Disclaimer: I don't own The Rocky Horror Picture Show


A/N: Here's another story. Hopefully I'll be able to write it out completely. I've got quite a few ideas for it. I should probably note that most of the ideas about the Romans are 'realistic' things I made up. Also, the cover has screenshots of the TV series I, Claudius on it. Patricia Quinn played Livilla and Patrick "Captain Picard" Stewart played Lucius Aelius Sejanus. Though the whole cast was awesome (John Hurt as Caligula, Brian Blessed as Augustus, and so on).

This is rated 'M' for Livilla's son cursing terrible, dirty jokes, and (probably) sex later on. Very Roman indeed.


31AD

It was a perfectly lovely September day. The cruel heat of summer had faded, yet winter's iciness still hadn't set in. All those in the city Rome - from the most pathetic slave to overfed senators - were enjoying this. Well, all except three.

A beautiful woman, her dear betrothed, and a 12-year-old son from from a previous marriage were engaged in what we might call a "domestic" (not the sort with red hair). The betrothed was condemned to death for crimes which the woman had aided in. The son had been ignored by most and was sulking in the corner. They needed a plan of what to do.

"This is all your fault, Lucius! If only-"

"You went along with it from the start. And it's because slaves talk under torture, not because of a mistake, that this failure happened. So don't go blaming me, missy!" he growled in reply.

"Any more of this and I'll withdraw from your bed!" she threatened.

"Any more of this and we'll both be dead. Not to mention you'd be the one wanting to return to my room as soon as possible."

"He has a point, mummy," the twelve-year-old pointed out. "And I don't just mean abour the first half."

"That's enough from you, Gemellus!" the woman shrieked.

There was silence for a moment. Nobody knew what to say. The man, Lucius, collapsed into a nearby chair and glared at the woman.

"Livilla... why in Jove's sacred name did I trust you?" he muttered, eventually.

She rolled her eyes. "I thought we established this wasn't any of our faults. We did what seemed right, slaves talked, and now everything has sort of gone downhill..."

"I need someone to blame! They say woman can be as prone to betrayal as slaves. Though your fanatical devotion to me makes such an idea highly unlikely," Lucius said unhappily.

"And I'll be dead two years before I get to wear a toga," Gemellus lamented.

Lucius rolled his us. "Oh, shut up Gemellus. They'll probably keep you around."

"Lucius! Don't give him false hope!" Livilla scolded.

Then, somehow, the boy laughed. "You guys are fucking weird."

"Gemellus! What did I tell you about repeating words you see written in graffiti?" Livilla said, shaking her head in disgust.

At this point Lucius had sort of given up. There wasn't any logical way out of this. At least Livilla would be faithful to him. Though that boy Gemellus would probably continue on as a sullen teenager, then die an alcoholic someone in the provinces. That boy had no ambition and no sense of optimism. No wonder he had few friends and was usually forgotten.

The unhappy family of three stood (well, sat, in Lucius' case) there for a while. Nobody had any idea of what to do.

Then something extraordinary happened. Many centuries in the future a group of eccentric people from another planet had come to earth. They'd built some sort time machine that didn't work so well. When they attempted to send someone back in time – that someone being their 'master', who wanted to attend a party from centuries ago – they managed to bring three people forward in time.

Those three landed in the 'lab'. This was a pink room with a starry ceiling. Various devices cluttered the room and there seemed to be soot on the floor. Machines that went 'ping', crackling telsa coils, a blue police box, …

Since there had been an explosion the three aliens involved in the experiment were hiding beneath a nearby table. The three Romans didn't notice them because of this.

"By Juno's fucking cunt!" Gemellus cried out in shock.

"What did I say about cursing?" Livilla growled.

Lucius rolled his eyes. "When I was his age I said the same sorts of things, Livilla. And he has the right to swear severely out of shock. This place is strange indeed and he's only 12."

He's your son, you should discipline him, Livilla thought. The boy was really Lucius' son, though everyone thought the boy's father was Livilla's late husband Drusus. This was a reasonable assumption because she'd been married to Drusus at that point in time. Though her affair with Lucius had begun by then. It should've been clear to Drusus, who'd been avoiding her at the time, that there wasn't any way he was the father of Gemellus and Gemellus' dead twin. Men were so terrible with math!

"Hello?" Lucius shouted.

That's when a man in a corset, fishnets, and far too much makeup crawled out from beneath a table. Somehow his clothes weren't that messy. The three Romans hadn't ever seen that before.

"What are you?" Gemellus asked rudely.

"My name is Dr. Frank N. Furter and I am a scientist. And hobby drag queen, as you might've noticed," he explained smoothly in an accent unknown to the Romans. It was rather dramatic, whatever it was.

"I'm Livilla, this here is my lover Lucius, and that boy sulking broodily is my son Gemellus."

"Call me 'Mel'," Gemellus said. "It takes less time to say."

"And I'd prefer if you call me by my full name. That is, Lucius Aelius Sejanus."

Frank smiled a cat-like smile. "Well, then. How do you do?"

It was then that the two other aliens crawled out from beneath the table. They happened to be a hunchback in a tattered suit and his sister, a redhead in a maid's outfit. Both happened to be more soot covered than their 'master'.

"A better question… Master… is probably: why are you here?" said the handyman.

"Why are you three lovely people here?" Frank asked, still smiling.

"How the hell should we know?" Gemellus grumbled.

"I'm sorry for all of his cursing, sir. It's a dreadful habit of his," Livilla said, blushing.

"Oh, it's fine. I have no interest in associating with anyone under the age of 16 so I hardly took notice of him,"

Lucius chuckled cheerfully. "You're better off than my boss, then. The stories I could tell about his sex life. It's disgusting."

Even Frank looked a bit unnerved by this. "Well. Magenta, could you go find some refreshments? I think we should go to the parlor for a more formal chat about who these new guests really are and where the men buy those dresses they're wearing."

"Yes, Master," the maid replied through gritted teeth.

She then left the room via an elevator. The handyman – her brother – followed her.

Lucius cleared his throat. "These aren't dresses, Frank. These are just what men wear where we're from. I suppose things are different here…"

"Oh, they are," Frank said happily, leading them all onto the elevator.


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