Carlos Gets Pwned
Plenoptic
Phoenix has been having no small amount of fun tormenting poor Captain Lennox in her fic with Optimus and Arcee (the title fails me—sorry!) so I thought I'd jump on the We-Hate-Humans bandwagon XD Did Armada just because I watched a few eppys yesterday and I hacking HATE the Armada humans.
Slashtastic. I've always had a thing for OptimusXJetfire. Takes place between "Tactician" and "Link Up."
It was a scream. An earth-shattering, horrified shriek that echoed throughout the entire base, drawing the attention of its few inhabitants away from their tasks. Red Alert and Hotshot straightened from their stations, where they'd been working on the shuttle for the journey home; Scavenger, blatantly uninterested as usual, spared barely a glance upwards; Blurr arched one optic ridge, shook his head once, and went back to work; Smokescreen joined Red Alert and Hotshot in gaping as the source of the scream came sprinting down the hall.
Carlos had seemingly morphed into something of a gazelle, his freakishly short little legs carrying him in leaps and bounds over the equipment strewn all over the floor as he hurtled down the hallway. His brown curls were a tousled, bouncing mess; his arms flailed helplessly at his sides; his eyes were wide as saucers and full of tears.
"NoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOO!" He shrieked wildly as he flew past the astounded bots, barely noticing when he brutally stubbed his toe on Scavenger's opposing foot. "I'M OUTTA HERE, MAN! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I CAAAAANNNN'TTTTT TTAAAAAKKKKKEEE IIIIITTTTT!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!"
His girlish screams died down marginally as he turned the corner, leaving five bewildered Autobots gaping in his wake. Scavenger snorted and leaned back in his chair, shuttering his optics with a muttered "Whatever"; Blurr's attention, however, had been somewhat piqued, and he was surveying the surrounding area carefully.
"What could have set him off like that?" Hotshot wondered, getting heavily to his feet and scratching the back of his helm, concerned for the well-being of his little buddy. "Guys?"
"Who knows?" Red Alert answered, shrugging. "Humans are odd creatures."
"…Where are Optimus and Jetfire?" Blurr asked aloud, getting to his feet and looking about with a frown. "I would think that they'd come running if they heard Carlos screaming like that."
"Maybe they didn't hear him. It's a big base."
"You kidding?" Scavenger snorted. "I bet they heard him way back on Cybertron."
Red Alert sighed, standing up and dusting himself off. Clearly, they weren't going to get any more work done until this mystery was solved. "Alright, alright. Hotshot, Blurr, come with me. We'll figure out where the commander and vice commander are, figure out what scared Carlos, and then back down to business."
"I'm going too," Smokescreen said immediately, scrambling to get up. "I wanna know what's up."
"I've got nothing better to do," Scavenger agreed, and so all five of them trooped down the hall from which Carlos had come.
They came upon their missing comrades soon enough; the hall brought them to the residential quarters, and Optimus's door was slightly ajar.
"Well, there you have it," Red Alert said, stopping and planting his fists on his hips. "They were probably watching a war video or something and it frightened Carlos." Good. Now that that was over with, they could all get back to work…
"I don't think so," Hotshot said doubtfully, stepping around Red Alert and up to the door. He knocked lightly—"Hey, Boss? I'm coming in,"—before opening it and peering inside. His whole frame froze, a slow, rigid motion that began in his feet and worked up to his helm. He mumbled something unintelligible.
"Hotshot? What's up?" Smokescreen inquired, poking his head around his friend's shoulder. He, too, froze, leaving two mechs standing stock-still in Optimus Prime's doorway.
Red Alert released an impatient huff, stomping up to the duo. "Honestly, you two, what on Cybertron is—" He shoved them out of the way, looked into the room, and almost fainted on the spot.
Jetfire had Optimus Prime pinned up against the wall, kissing him mercilessly, one hand pinning the commander's above their heads, the other groping Prime roughly between the legs. Their crotchplates had been abandoned on the floor. Optimus was moaning into the kisses, panting and gasping, breathing Jetfire's name between lip locks. Jetfire released a low, predatory growl, leaving a firm bite against Prime's jaw before capturing his moist, warm mouth again.
Red Alert released an odd gagging noise; Scavenger poked his head in and let loose a bark of laughter. Jetfire backed off of his prey momentarily, turning to face their visitors while Optimus panted and tried to regain his composure.
"What?" Jetfire inquired, lifting an optic ridge as he toyed casually with Optimus's exposed spike. "You guys want in?"
XD
