The Purity Of White
Autheress's Notes: OK! Welcome to my Neji ficcie! As promised, this fic is composed of 13 song chapters of songs (but more may be added) that I personally think should be deticated to everyone's favorite Hyuuga, Neji!
(is attacked by Hinata fans)
Ok, second favorite? Yes?
(is attacked by Neji fans)
Gah! Make up your minds! OK! One of our favorite Hyuugas! How's that?! Yeah?
(Fans back off)
Ok, then.
Song Details: This first chapter takes place when Neji is 14, but there are alot of flashbacks (it wouldn't be a Neji fic without flashbacks!) to when he was 4. This fic doesn't follow a time-line, but this chapter is pre-chuunin exam, as you probably can tell, after reading a little ways. The song is "I Must Be Dreaming," by Evanescence. You should find a way to listen to the song while reading this... I didn't, I just read lyrics, but it's Evanescence, so it's gotta be good. If you have heard it... please forgive me if my timing's off...
Disclaimer: I don't the NARUTO series, but I do own Neji's soul (snicker snicker). I don't own Evanescence, but I wish I did. I only changed ONE word in this song... So please no sueing. I had to change it to make it make sense!
Reading Key:
Lyrics (bold and slanted)
Thoughts, flashbacks, dreams
"Speaking"
(Time difference; location change)
Japanese Dictionary:
nii-san: brother; a title given to a close friend; i.e.: Naruto calling Kabuto "nii-san." It's a term of non-gay intimacy.
nee-san: sister; i.e.: Hinata-nee-san; see nii-san
jii-san: uncle; i.e.: Hiashi-jii-san
tousan: father; can be used by it's self, or with a name attached; i.e.: Hiashi-tousan; but that would be to a parent you don't like
kaasan: mother; see tousan
-kun: -dear, speaking plainly; a term of intimacy, love, etc. to someone you know well, or care about; i.e.: Sasuke-kun; can also be used to insult those older then you
-chan: -honey, -dear; a term given to small children; i.e.: Hanabi-chan; can also be used like -kun, to a loved one
-san: Mr, Miss; used as a term of respect to an admired one; i.e.: Sakura-san; can also be used formally; i.e.: Kazekage-san
-dono: another term for Mr or Miss, but in a much more formal way; i.e.: Kaoru-dono
-sama: term of utmost respect; used to referre to royal people, or those in much higher rank then you; i.e.: Hinata-sama
I'm not aware of any other words I'm going to use, but, if I do... I'll let you know.
P.S.: To anyone who actually read this, I (heart) U!
Chapter One:
I Must Be Dreaming
Neji hummed happily to himself, straightening the bandages around his head; he didn't really need to wear them anymore; the mark on his forehead had healed already. He just thought they looked cool. Plus, he'd gotten used to them, and putting them on in the morning had become a morning ritual.
When he graduated from the Ninja academy, he would wear his forehead protector over it, just like his dad.
Tousan is so cool! the four-year-old Neji thought to himself, thinking of his amazing, all-knowing father. I'm going to be just like him when I grow up!
"Neji-kun!" Someone banged on the door to Neji's room.
"Hai?" Neji ran over and opened the door; it was early morning, and he had energy. "Oh... Senzumi-ojii-san?" He opened the door wider to reveal his uncle.
"Neji-kun, you have to come with me," Senzumi ordered.
"Why?" Neji was growing curious.
"It's your father!"
Senzumi's tone was enough to worry Neji; he pushed past his uncle, running down the hall to his father and mother's room. Senzumi yelled after him, but Neji didn't care.
Tousan! Tousan, what's wrong? Neji thought desperately, running for all he was worth; why did his room have to be across the house from his parents'?!
How can I pretend that I don't see
Neji pushed open the door to his parents' room. "Tousan!" His large, white eyes widened immeadiately.
What you hide so carelessly?
"Tousan!" Neji ran over to his father's bed; his mother was on the other side, crouched over herself, sobbing. No... "Tousan!" Neji crouched down next to his father's quiet form. "Tousan!"
I saw him bleed
Neji grabbed his father's hand and shook it. "Tousan! Wake up!" Neji felt his own breath quicken when he felt none rise in his father's chest. "Tousan!" Breathing suddenly became hard; why wouldn't he wake up?!
You heard me breathe
"Neji," Hiashi began, stepping forward to place a hand on Neji's shoulder, but his young nephew swatted it away.
"Leave me alone!" Neji shouted, forgetting all respect and formality towards the Head Family. He turned back to his father. "Tousan! Tousan!" He grabbed his father's sleeping robes and shook him. "Tousan, wake up!" His finger's brushed against his father's skin; it was cold... so cold... too cold.
And I froze inside myself
Neji slowly stood up, backing away from the bed; his mother automatically straightened her husband's robes, but her sobbing didn't stop. This was a dream... No, not a dream... They were playing a game, weren't they? Yeah, a game. A sick, stupid game...
And turned away
"Neji," Hiashi tried again. "Your father... my brother..." His voice grew suddenly strained, as if saying what he was about to say was hard. "He's... dead..."
Neji's eyes widened even more. "N... You're... You're lying!" he shouted, clamping his hands over his ears, as if to block out the sound.
"Neji--"
"NO! TOUSAN! TOUSAN!" And, slowly, with the word 'tousan' on his lips...
Neji fainted
I must be dreaming
"Gah!" Neji woke from his dream with a start, sitting up straight in bed. "What..." He looked around; he was in his room, in his bed; the sun was creeping through the trees into his room; it was morning. But he could have sworn...
Oh, right... Just a dream... Neji put a hand over his forehead; his fingers met the soft dent of the seal, but he'd gotten used to that. Gods, why couldn't it have been a dream then, too?
We all live
Neji got up and went to his full-length mirror (some people might think it was unmanly to have a full-length mirror in one's room, but Neji needed it for daily hairing checking) and looked at himself.
We all die
He'd changed alot over the years; he'd gotten taller, for one thing; his hair had gotten longer; his face had matured considerably; his still large, white eyes no longer betrayed emotions: in short, he looked almost exactly like the thing he hated most in his entire life: Hiashi-sama.
That does not begin to justify you
Neji glared at his reflection and went into his bathroom to begin his morning ritual of showering and getting dressed (SNG: KYAH! -grabs a towel and follows- Kyuubi: -grabs back of SNG's shirt- And where do you think you're going?). Ever since he'd begun his teen years, Hiashi had agreed to have a bathroom built especially for Neji, so he wouldn't have to continue to share one with Hinata and Hanabi; it could be embarrassing.
It's not what it seems
He tossed his sleeping-robe into the hamper and turned on the water; after finding his favorite temperature (not too hot, and not too cold), he turned on the shower-function and got in, pulling the curtain closed behind him.
Not what you think
The water pelted gently down on Neji's legs and chest and everything in between; he put one hand by the shower head to support himself so he could think. The images from that morning, when he was four, was still fixated in his mind; for some reason, his sleep-memory refused to let it go.
No I must be dreaming
Maybe because I can't let it go, myself, he thought grimly, tilting his head back so the water could reach his neck. I just wish it wasn't really... real... I'm sick of convincing myself it's not, when it is...
It's only in my mind
Neji ducked his head under the water, letting his hair get soaked, too, and grabbed his shampoo. Damn Head Family, he thought angrily, pouring soap in his hands and lathering them up. He took his head out from under the water and began to lather up his hair. Damn heartless bastards! He washed out the soap, scrubbing his scalp with his blunt nails, and took his conditioner.
Not in real life
After putting the conditioner in his hair, he stood with his back against the shower wall to think, since the stuff needed three minutes to work, anyway. He closed his eyes, remembering the look on his mother's face when he'd shaken his father. No one should have to see that look on their mother's face, he thought angrily. It's just not right.... But don't worry, Kaasan... I'm stronger then them, anyway.
No I must be dreaming
With these 'comforting' thoughts in his mind, Neji washed out the conditioner and finished washing the rest of him, then got out of the shower and started getting dressed. No training today with the squad, he thought absently, discarding his usual beige shirt and black shorts and picking up a training gi. After pulling it on, he also put on a black indoor robe, but left it untied. Fixing his hair and putting on his forehead protector, he stepped out into the hall.
He raised an eyebrow; Hinata was standing in the open hallway (meaning it was outside, with no wall except for the one with Neji's room and the others near his, and a ceiling; you know the ones...), starring at her feet with her hands behind her back, as usual. She looked up when he came out. "N-Neji-nii-san..."
"Hinata-sama." He nodded politely, not moving from his doorway. What does the brat want now? He suppressed a glare.
"Um..." She looked away; he noticed she was wearing a training gi, as well. "I was... Um... wondering if you would... would... help me train?" She glanced back at him.
Neji hid a scoff. "I have things to do today," he answered, walking past her down the hall.
"B-B-But...!" she began to protest. "You're the best with the Byakugan... I just..."
"Flattery will get you nowhere with me, Hinata-sama," Neji said over his shoulder at her before turning a corner and out of her sight.
Help
Damn her... Too weak to do anything on her own... Neji shook himself out of his broodings when he heard footsteps; he glanced up. "Hiashi-sama," he said politely to his uncle.
You know I've got to tell someone
"Hello, Neji," Hiashi said bluntly before walking past.
Tell them what I know you've done
Neji knew better then to glare at his uncle's back; Hiashi's Byakugan would see him, and then he'd be in trouble. So, Neji settled with angry thoughts. That ass. Thinks he can look down on me just because I'm from the Branch Family... He should be worried... I bet no one but the Head Family and the Branch Family and the Hokage know what happened that day... I could tell the world! Neji caught himself. Hell, no, he'd probably kill me... Or... Neji touched his head protector. ...Use that Jutsu...
I fear you but spoken fears can come true
Neji made his way through the woods behind the house to the training grounds; he'd vent his rage on a punching log.
We all live
Neji nodded bluntly to Hanabi, Hinata's younger sister, who was already training there, on one of the other logs. She smiled brightly and waved. "G'morning, Neji-nii-san!"
"Good morning, Hanabi-sama," Neji replied, going to his own log, across the field from Hanabi's; she had a tendency to look upon him as a god because he was older then her, and it got annoying.
We all die
Damn Head Family, Neji thought, kicking the log, making a loud THOK noise. Damn Hiashi-sama. THOK. Damn Hinata-sama. THOK. Damn Hokage. THOK. DAMN YOU ALL! THOK!
That does not begin to justify you
(Later That Day)
Neji stretched his arm slightly, coming back in from the training field. Nothing like twelve hours of nonstop training to take your mind off things. He raised an eyebrow as he neared his room; his team-mate, TenTen, was leaned up against the wall outside his door, waiting for him. Oh god...
"Hi, Neji!" she called when she saw him, waving cheerfully.
"Hello, TenTen." Neji reached into the pocket of his sleave and took out his key, going to his door (A/N: I have a robe like this, with the sqaured sleaves, and they're really handy for keeping small things in).
It's not what it seems
"Guess what?" TenTen asked, standing in the doorframe to his room; Neji knew he wasn't supposed to answer, so he didn't. "My little sister's school is having a carnival, and she got me tickets!" She held up the slips of paper.
Neji's eyes rolled. Not again.
Not what you think
"So, do you want to go?" TenTen asked, smiling. "I don't want to waste my ticket!"
"Iie." Neji took off his indoor robe (which he had actually worn outside) in his closet. "Ask Lee."
No I must be dreaming
TenTen frowned at him angrily. "How come you never want to go anywhere with me? All you do is sit in your room, or train on your log when you don't have to be with our squad. We're going to take the Chuunin exam soon, you need to cut it out with your stupid angst stuff so we can work well together as a--"
It's only in my mind
She was cut off as Neji suddenly appeared before her in a whirl of speed, slamming his hand on the door frame, barely an inch away from her head. "Shut up," he growled into her shocked face. "Shut up. Get out of my house."
TenTen backed out of the door frame and into the hall; she was used to seeing Neji mad, but this appeared to be an exception: he was furious. "I-I'll see you tomorrow at training, then," she stammered. "Bye, Neji." She walked out off the open hallway to the path leading back to the main village of Konoha.
Not in real life
Neji growled to himself, slamming his door shut and turned, glaring at nothing. 'Stupid angst stuff'?! 'Stupid angst stuff'?! Neji aimed a kick at his night stand. ...Ow... He sat down on his bed, glaring at his knees. Stupid angst stuff, my ass. I don't have any angst, anyway, he added haughtily. He frowned and grabbed his dictionary. At least, I don't think I do...
No I must be dreaming
"Angst: (n) an acute but unspecific feeling of anxiety; usually reserved for philosophical anxiety about the world or about personal freedom," Neji read aloud softly. He scoffed, slamming the huge book shut and throwing it across the room. "Like hell I have angst. Damn her." However, against his own wishes, his eyes soften sadly. Tousan...
Neji woke up with a start, his eyes meeting the ceiling of his room. "Tousan!" he cried, sitting up at once, his thoughts still on the moment he'd passed out in. His head reeled from the sudden movement, but he didn't lay back down. His mother was sitting at his bedside, waiting for him to wake up. His eyes widened when he saw her. "Kaasan!" he cried, grabbing a fistful of blankets. "Kaasan, where's Tousan?!"
Not what it seems
Her eyes widened briefly, and she quickly looked away. "Neji-chan..."
"Well?!" he shouted, impatient with her stalling. "Where is he?! You better tell me the truth, Kaasan! This isn't funny!"
Not what you think
She shook her head, her long, dark hair falling into her eyes. "No... No, it's not, Neji-chan..."
"Well?!" he shouted again. "Tell me, already! Kaasan, this isn't funny!"
I must be dreaming
She whispered something incoherent, as if, for that brief second, her voice had failed her. "Neji-chan... He's..."
Just in my mind
"Yeah?!" Neji glared at her. What was so hard?!
"Neji-chan..." she began again. "I... I want you to wear these..." She picked a piece of cloth off its folded place on her knees.
Neji's eyes widened.
Not in real life
Funeral robes.
I must be dreaming
Next Chapter: Hold On
Neji, age 5, spies on Hiashi and Hinata sparring. What he sees both horrifies him and surprises him; "the pain you cannot bear"
Well, what you think??? Sorry if the lyrics didn't fit the scene... I found a track of the song on Launch, and if you listen to it while you read it, the music will sort of make everything make sense... Sort of...
Jazzywolf asked for a TenTen/Neji pairing (well, hinted was more like) so I put a little of that in. I don't particularly like TenTen with Neji, although I will read fictions about them, if they're well-written. Sometimes I read stuff where the tense changes without warning, or the grammer is bad (even though I can't spell without my spell-check, I can do grammer, ok) and it annoys the hell out of me. But I like when a fic is well-written. And when everything is clear and meaning is easy to understand.
One pairing I HATE though, is Neji/Hinata. I cannot STAND it. It's incest, which is wrong, and plus, get it through your heads, people:
HE HATES HER!
Well... hated... but still!
Ah, well, I read one of those every once and a while, if it's by someone I know. Otherwise, I don't like it.
Oh, yeah, the newsletter... I like doing this letter thing... makes me feel all professional.
SNG'S LITTLE FAN FICTION NEWSLETTER:
ATTENTION CATHARSIS READERS!!
Due to the fact that Catharsis has gotten NO reviews whatsoever since I updated it, and due to the fact that the amount of reviews it has is pitiful, I will be removing it on January 1st. This is your last chance to go read it, if you liked it. And I don't care if people say "Oh, but it's so good, you should keep it up!" To be honest, I don't care; if it was so good, I'd have more reviews.
Growing Up Sand Nin Style is now officially posted. Please go read! I'm very proud of it... But if you haven't read Bozenjishitsu or A Night To Remember, it might be confusing... but, if you have, here's the summary:
Summary: If you think Gaara's childhood was weird, how do you think it would be for his SON?? Kankurou and Gaara let their children out lose in the world... Learning life's lessons the hard way. (Non-yaoi/shonen-ai)
ALSO: The holiday newsletter will be back with the next installment of all chapters for my fictions. Please let me know if you have a birthday during this time (sorry, I haven't been keeping a list... but I will now!) or if there are any new manga releases and/or Holiday fictions out there worth while.
Birthdays:
Jazzywolf (12-29)
KageNoKatana (11-29)
Jasmine Starlight (11-20)
(Sorry I sorta goofed...)
Manga Releases:
Rave Master, Vol. #12: I watched a bit of the anime for this, and I liked it alot, so, yeah, you guys should seriously consider getting (or begging for) this manga!
Rurouni Kenshin, Vol. #9: Do I need to say anything? Kenshin is awesome. Just get it, for cryin out loud!
Naruto, Vol. #6 (?): Yeah. Just get it. Neji's in it! Finally! (heart) So are Kankurou, Gaara, and all the other nins who weren't in the first four novels, but who you all know about. It's a very good manga (you should know that, I mean, you're reading this fic!)
