A/N: The song is complicated by Rihanna. I'm going to try to write a little short story based on this song and Lisa and Dean from the episode 99 Problems.
You're not easy to love; you're not easy to love, no. Why does everything with you so complicated?
Dean Winchester is a busy man. He's always out fighting evil things with his brother Sam. Dean is a good guy, but when he comes back it just blows my mind. I haven't seen him in years since that night. That was the best night of my life. I don't know about him.
Dean saved my son's life. I was so thankful for that. I wanted to tell him to stay here with us, but I knew he wouldn't.
"It's not my life." He smiled and turned away. And I ran up to him and kissed him. He tells me that he would've been proud for Ben to be his son. He honestly looked disappointed. He said goodbye and left.
I was reading a magazine when I heard a knock on the door. I put the magazine down and got up and walked to the door.
I saw Dean's face through the glass. He knocked again. I took a deep breath and opened the door, but I lost my breath when I saw him standing right there in front of me. That leather jacket of his always looked so good on him. I felt a chill from the cold air go past me.
"Dean?" I gasped. He smiled that beautiful smile of his.
"Hi Lisa." He said. I was shocked, I didn't say anything. He was here, he was actually here. He looked at me and smiled again.
"I didn't have your number…so.." Dean said. I laughed a quiet little laugh.
"No, no that's okay, I'm just surprised." I said and kept smiling like an idiot. He wasn't going to stay, stop thinking that. Dean laughed and then got serious.
"How's Ben?" Dean asked.
"Good. Good, he's at baseball." I said. Dean looked around and observed the new house.
"That's uh, you moved, nice house." Dean commented. There was something wrong with Dean, he wasn't acting like Dean. I could tell, he was acting like he was scared. I wanted to know what was going on.
"Dean, you didn't come all the way here to talk about real estate. You alright?" I asked. I was worried about him. The expression on his face looked like he was really upset. He looked down and silently laughed and smiled.
"No, not really. " He admitted. I stared at him.
"What is it?" I asked. Dean looked nervous but the words began to flow out of his mouth.
"Look, I have no illusions, okay? I know the life that I live, I know how that's gonna end for me. Whatever. I'm okay with that. But I wanted you to know…that when I do picture myself happy…it's with you. And the kid. "Dean said with a stern voice. I felt a smile form at the corners of my mouth. He's not going to stay, stop smiling.
"Wow." I said smiling.
"I mean, you don't have to say anything." Dean told me. I smiled, and I realized that I wanted Dean. I wanted to be with Dean. If he doesn't want to stay, that's his loss.
"No, I…I mean, I know. I know. I want to. Come inside. Let me get you a beer." I replied. I turned around and was going to walk inside but Dean's words stopped me.
"I wish I could. Take care of yourself Lisa." Dean said and turned and was going to walk away. Of course he was going to leave. I got angry all of a sudden.
"No, wait, wait! You can't just drop a bombshell like that and then leave. "I told him. Dean turned around and looked honestly like he was sorry.
"I know. I'm sorry. But I don't have a choice. "He mumbled.
"Yeah, you do. You do. You can come inside and let me get you a beer. We can talk. "I said starting to get annoyed. I turned and Dean grabbed my arm and said my name.
"Lisa, wait a minute. Things are about to get really bad." Dean explained. I pulled my arm away from his hand and crossed my arms.
"Like how? You're kind of bad?" I asked.
"Worse. Next few days, the crap you're gonna see on your TV, it's gonna be downright trippy. Scary. But I don't want you to worry, because I'm making arrangements for you and Ben. "Dean said. Arrangements? Was our lives in danger or something?
"Arrangements?" I said.
"Whatever happens, you're gonna be okay." Dean assured me. I was so confused.
"What do you mean? What are you talking about?" I asked. I wanted an answer.
"The people that I'm gonna see next, they're not gonna get anything from me without agreeing to a few conditions. " Dean said. I didn't want him to do anything crazy, related to his job. He was starting to worry me.
"Just...just come inside. Please. And whatever you're thinking of doing, don't do it. "I begged. Dean grabbed my hands and held them and looked down at them and rubbed them gently.
"I have to." Dean whispered. No, he didn't.
"Just stay an hour. At least say goodbye to Ben." I said. Ben would be mad if he finds out that Dean was here and he was gone.
"It's better if I don't." Dean said. Ugh, why did he have to be so negative and downright stubborn!
Sometimes I get you, sometimes I don't understand. Sometimes, I love you; sometimes it's you I can't stand. Sometimes I wanna hug you, sometimes I wanna push you away. Most times I wanna kiss you.
I nodded, realizing that he would never want to come inside and have a beer and talk to me. His life was too difficult. Dean looked at me and smiled and leaned in and kissed my cheek. I felt tears dropping from my eyes. I did not want Dean to leave. Then the words he whispered to me scared me to death.
"I'm gonna die, but I love you. " He whispered softly. He turned around and started to walk away.
"Bye Lisa." He said and walked to the Impala. I stood there and watched him leave. I love him to death, and he can't even stay.
