"Pain. I like it rough. Cuz I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all." - Three Days Grace - Pain
Dedicated to maya_rutledge6 on Instagram for supporting me :)
MURPHY'S POV:
The doorbell chimed open on an unsuspecting Wednesday during a thunderstorm.
Whoever braved that storm out there must've had a death wish. Our clubhouse had a backup generator so we would be fine once things escalated. Heaven help the poor souls that got tangled with it.
Bellamy glanced up from our game of pool, then eyed his girl, Clarke. "You know her?"
She came over with a frosty stein in her hand, her blonde waves shook. "Why would I know her?" Her attitude reared up.
His eyes rolled as he took a sip of his beer, he could act like he didn't love it when she sassed him all he wanted but it got him off. Trust me, I've heard it. He licked the head off his lips.
"Hey, are we going to finish the game or?" I wiped the back of my hand over my nose.
Clarke disappeared behind us.
His eyes were glued to Clarke's ass no doubt. "Might call it a night."
A silent sigh left me. He always did this. God knows I love Clarke for being a part of our family but him ditching me for her was really starting to sting. But I didn't say anything because I'd been where he was now, head over heels in love.
My eyes went to Emori behind the bar. She was enthralled in a conversation with Shaw. If they wanted to do whatever it was they were bound to do then it was no skin off my back.
She met my gaze and her smile faded a bit. Maybe she too missed what we had. Even if it went to hell in the end. Some people were meant to end up as friends. Her eyes went to the girl that walked in.
Matter of fact, most of the club had turned their attention to her.
I reached into my back pocket for my cigarettes, stuck one between my lips, and turned around. I leaned against the pool table while I lit the end of my cigarette. Smoke blew out of my lungs when I looked up.
A raven-haired woman stood soaking wet in the middle of the floor in her white dress. She shivered with her arms folded across her chest. Her olive skin looked quite pale. Dark brown eyes locked onto mine.
Thunder cracked through the sky.
Mid puff, I stopped dragging because I got caught up in her story. What business did a beautiful woman like her doing in this dumb? Why was she out in the storm? If she was from around here she would've known not to be outside.
She hadn't looked away the same way I hadn't looked away from her. Why hadn't I looked away from her?
Echo went up and put her leather around her shoulders.
My jaw tightened at the sight for some reason.
She looked down at her with a predatory gleam in her eyes. She called dibs. As archaic as it was, those were the rules.
The girl glanced up at Echo with a friendly look, but from her stiff body, she sensed the danger in the room. Good. She should be afraid.
"I'm Echo," She took the woman's hand in hers.
"What happened to you?" Clarke interrupted her from asking another question.
Echo gave her a tight look.
Octavia came up to me. "Got a minute?" She nodded toward the back. Her black bob suited her well.
My eyes slid off the raven-haired woman onto her. I put out the cigarette on the end of the pool table. We cut through the kitchen, I followed her toward the walk-in.
Once we were inside we talked quietly.
"We can't move the product tonight," She started.
I nodded. "We can."
Her brow rose. "Did you notice the tornado out there?"
"We don't move it tonight and the Nightbloods don't cut us in. We need that payday and alliance, Tay."
She gave me her look when she tired of my shit. "Don't Tay me, John. If we go out in that storm there's a chance we don't make it back. Besides, the State Police will be monitoring the bridge tonight. We can't move shit tonight."
I got into her face. "You should've thought of that before you brokered this deal for peace. You already know your brother will never go for it."
Her eyes turned determined as hell. "My brother will get over himself. Without this deal, war will inevitably come. I know that, but tonight's no good."
My teeth ground together. "I'll fucking do it myself."
"I've already called Titus. He can't even get to the drop point."
My hand flashed out against the metal shelving. "Why the fuck did you do that?" I glowered down at her.
"Because I'm not going to let you die, too." She met my gaze full on. "We can't afford to lose anyone else!"
Her reasonings were pure of heart surprisingly. She wanted to stop the bloodshed. The Nightbloods killed her first love, Finn, a few months ago. We were all still reeling from his loss. He'd been the peacekeeping, lovable dummy that had no business getting caught up in the line of fire, but he did it to prove himself to Octavia. She'd been hellbent on making sure he didn't die in vain.
My arms wrapped around her. "I gotcha, Tay." I rested my chin on top of her head.
She hugged me even though she was afraid of being perceived as weak. Her eyes looked up at me. "Promise me you won't go tonight."
I nodded. "Promise," I shivered. "Let's get out of here."
She went first, her steps paused when she saw Lincoln cooking an order behind the grille.
He stilled when he saw us coming out of the walk-in together. He tried not to glare at me.
She scoffed with a roll of her brown eyes, then marched out of the kitchen.
"Relax," I told him.
He went back to his burger with a stiff back.
I closed the door behind me, headed for the exit, and walked into one sopping wet, warm body. "Woah there," My hands went to her hips to steady her.
The raven-haired woman stared up at me in surprise with her body flush against mine. "Sorry,"
"Don't apologize,"
Her dark brown gaze felt heavy on me like I was the one dripping wet.
Clarke huffed from behind us. "Murphy, could you be a dear and get out of the way?"
I gave her a look, then cast my gaze onto the girl. "Do you want me to get out of the way?"
She faltered, then nodded. "I'm very cold."
My pride wasn't hurt at all even though I thought we had a moment.
"Right," I removed my hands and stepped aside.
Clarke ushered her toward her office and slammed the door shut behind them. It was interrogation time but Clarke did it in a way that didn't make you think you were being interrogated.
For a brief moment, I slipped into the supply closet, punched in the keycode for the safe, and shoved the product down the front of my pants.
I walked up to Bellamy.
He sulked by the bar.
"Guess you're not calling it a night after all." I poked fun.
He grunted, then scratched his beard. "New girl might make things interesting around here."
I faced the bar. "Things are always interesting around here." My eyes locked with Emori's. "Hey,"
She placed a bud light bottle in front of me. "Hey,"
I tipped it up in appreciation for the liquid that wouldn't prohibit me from fully functioning later as planned. "Thanks,"
She gave a half grin then went back to cleaning.
The beer, if you could call it that, went down easy. I leaned in toward Bellamy. "What's the play?"
"Hmm," He tore himself away from his staring match with Echo. "Are you really still talking about pool?"
His annoyance clawed at me. It wasn't about the damn game. Hell, it wasn't about the game at all. I wanted to know what he thought of this new girl coming in at a really inconvenient time, or convenient depending on how you looked at it. What got to me was that he didn't seem to get that we weren't us anymore. We used to be thick as thieves when we grew up in this joint. Lately, it seems like I'm just an end to a means to him.
"Forget it," I chugged the beer, then marched for the door.
"Hey, where you going, huh?" He called.
I pulled my keys out of my pocket and slid on my cuts that red Eden's Delinquents on the back. "Don't worry about it," I slammed the door shut behind me, put on my dome, pulled the clutch on my bike, and rode off into the pelting rain of the storm.
Driving angry was a sure fire way to eat asphalt, especially in a storm but I needed the air. I wasn't one to hold things in but with Bellamy things were different. Our daddies, daddies were the co-founders of our Motorcycle Club. They passed that birth right down to our fathers who passed it down to us. Only I didn't always want it. I still don't sometimes, but now I'm in it.
Bellamy had always been more into the whole lifestyle more than I did. He wanted to be up front and heard. I wanted to be in the shadows which weren't always possible with my government.
Growing up we'd make plans of how we were going to run things. Everything legal. Everything by the books. Now I was the one putting that in jeopardy for Tay. She'd been right there tailing behind us through the years as she tried to keep up. Hell, she was like a sister to me. So I would do this run to protect her if it meant her, Bellamy, and the rest of my family were safe.
Walking into the Nightbloods clubhouse was as nerve-wracking as I thought it would be. But the rush of danger tasted delicious on my tongue, something that came with the territory of this lifestyle.
Their Prospect greeted me with a pat down before I could come inside. If I wanted to I could kill him to send a message and that message would be that there would never be peace between us, that blood must have blood. Finn was owed that. However, Octavia's mission wasn't lost on me. So I kept up my end of the bargain.
"Why have you come?" Lexa demanded.
He whispered something in Lexa's ear, he protected his President like a lapdog at her throne.
She rose from her throne, her hazel glare beckoned me to follow her to her office with the presence of Titus.
"Speak, Delinquent." She ordered. Her eye makeup always fascinated me, the way it resembled warpaint wasn't lost on me.
I reached into my pants for the product.
Titus whipped his gun out at lightning speed. "Don't move a muscle,"
My movements seized. "Easy," I eyed Lexa. "He told you about the partnership Octavia and I are extending. I'm only here to deliver it."
The knife she twirled on the arm of the chair behind her desk stabbed into the wood. "And who exactly gave you the okay for this attempt at peace?"
Her door opened. "I did," Roan walked in.
She stared him down. "What have you done?" Her jaw clenched tight. "Who gave you the authority?!" She flung her knife at his head.
He leaned out of the way.
Turned out the target wasn't his head but a few inches to the right.
He cleared his throat. "We're expanding with our distributors and I thought their extra product would come in handy. I thought it would be a way for us to ease the tension around here. We have enough to worry about with the pigs up our ass with every move we make."
She slammed her hands down on the desk. "I'm not paying you to think, Roan. You're a part of this family because you've proven your loyalty. Now I'm not so sure you're done proving it." She stared at his Treasurer patch, then looked at Titus.
Roan came forward. "If we make this deal it's a win-win for all of us, Lexa. They get a cut so they're not competing with our customers and there's an understanding between us. We need this! And you would be a fool to think otherwise after the past few months."
Titus went at him. "You mind your tongue, boy."
Roan held him at bay.
"Enough!" Lexa demanded. She walked around her desk to step to me. "If I agree to this partnership, it has to be on a trial basis."
I nodded. "What are your terms?"
Her eyes shifted down for a moment then met mine. "No one can know besides you and Octavia. We'll have a few trial runs to test things out. If they end badly then no one would be the wiser besides us. If they go smoothly then we'll talk long-term solutions." She extended her arm.
My hand clasped around her forearm as hers did mine. "Deal." I smoothly handed over the drugs. "When should I come back?"
"You'll know," She went to her liquor cabinet. "A drink to good faith." Her tone suggested she didn't quite believe it could work but it was her duty as President to ensure the best for her Club. She poured us all shots of Bulleit Whiskey.
We toasted to our potential partnership.
Titus and Roan cleared out so we could have a private word.
"I meant what I said, Murphy. Discretion is key. If we broadcast this and it blows up in our faces then things could get a whole lot worse for both sides."
I nodded. "I'll keep up my end if you do yours. If anyone finds out about this they'll have my head after Finn."
Her eyes twinged in the slightest guilt. "If it helps any, I didn't relish in killing your friend." Her words held weight behind them so I knew she was telling the truth.
Unresolved emotion stung at my eyes but I blinked it away. "Thanks," I gave a tight grin, then made my way back to the Clubhouse with the weight of the world on my shoulders. This empty block inside of me roared up again.
I prayed that things went over as well as Octavia imagined. She wouldn't be happy about my traveling in the storm but I had something to offer her that should wipe that anger away.
Everyone quieted when I walked through the door, their eyes felt heavy on my skin. There was no way they knew about the deal. Octavia would never tell them.
Bellamy stared through me for a few moments, then offered a smoke.
We went to the back porch to puff away the things we would never talk about. The storm continued to paint the rest of our day.
"How's the girl?" I blew out a puff of smoke.
He did the same. "Clarke cleaned her up. She says she's clean. I trust her. Do you?"
My shoulders shrugged. "I don't even know the girl."
"Her name's Raven." He glanced at me. "It kind of looked like you knew her."
Raven. How fitting.
He turned toward me. "Look, we don't always see eye to eye but we're family at the end of the day. If I'm an ass you'll forgive me. You always do." He gave a slow smile in faith.
And he was right. I always did. I always would. He meant more to me than he would ever know. We were brothers but he wasn't always that for me in my mind growing up.
My eyes shifted toward the storm. "How long is she staying?"
"Until the storm passes." He put out the butt and chucked it onto the desert ground. He patted my shoulder before retreating back inside.
I blew out a heavy breath, then picked it up and threw it in the ashtray. When I turned around I was greeted by the woman. Raven. I guess I was supposed to call her Raven.
She wore what appeared to be Clarke's clothes, a pair of leather pants and a black V-neck with leather heeled boots. It didn't look out of place on her like I thought it would've. The girl in the white dress looked foreign now. And hot.
"Hi," She spoke. Her brown hair was lighter when wet and curly.
I stepped back into the safety of the porch. "Hi," I eyed her. "Sorry about before," I nodded toward the kitchen. "Sometimes I let my other head do the talking."
Her eyes narrowed a bit, she took a step forward. "Mind?" She gestured to my cigarette.
Instead of giving her her own I handed over the one from between my lips.
She gratefully took it. Her head leaned against the frame of the door when she let out a sigh. She handed it back.
Our fingers touched, a spark I hadn't felt in a long time rode its way up my hand.
I pulled back and took a drag.
She looked out at the darkened sky that became lit by lightning. "Isn't it peaceful?"
My eyes went to her. "The crack and boom of a thunderstorm are peaceful to you?"
She watched it play out with calming eyes. "Nature at work. It reminds us that we are only visitors on this planet. Nature has always found a way to correct our mistakes no matter how brutal it may seem." She glanced at me and held her hand out for more.
I passed it over. "Never thought about it like that."
Since coming back this was the first moment I felt like there wasn't a vice grip around my neck. It was nice.
My gaze landed on her.
She was already looking at me through thick lashes.
"What?" I asked with a tiny grin.
Her teeth dug into her bottom lip. "You're different than I thought you'd be."
My brow furrowed. "You mean from the ten seconds we met earlier?" I laughed a little. "Thanks, I guess."
She held a grin of her own. "All of you are different than I thought you'd be. Looks can be deceiving and all of that." She gave me back the nicotine.
"Never seen bikers before, huh?"
Her head shook. "Only in passing. And in the movies."
I grinned. "How are we holding up to in comparison?"
"A little disappointing," She teased. "Where's your ol lady?"
I leaned forward. "My ol lady?" I grinned. "What movies are you watching?"
She gave an expectant look.
"Don't have one," I answered. "Not anymore."
The breeze shifted direction and blew our way, a little drizzle dotted us. It felt refreshing.
"What about you?" I eyed her. "Break up with some poor guy? That why you were out in the storm?"
Her eyes dimmed. "You could say that."
Clearly, she didn't want to talk about it. I wasn't going to push her. She'd be out here tomorrow anyway.
To lighten the mood, I said, "Careful of Echo. She has her eye on you."
Her eyes flashed to mine. She laughed. "I noticed. The whole jacket thing freaked me out. Clarke gave it back to her."
I couldn't help but laugh at that. "I'm sure she was thrilled about that."
"I don't know. I've been hiding in the office." Her arms went across her chest as a shiver passed through her.
"I'd offer you my cuts but I don't want you to get the wrong idea." I joked.
She played along. "What idea is that?"
"That I'm genuinely offering it to you so you won't be cold and not because a primal part of me wants to claim you in some way." I wasn't sure if she'd slap me.
Her eyes ran down my body, they stopped on my colored sleeves while she tried to make out the individual tattoos.
"Got any?"
She debated whether or not to answer which intrigued me. "Don't laugh," She turned around and lifted the back of her shirt to expose the blue butterfly on her lower back above her ass.
I swallowed my laughter. "Badass."
She sunk to the floor of the entryway. "Drunken night in college. It reminds me that split decisions are sometimes permanent."
I sat with her. "You have quite the outlook on life. You grow up an only child or something?"
"Does continuous Foster Care count?" She kept her gaze out before us.
Sympathy swirled in my chest. My family had always been extended with new additions all the time. I couldn't imagine not having any sort of loved ones.
"Was it lonely?"
She nodded slowly. "Yeah," Her voice contained the strength she acquired from being on her own all her life. "Loneliness is a strange thing." Her eyes locked onto mine. "You can feel it even surrounded by people you love."
Her words struck something in me. I thought about the hole I felt earlier. It was starting to feel a lot like loneliness.
We stared at each other.
It seemed evident that she could sense what was inside of me better than my family could. Was I that obvious or was she just that good at reading people?
Our bodies used each other's heat to stay warm.
My eyes roamed over her face and landed on her mouth. "Do you feel lonely right now?" I lifted my eyes to hers.
There was curiosity in her gaze. "Surprisingly, no." She leaned into my space.
My lips tingled from her closeness. I lifted a brow.
Her hand slid onto mine. "Thanks," She plucked the rest of the cigarette from my grasp, then leaned back with a sexy smile.
"Cute,"
She extended her boots beside me. "I thought so."
We observed each other with our own grins.
"Where is it?"
I looked up to see Octavia headed our way. "Not now,"
"Yes, now." She eyed Raven. "Your room or do you want your girl to hear?"
Here we go with the theatrics.
A sigh left me. I got to my feet.
Raven offered back the cigarette.
My head shook. "Keep it," It wasn't much but it was all I really had to offer her in what would be our short time knowing each other.
"Thanks," She gave me a parting look.
I went with Octavia to my room. With the door closed behind us, I was prepared for her to rip me a new one.
Instead, she jumped on me. Her weight knocked me into the door. Her body pressed against mine.
My head hit the wood of the door. A sigh left me. "I can't keep doing this, Tay."
"I wasn't the one who started this."
She was right. One piss drunken night, it was just the two of us. I was upset about Emori, she was upset about Finn. Something made me reach forward to grab her mouth with mine...and things went from there. A few times. It wasn't ever out of some unsaid love we had for each other, just a need to stop feeling every once in a while. To not be lonely maybe.
Bellamy would kill me if he found out.
"We can't keep doing this," I whispered to her.
Her eyes misted over. "Please. Just this last time."
I hated to see her hurting. Maybe that was also some of the reason this kept happening. Hell, I needed it today too.
So I took her mouth in mine, then walked her toward my bed. The events of the day played over in my head. Out of all the craziness, the one thing that stuck in my head was Raven's words. 'Loneliness is a strange thing. You can feel it even surrounded by the people you love.'
As I laid with Octavia I wondered if that was to be my blessing or my curse.
A/N: So this really came about because one of my cool followers on my The 100 Instagram suggested I start doing AU's for my Murven aesthetic boards under my Murven biker gang board so I thought this one up. I think I'll continue this. Please leave your thoughts below or DM me. You can follow me on Instagram zaven_murven if you'd like and also on Tumblr scaliarunsmylifenowareyouhappy
