A/N Hey there! The I love you scene in 15x23 really got to me so I thought I'd write a little follow up. PLEASE leave comments if you enjoyed or want to share your thoughts, it'll encourage me to write more x
A risk. That's what it was, one of the biggest risks he'd ever took in his life but nether the less, a risk. The thoughts had been flowing through his mind for a long while, thoughts about love. Andrew was absolutely certain about his feelings for Meredith, he loved her deeply. It was a love that he'd never experienced before. It was a love that branched out not only to her, but to her children and to her lifestyle – the way she was at work with her patients and in surgery, the way her house constantly welcomed and took great care of everyone who stepped foot inside, her sisters, their partners, her friends, him.
He perched in an empty patient room where it was quiet to update his charts and to avoid the gathering at the nurse's station, they had a tendency to ask for consults whenever a doctor stood still for more than two minutes, he needed a rest. Needed to think about his day.
Meredith did something that no doctor should ever do, put her own daughter's name on a patient file so that their patient, a four year old asylum seeking girl could have a life saving surgery which was covered by her own insurance. Dr. Webber was extremely mad at the realization of what she did and yet somehow he agreed to keep things quiet until it could be figured out in depth properly. Saving a life was the upmost priority here after all.
A part of Andrew thought he should be infuriated at what Meredith did, she didn't consult him about doing this, only said that she'd find a solution to the problem and she did. He never doubted her for a moment that she wouldn't; but in this way, potentially creating insurance fraud and risking her career, possibly even going to jail because of it? This was not at all the way in which he imagined her to fix things.
He'd barely even had a minute to talk to her alone during the whole day so when she walked through the door and closed it swiftly behind her, he wasn't at all mad at her. He was in awe of her. For being so brave and standing up for a little girl who wouldn't otherwise have had a chance of being saved.
"I am in awe of what you did today." Andrew spoke firmly; Meredith looked up at him with wide eyes as he continued. "I was afraid that if I opened my mouth the only thing that was going to come out was… I love you."
Those three words… His eyes never left hers as the words spilled out of his mouth, soft and yet so full of meaning.
He watched as Meredith froze on the spot, swearing point blank that she was holding her breath for a couple of seconds. "Oh.." She finally breathed out. "Well okay. Glad we cleared that up." She looked at him with an unreadable expression and bolted towards the door, leaving him in solitary to wonder if spilling out the truth to her was ultimately worth it…
Did he expect her to say it back? He wasn't exactly sure but he didn't expect her to practically dismiss him and flee without so much as a 'we'll talk later'.
"Oh, Meredith" He sighed, slouching back onto the bed he was sitting on before she arrived.
He knew that Meredith had many a stories and a deeply complex mind which required layers of unlocking, but after the drama that happened with his Father, he was well aware that she liked to know what was on his mind too. Yes, he needed a minute back then to think and not drag her into the burden that was his family but after she showed up at his door wanting to talk through things it had opened up a whole new level of trust between them and ever since then they had been exceedingly more honest and open with each other. He didn't see why he should hide his true feelings any longer.
Hours passed without seeing her and Andrew tried to think of things in her perspective. The thing they had going on was good, great even. She'd told him just last night how much she enjoyed him coming over to her house to cook dinner, watch a crappy movie and have some rather epic sex afterwards. Basically doing the same thing as any other couple, there was no lack of affection between them at all so why had this freaked her out? He was sure that at this point in their relationship it was acceptable to say such a thing.
Maybe it brought back flashbacks of her dead husband? Maybe she didn't ultimately feel the same way and the whole thing was just for a little bit of fun, a distraction from work at the end of a long day? Maybe he should really stop thinking like this?
He was exhausted. Physically and mentally.
"Hey, DeLuca! Have you seen Meredith?" Alex brought him straight back to reality as he hurriedly burst through the door.
"I- uh..." He stuttered, not wanting to make eye contact. "Not for a while. She was here but she's not now."
"I can see that. Do you know where she is?"
"I said something." Andrew glanced up at Alex for the first time since he entered' a sombre look on his face. "I don't think I should have said it and now there's no way I can take it back."
Alex stepped closer to him. His expression changed instantly from his natural state to concern, with a slight hint of anger. "What did you do?"
He felt like an idiot and really didn't want to embarrass himself in front of her best friend. They had both cleared the air after what Alex did to him and gradually began working together again, however there was still a slight amount of tension that remained.
"What did you do?!" Alex asked again, his tone becoming increasingly pushy.
Andrew glanced at his shoes, not wanting to look at Alex. "I said… that I love her."
"Okay..."
"Okay?! It's not okay! She literally ran away. Come potrei essere così stupido?" He flipped from English to Italian in a heartbeat, had no idea why he was spilling this to Alex but continued anyway. "
"So i'm gonna say something and it'll be the only time we do this, but Meredith is a runner." Alex pulled up a stool, awkardly beside him. "She run's. I don't know why, but she does, call it a comfort thing or whatever but she does. And the thing I've learnt here is to never take it to heart. There's always a reason behind it and she usually explains in the end. She runs, I lash out."
Andrew raised an eyebrow at that sentence.
"Crap. I- that's obviously not what I meant. I mean every single person on this earth is different and people have different ways of dealing with things. That's hers."
"So, you think I should run after her?" His mind focused on three places where he thought Meredith might be.
"I think its best to confront Meredith head on whilst she's in her zone opposed to letting her over think things and go back in circles, so yes. You should run after her, DeLuca."
Twelve flights of stairs. That's how many he'd ran up towards the roof after discovering the elevator wasn't in working order. He reached the top, completely breathless and pushed the door open with all of his might. She wasn't there. He ran down the stairs just as quickly.
The ladies bathroom. He knew Meredith had a tendency to hide out in here when she needed to escape from her interns. She'd told him that when she was at his, a little drunk on red wine after she'd called round one night with a takeaway. They'd laughed about it and he wasn't totally convinced that she was serious until one day last week when she had text him her location after Schmitt had been searching for her for twenty two minutes precisely.
There's no way he could bring himself to barge into the ladies bathroom on his wild goose hunt for Meredith.
"Helm!" She turned around quickly at the mention of her name. "I need you to do something for me."
She smiled welcomingly at him, "Okay, is it something good? I could use a fun case after having to deal with Mrs. Jones. All she does is complain… Ugh!" Her nose scrunched up at the thought of having to return to her room.
"No. I need you to go into the ladies bathroom and see if Dr. Grey is in there."
Helm chuckled and only stopped when she saw the dead serious look on his face. "Um, is everything okay?"
"Fine, just need you to look in the bathroom."
She obliged and quickly emerged from the door. "It's only Dr. Altman in there. I guess the baby is causing havoc with her bladder."
"Okay, yes thank you for that."
Andrew's hand reached for his phone, he was sure that calling her wouldn't make any difference but he did it anyway. No answer.
Meredith's car. He subtly escaped from the ER doors and made his way around the side of the hospital buildings towards the parking lot, it took a while to spot her car. She arrived a little later today and didn't manage to park in her usual space. She was there right enough, in the driver's seat. He gravitated closer and saw that she had her blonde locks leaning against the headrest, her eyes closed. She looked peaceful yet more than likely deep in her thoughts.
The car door opened and Meredith jumped in fright. A reassuring smile graced his lips, he hadn't intended on startling her.
"Hey." He climbed in besides her to be met with the brightness of her eyes against his dark ones.
"Hey back."
Andrew's hand instinctively reached out for her own, only for him to pause and slowly place it back by his side where it was originally. He wasn't sure if he should be initiating physical contact after she had chosen to flee from him earlier.
Meredith noticed his actions and frowned. "Andrew." She whispered, well aware that she must have hurt his feelings.
The thoughts in his brain were a mess once more now that he was in her proximity, that was the affect she had on him on a daily basis. He loved the rush, wondered why anyone would choose to get high when such thing as love existed.
He opened his mouth as if to speak but surprisingly nothing made its way out. His eyes focused on her face – her hair, her eyes, those lips that felt so soft against his own when he kissed her.
"Firstly…" Meredith sighed, raising her hand to the back of Andrew's neck. She pulled him oh so close so that her lips delicately pressed against his. His eyes closed and he felt her fingers in his curls, the same way as always.
"Secondly…" She spoke in between pressing a few more kisses against his lips. "I run, it's what I do. I freaked out, Andrew."
He grabbed her hand, without any hesitation this time and locked is fingers through hers. "I shouldn't have sa-"
She stopped him. "It wasn't that I didn't like what you said. It was just a shock; I'm not used to those words anymore. I never thought I'd hear them again, and well… you surprised me. You always manage to do that." A little grin found Meredith's lips. "I like the surprises, especially when they push me into discovering things about myself which I never would have even thought about before."
"Okay then." Andrew bit his lip in an attempt to conceal his smile.
"I don't think I've smiled so much in a long time and it's all because this crazy, Italian guy hijacked a date I was supposed to be going on and kissed me senseless on top of a hospital rooftop."
Andrew rolled his eyes and chuckled softly. "My God. The dude sounds crazy."
"He is. But I happen to love him very much."
He looked at the woman before him, in awe like always. Knowing that her words were genuine. Meredith was a straight up tell the truth kind of person, he had known that since day one of meeting her.
So yes, saying those words were a risk. A risk that turned out to be one of the best things to happen in his life, so far...
