Legal/Author's note: I don't own any of this. I don't own Gundam or its characters and I don't own the song this is based off of (Meet Virginia by Train). I'd also like to remind readers that this in neither Pro-Relena nor Relena-bashing (or perhaps it's both... I'm not sure). Either way, reviews are always appreciated, though flames are not. I did this on a crazed caffeine rush at 1:30 am this morning. Thank you.

Meet Relena

(The G-Boys stand on a stage with their instruments in front of a large, packed concert hall. Duo is on vocal, Heero is vocal backup with a guitar, Trowa's on bass, Quatre's on keyboard, and Wufei is doing percussion. In the audience are such familiar faces as Miss Noin, Milliardo Peacecraft, Relena Peacecraft, Sally Po, Catherine Bloom, Dorothy Catalonia and Lady Une.)

Duo: Hey! How y'all doin' tonight?
(Sound of crickets)
Duo: ... Anyway, this next song is dedicated to one of our member's biggest fans and her incessant attempts to glomp him.
Audience: (all stare all Relena)
Relena: (blushes)
Quatre: (intro on keyboard)

Duo:
She always wears a dress, her hair is never a mess,
If you catch her stalkin, she won't confess.

Heero:
She's beautiful.

Duo:
She never compromises, loves soldier and surprises,
Wears hi-heels in too small sizes,
[Sarcastically] Ain't that beautiful.

Duo and Heero:
Meet Relena,
Well dad treats her like the Queen
Then she moans about her scene
OZ pulls her pair back as she screams
I don't really wanna be the Queen.

(Relena blushes)

Duo:
Her daddy got killed by raiders, Mama disappears lil' later,
Her brother is a fine 'mediator' for the White Fang.
(Milliardo turns bright red)
Well here she is like dogs to bone,
Just can't stand that she's all alone,
She just likes to sit at home, and watch her 'perfect man'.

Duo and Heero:
Meet Relena,
Well she wants to live her life
Then she thinks about her life
Braids her hair back as she screams,
I don't really wanna live this life.

Heero:
She always shows up at mid-fight,
When the moment is not right,
Her thinking is quite- unusual.
You see her confidence is tragic,
But her intuition- 'magic,

Duo:
[Mischievously] And the shape of her body- unusual...

(Relena suddenly looks self-conscious)

Duo and Heero:
Meet Relena- I can't wait to
Meet Relena- Yeah

Meet Relena,
Well dad treats her like the Queen,
Then she moans about her scene,
OZ braids her hair up and she screams,
I don't really wanna be the Queen.

Meet Relena,
Well she wants to live her life,
Then she thinks about her life,
Braids her hair back and she screams,
I don't really wanna live this life.

(Music fades out and the audience bursts into cheers and applause)