I decided to add a short sequel one shot to the story Deep Regret. Thank you for all the great responses to the original story. Gregg.
Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Bones was in her study working on her novel. It had been one week since Booth's retirement from the FBI, and he had come in here every day at exactly the same time to spend the day with her. Of course he would sit on the couch and read (comic books, of course), or play some holographic video game, or simply babble on about anything and everything. She would never admit it, but she loved it when he was in here with her. Looking at the clock on her desk she saw that it was just turning to 10 o'clock. Like clockwork Booth came through the door and placed a fresh cup of coffee on her desk, and then took his place on the couch, a game in hand.
"Thank you," she told him with a smile. "Are you packed for tomorrow?"
Booth looked at her with a confused, befuddled look on his face. "What's tomorrow?" he asked.
"We leave on the one year dig," she replied, totally deadpan. Of course she was teasing him, but she enjoyed it too much to not do so.
"Bones," he said with real vehemence. "I thought we already decided I'm in charge of our retirement plans."
"So you say, but I do not remember any such conversation," she replied. "We will be spending time in the Amazon Rain Forest where the remnants of a lost city have been found."
"Bones," Booth protested. "We are not spending a year in a rain forest!"
"And I've arranged for you to be my primary assistant," she continued.
"What?" he exclaimed. He knew the kind of exacting Hell that her assistants went through when she was on her digs, and he wanted no part of that. He just retired for God's sake! Then he saw her smiling and chuckling. "Very funny, Bones," he said, mentally breathing a sigh of relief that it had been a joke.
"I think it is," she winked. She took a sip of her coffee. Perfect.
"Coffee okay?" Booth asked.
"As always," she told him. She frowned as he settled down to the game he'd brought in. "There are books in here to read," she pointed out.
"I prefer my graphic novels, Bones," he said as he passed to the next level on the game.
"So you prefer them to my novels?" she raised a mischievous brow.
"Now I didn't say that, Bones," he told her immediately. He didn't want a pissed off Bones on his hands. She could still kick his ass half the time anyway.
She chuckled and got back to work on her novel. She spent some time thinking back on the years and how much he meant to her. It was those kinds of thoughts that assisted her in the development of the Kathy and Andy characters, and also allowed her to stay assured of the reality of her life. Deep seated fears, especially those fed by regret, were difficult to ignore, or push back on as ridiculous, but they were there nonetheless. Suddenly she shocked herself by thinking of a question that she had never bothered to ask him in all the years of their romantic relationship, yet had always wondered about. She asked him now.
"How come you were so willing to forgive me and give us a chance when you broke up with Hannah?" she asked.
Booth almost fell off the couch when he heard her ask the question. He hadn't thought of Hannah in many years, not since he and Bones were married, and probably not for some time before then. He remembered the night that Bones had shown up at his place after Hannah had left a few days before. He'd been surprised to see Bones, but he shouldn't have been. No matter how much he knew she'd been hurt by his getting involved with Hannah, she had from the beginning been nothing but supportive. It was a striking contrast to how he had been when she had dated other men in the past, and it was still a shock to him that while he had been with Hannah, she had not tried to move on herself, even if only to satisfy urges.
"Why do you ask?" he questioned.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about my life, and how much better it turned out because I have you in it," she explained. "But I almost lost all of that, and would have if you hadn't been willing to forgive me and give me one more chance. I've never asked, but I would like to know why you did that."
Booth should be surprised, but he wasn't, at the question. Most people would accept the almost thirty years of marriage as full proof that there was good reason for forgiving and accepting. Not Bones, though. Thirty years later if there was a question mark, then she would ask. It was comforting in its own way in his opinion. He would be seriously worried if she stopped asking questions about anything.
"There was nothing to forgive," he told her.
"Of course there was," she immediately corrected. "I caused you to try to move on, and hurt you in the process. You had a failed relationship as a result. There was a great deal to forgive."
"Not to me," he shrugged.
"But why?" she pressed. She herself had a deep seated regret over the whole thing, and while he may not feel there was anything to forgive, she would like to understand why not.
"Remember when I gambled and you rejected me?" he asked. When she nodded, he continued. "It took me a bit to figure it out, but when I did, I realized I had left out the two most important things when I asked you to take a shot at an us."
"I don't understand," she admitted.
"I didn't say I love you, and I also didn't explain why I love you," he explained. "I didn't tell you that all the things that you considered broken are what I found, and still find, the most endearing. I love how you don't quite get pop culture and need it explained. I love how you are able to focus on the job and give some measure of peace to those who need it, even at the expense of your personal time. I love how can back me up without hesitation and I know I can count on you when the chips are down. And I love how you make me feel when you show me just by letting me share your time because it tells me that I'm worth it to someone. It's the total package, Bones. How couldn't I love you, and how could I ever be mad when I never explained that to you. I screwed up, Bones, not you."
"Then if you understood what happened," she questioned, though she wasn't sure she should even ask considering the incredibly endearing comments he'd just made, "how did you allow yourself to become involved with Hannah?"
"Because I was feeling sorry for myself," he admitted reluctantly. "I'd been rejected completely, Bones, despite the fact that I'd left out the most important part. At first Hannah was the person I turned to to feel like I was worth something to someone. Then I got to caring about her and she seemed to share those feelings. Looking back it was a huge mistake, especially considering her profession and mine, but that's the way it was, Bones."
"I really hated seeing you with her," Bones admitted for the first time. Never in all these years had she said that.
"I know," he said with a chuckle. "To be honest, that's part of why we eventually broke up. I saw a glimmer of jealousy, and regret, and knew that I was just fooling myself."
"Then why did I have to come to you after the break up?" she asked.
Booth was enjoying this. Leave it to Bones to want to resolve a personal mystery almost thirty years after the incident happened. "Pride," he said simply. "Stupid, male, pride."
"Alpha Male Neanderthal," she said with a smile. She'd been calling him that, affectionately, from since before they became a romantic couple, and she knew that he took pride in the label, though he took pains not to push it too far. There was such a thing as being too much of an Alpha Male, after all. When she saw him motion her over, she went and sat next to him on the couch. She leaned in, enjoying his warmth as always.
"Let's just say we both made some mistakes, Bones," he told her. "But you know what? I think maybe what happened was a good thing."
She looked up at him incredulously. "Why would you say that?"
He chuckled. "We would have gotten together, and it would have worked, when you rejected me, but were we really ready to put aside the past issues?" he asked. He went on, despite not having answered that question. "I think we were both ready to put the past behind us when we finally got together, Bones. Call it fate, or whatever cosmic balance sheet you happen to believe in, but I think we have a stronger relationship because of what happened."
"You're right," she said after thinking a moment.
"I am?" he said, in shock because she rarely admitted he was right about anything. He was right a lot, in his opinion, but he rarely heard it from her. Another of the things he found very endearing about her.
"Mmhmm," she murmured. She burrowed into his side a bit more. "You realize you owe me for agreeing that you're right."
He chuckled. "Okay, Bones," he told her. "One month in the rain forest. No more than that. Okay?"
She smiled. Laying a guilt trip was easier than she thought. "I've already got our tickets," she told him. "We leave in three weeks."
"You're spending too much time with Angela, Bones," Booth moaned, but pulled her in close. "But I wouldn't have it any other way."
"Neither would I," she replied, hugging him tightly. Her novel could wait. It was much more fun to spend time with Booth just like this. After almost thirty years she still couldn't get enough time like this with him. And to think, at one painful time she had believed that she couldn't love him for thirty or forty or fifty years.
A/N: Some people have a wonderful ability to have a deep and meaningful conversation in a short time and with few overall words. Booth and Bones are two of those and I wanted to have a serious conversation between them, with a bit of humor, on the whole Hannah situation, but with the perspective that the Deep Regret time frame would give them. I will occasionally write up short one shots like this in this time line if people are interested, but there is no time frame for the writing of them. It will mainly be when the urge strikes me. Thank you for all the reviews and encouragements on my stories. Gregg.
