You're always there for me, always with the same feelings and hope...but I'm not. I keep going, but you're still in the same spot day after day.

Whenever you follow me, you look so full of hope, thinking that I'll be able to be with you, that I really love you.

When you talk to me, you sound as if heaven were so close, that you can touch it with your fingers if you just reached out your hand.

Whenever you put your arms around me and hug me so strongly, your face seems to be so happy, relieved that you finally have what you want, feeling nothing with love.

But you don't. Because I don't really love you.

When I look at you, and you look back with such hope and joy...it pains me. It makes me feel guilty, like I want to hurt you.

You think that I don't care for you, that I just want to be alone and leave you with the same fate.

But I don't. I don't want to hurt you. I want you to be happy...but you can't be because you feel that you need me more than anything.

You feel that I complete your heart, that you have me and everything will be so much better and you'll finally be happy, that your heart can rest.

When you walk behind me, I can sense you wanting me, like a shadow that won't leave and will follow me anywhere, no matter what I do.

And I can't help but feel like you're trying to show me how wonderful your love is, that it will free me and change my heart, make me as happy as you are.

And...I believe you. If you really are that happy, then I want to feel the same.

But I can't...even though when you talk to me, your voice flows like the joy in your heart...I know it's there, but I can't really feel it.

Whenever you hug me, you say you feel happiness flowing through your body, as if touching me took away all the pain and doubt you had.

But I don't feel any of that. All I feel is you being so happy, but I'm not. I can feel your love, but my heart just won't beat with yours.

I don't love you...you seem so happy, and I seem to suffer and wonder about you...about what's it like to love someone.

I don't love you...but I want to.

I want to love you. I want to smile whenever I find you looking at me with happiness, reflect your face and show the same emotions.

I want to be close to you. I don't want you to follow me from behind, I want to wish you were beside me, resting, knowing that you're safe.

Whenever you hug me, I wish I wanted that touch as if it were so precious and unique.

I wish my heart beat so strongly when I know I can have you in my own arms.

You're giving yourself to me, and I wish I wanted it...but I don't. But still, I wished I wanted you. I wish I could be so happy simply by being with you.

I wish I loved you, Amy...