Another prompt!fic for Sara which could take place after Fashion Crisis (if you wanted it to). Tissue warning.


Sharon held the badge lightly in her fingers and stared at it reverently. So much had happened in such a short span of time that she was in a tailspin. She couldn't understand how the night had gone from a perfect date to this. She couldn't understand how a supposedly routine hit-and-run could have ended with one of her officers in the hospital.

She ran her fingers over the cool metal of the badge and bit her lip, forcing the tears back before they had a chance to escape the barricades of her lashes. It shouldn't have happened.

She barely noticed Provenza lowering himself into the seat beside her, just like she barely noticed her surroundings anymore. The waiting room seemed cold, empty. She frowned at the thought; maybe it wasn't the waiting room at all, maybe it was just her. She unconsciously pulled her thick black cardigan more tightly around her body.

"You did everything right y'know." Provenza moved his hand as if to touch her before seeming to think better of it and scratched awkwardly at his knee. "By the book."

Sharon snorted and wiped angrily at the tears that had fallen to her cheeks. "Yes, because following the rules always works out so well." She replied sarcastically, the edges of the badge bit into the palm of her hand as her fingers tightened around it.

Provenza sighed, "Captain," when she made no response he took her hand in his and held it, "Sharon, it's not your fault." He emphasised each word and nodded at her supportively when her tired, red eyes turned and caught his. A lump grew in his throat as he held her gaze; the normally shining green of her irises had faded to a dull grey, devoid of flair and life. She nodded back, numbly, unfeeling, and Provenza knew she only did it to placate him.

The sound of approaching footsteps made Sharon's head whip around so fast, Provenza was afraid she would give herself whiplash. She was on her feet before the doctor had a chance to make sure he was talking to the right people.

"We're ready for you." He said softly, the tone of his voice an all too familiar one. Sharon followed the doctor through the hospital's corridors on shaky legs, with only Provenza's hand on her back and the thought of seeing Andy's face to keep her going.

There were wires and machines everywhere. The steady beeping of the cardiac monitor, the rhythmic whooshing of the mechanical ventilator were the only sounds to be heard in the otherwise quiet room. Sharon moved to the side of the bed and leaned over it carefully, brushing her fingers over Andy's pale cheek letting them linger on his lips. Cool tears fell from her eyes and pooled below his closed eyelashes and for a moment she thought they were his.

"I'm sorry," She whispered, pressing her lips to his forehead just below the edge of the bandage that circled his head, "I should have ordered you to wait. I should have done a lot of things." She shakily pushed her hair behind her ears and rested her cheek against his. "I should have told you how grateful I was when you supported me, how you made me feel like I belonged there, I should have told you…" she couldn't bring herself say the three words that she had been putting off for weeks because it wasn't a good time. She knew, as she nodded to the doctor that it was time, as he turned off the life support machine, as she waiting for the beeping and the whooshing to stop with Provenza's hand grasping her shoulder, her hand holding Andy's badge like it was the only thing keeping her grounded, she knew, that she would hate herself for it until it was her turn to leave.