Short drabble...

Spoilers for seasons 1 and 2!


Lelouch slumped in his chair. Tears threatened to escape his eyes but he held them back. The raven refused to shed one tear in front of Kallen and C.2. The two woman were conversing about something the former prince didn't really care about. It sounded fuzzy and distant. They both had left him alone. C.2. was the only person who knew the reason for his sudden depression.

Kallen would cast him worried glances but held the conversation.

Lelouch really didn't have the will to tell them to leave the room. All he wanted to do was sit there and do nothing else. Nothing was worth his effort at the moment.

"Zero-I mean Lelouch...are you alright?" The red-head finally asked.

Lelouch looked up at her and gave the most convincing smile he could muster. "I'm fine."

Kallen nodded but didn't look convinced. Lelouch didn't really care.

The teen didn't even say goodbye as Kallen and C.2 left the room to join Oghi and the others in the other room.

The raven's mind continued to reel back to Shirley's last words as her life faded. It was all his fault she died. If the raven never got her mixed up in the mess he was in then she would still be alive.

Even if Rolo was the one who pulled the trigger on her, Lelouch felt he killed her.

Time passed and every once and while there would be a loud knock at the door and some shouts but the former prince ignored it. He just sat there weighing the pro's and con's of going on with his life.

Would things be calmer in Area 11 if Zero committed suicide? Surely the black knights could carry on without his leadership.

How would Milly and the others react? Would they cry over his death or be happy that Zero died?

What about Susaku? Wouldn't it bring the knight joy when he learns that Euphy's murder is no longer around or would he mourn over the loss of his old friend?

The thought of Euphy made Lelouch cringe. He didn't mean to use his Geass on her. It just happened. Why did he have to tell her to kill the 11s? Would she still be alive if he never said anything? Would the Special Zone be built and successful? Then there would be no need to be Zero anymore and in turn Shirley would be alive.

Thoughts and "What ifs" continued to swirl around in his mind. Lelouch knew he had to do something to get away from the guilt that was building up inside of him. So the raven got up and went to the bathroom that branched off the main room. He flipped the light switch and stared into the mirror.

Instantly, the purple eyed teen hated what he saw.

He didn't see Lelouch but only a teen with a mask for a face. The mask was fabricated with lies. All the raven every did was lie. Lies on top of other lies and soon he didn't even know what the truth was. Lelouch had lied to everyone that was important to him. He had lied to the whole world.

The raven hit his fist hard on the counter in front of him. Why did he have to choose to have Geass? Why did he do all the things he did?

Lelouch stalked back to the main part of the room and dug around in his Zero costume. There was a handgun tucked away in one of the inner pockets. The teen couldn't help but chuckle as he looked at it.

"With this I can end it all." He laughed, eyes wide.

The barrel of the gun felt cold against his head. He slipped his finger on the trigger and stood there.

All Lelouch had to do was pull the trigger. It seemed so easy. He just had to do one simple thing and everything would end. All of his pain would end.

"Can you really do it?" A voice suddenly asked.

Lelouch frowned and turned around, finger still poised to pull. C.2 was leaning on the door with a slice of pizza in her hand.

"How long have you been there? I didn't even hear you come in!" Lelouch scowled at the witch.

"Well can you?" The girl only persisted.

"Of course I can."

"Then pull it now."

Lelouch stared at C.C for a second. Was she testing him? Why was she telling him to pull the trigger.

"If you kill yourself then you don't have to go through anything anymore, right?"

"Why are you encouraging me?" Lelouch hissed.

C.2 placed her half eaten slice of pizza on the table and walked up to the raven. "Cause I know you won't shoot."

"What do you mean? I have nothing to live for!"

"What about Nunnally? You still want to see your sister's dream become a reality don't you?"

Lelouch's gun was dropped, hitting the carpet silently. The teen sank to his knees. How could he forget about his little sister? His mind had been so fogged up with Shirley's death that he forgot why he became Zero in the first place. Why he wanted to create a new world.

So if he died then Nunnally would never have a nice, caring world to live in.

"Even if you didn't have her...you have me." C.2 whispered as she hugged the now sobbing teen.

Lelouch was ready to give up everything he had...just to see Nunnally smile again.


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