and calls

And on the edge of sanity

I stumble and fall

Through the gates of the endless halls

But even so,

They had fallen for his guise even they did not see, or chose to ignore, the darkness and insanity growing inside of him the longer he stayed.

They never saw him slowly falling into the abyss.

They never saw him slip away.

They never got the chance to let him go.

He never got to tell them goodbye to their faces.

Soldier, walk with me

Through the valley of eternity

In passion I see

Am I the one only the mirror sees?

Through the valley of eternity

Am I the one only the mirror sees?

A distant call for me

I am lost within my memory

Lost in the maze

The secret place that no one's ever seen

I am lost within my memory

The secret place that no one's ever seen

Silent cries of despair

Through the valley of eternity

What sanity remains

Within this fragile, twisted mind

That was nearly five years ago.

He had never looked back. Preferring instead to keep going forward.

He told himself they were better off without him. At least now they could go on with their own lives, unhindered by the complications of being associated with him.

Then, perhaps years from now,

They might meet again.

But till then….

I am all alone

Me, myself, and I

Echoes pound my head

Shapeless forms everywhere

I think, therefore I am

You are a fantasy

Made by me

I dream this world

When I end, the world will end with me

I am everything

You are me

Sleep my child to never be

This was his life,

Without them,

Without magic

Without Harry Potter the Boy-Who-Lived

His past was but a distant dream

I fell asleep, to sweet lullaby

A sleep in which I had a dream

In this dream

I was a different me

This was his life

Glaring lights

Raging fans

And rabid reporters

This was his reality his reality,

His refuge from dreaming.

A magic all of its own

Now I sit here alone, so cold

Left in the dark, to feel

Pity my soul

What is left to say?

What is left to see?

Where did I fail?

Watched me and my new desire

Emptier than ever

But feeling complete

I conceil myself

Until night falls

I am who I am

I just want to be

I hear a voice

Who could it be?

Is there anybody else here with me?

Why do you torture me?

Won't you leave me be?

Am I whom I should be?

For all that you are lies only within of me

Out of reach, out of sight

I feel strange and lost

Can you lead me right?

It's too dark for me to see

Capture of soul

won`t you please forgive me?

...forgive me...

I heard the tales

Of the secret way

That tears are replacements

For what has been taken away

From us and the lost

Still, all I see is burning fields

Still, all I hear is dying screams

Am I who I should be?

For all that you are

Lies only within me

I am the future

I am the past

I am what you wish for

The god you wish to be

I am the voice

Behind the silent scream

I am the dark

And the light you'll never see

I am the blood

That makes your soul free

I am pure

I am unclean

It takes one to be a god

It takes one to feel lonely

It takes two to outlast me

It takes two to feel complete

It takes a moon to light the stars

It takes a light to see the dark

Insanity reached

Whispering voice

The sky above the stars

The wind below the moon

The light created shadows

The dark beyond the eyes

I sat before myself

I looked above below

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Alright so that's it for day one I hope you like.

And remember lots of reviews make for a happy Ebby and happy a Ebby makes for more PF.

Ciao for now,

XOXO

Eb