Lmfao ok so John and Sherlock are just getting home from a long day of solvin mysteries n shit and they almost died like twice. Each. So obviously theyre even closer to each other than they were before this big mystery because of how much it put them through together. At this point theyre just about as close as they can get without being literally attached at like the hip or some shit

Anyway yea theyre getting home and Sherlock takes off his scarf and leaves it on the table and is all like "tallyho I best get myself to bed cause im bORED with this life of being awake."

Sherlock never likes to admit that he's just tired like any other human being cause hes a special fuckin cornflake okay.

Now see the scarf is important here because lil john comes in after Sherlock and sees it just sittin there and is like "hm" and he sniffs it and takes it up to bed with him.

The next morning Sherlock is havin a crap attack all over the fuckin place like 'WHICH BLOODY WANKER TOOK MY BLOODY SCARF" but the crap attack suddenly ends when he realizes he hasn't heard mrs Hudson come through at all this morning and that jOHN is the only other suspect.

Little known fact: john has the sleep schedule of the average teenage boy on a Saturday. So he was still out cold man.

Sherlock storms to johns room to find john asleep, wearin the scarf.

But it was only the scarf. And his lil red panties

At which point Sherlock is like "o" and tiptoes off to get his morning tea and biscuit.

About halfway through his cup of tea he decides that hes bored again so he just whips out his gun like its nobodys business and shots the ceiling.

John wakes abruptly and runs out into the dining room like "shIT NIGGA THE FUCK U DOIN" and sherlocks like "lol morning homo" and Johns like "what" and Sherlock gestures the gun nonchalantly to the fact that he was still in the fukin red panties and had the scarf wrapped around him.

"…..i was cold that's why I needed ur scarf" and Sherlock was like "mhm but the panties are cute ill give u that. Just get yourself cleaned up we have business to take care of today." John still looks bewildered at the enigma of a man he has let into his life. "K um thanks" he says and scurries back to his room softly saying "no homo" under his breath. Sherlock hears this. Sherlock hears all.

so theyre drivin along and johns like "o heres your scarf lol u might want it its kinda chilly up in hurr" and sherlocks like "no… keep it its urs now" and johns like "o gee golly thanks."

After like 15 minutes of driving johns like "um where are we going anyway u never told me you were just kinda like 'TO ADVENTURES' and hopped in the car you didn mention a setting or case at all" and sherlocks like "oops silly me I forgot to mention that I got a call for a murder case," to which john replies "w o w what a fuCKIN SURPRISE"

To calm the mood john decided to put in his favorite Swedish hip-hop cd to listen to in the player. Sherlock never heard this music before so naturally he was like 'THE FUCK BRUH" and johns like "DON'T BE DISSIN DA PHAT SWEDISH BEATS BITCH." Sherlock decides to keep quiet about johns music choices. He realizes that this personal expression of odd taste is a sign of john growing fonder and more comfortable with him.

So they get to the murder scene in the second floor of a house and it's this kid who looks like 17 years old laying face down on the floor. Sherlock puts on his rubber prostate exam gloves and analyzes the corpse. He reached into the coat pocket and pulls out a red mass of fabric. He unfolds it to find that it's a standard red hunting hat. He then examines the hair follicles of the corpse and notices a high quantity of grey hair for someone so young.

"SWEET MOTHER OF DICKS" Sherlock exclaims, 'THIS MUST HAVE BEEN THE BIGGEST FUCKING NERD EVER." John gives a questioning glance and asks "um why tho."

"john," Sherlock replies, "This is a Fuckin Holden Caulfield cospla-" suddenly they hear frantic footsteps running up the stairs accompanied by various pleas from investigators that this is a crime scene.

It's the fucking Doctor.

"SHIT WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT GETTING YOUR SCRAWNY ASS IN THE TARDIS BEFORE SOME OTHER ROGUE-ASS NIGGA SNEAKS IN," the doctor screams at the lifeless body, which, evidently, wasn't much more capable of following orders when it was alive.

"DAVID TENNANT WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE" Sherlock asks, rather flabbergasted by all of this. (it is to be noted that this is not actually the doctor it's just the actor david tenant because timelords aren't real and neither is santa claus)

"wellllllll I was in the 40's and I was like yo sup holden hows life and he was like 'it sucks a lot' and im like lmfao o yea I forgot. Well u wanna go make it interesting and he's like 'sure why not lmao just gimme a sec to call my sister' and im like dube hurry anyone else can get in the tardis rn but he diDN'T LISTEN TO ME AND FUCKIN STRADLATER GOT IN and they were chasin each other around town here for a while until stradlater caught him up here and shanked his sorry ass and ran off."

"Um," John begins, "there is no knife wound in this corpse."

"Also," Sherlock adds, "Holden Caulfield is a fictional character."

The Doctor pauses for a second as if he is almost snapping out of some sort of trance. However, it becomes evident that he is still not completely there mentally when he replies with a loud, sudden "well yea, no sHIT SHERLOCK."

In perfect sync, Sherlock and Watson say, "leave."

Then David Tennant scurries off, soon exploding from his own laughter at such an elaborate pun setup.

Eventually the end of the day arrives and the guys go home, tired from all the shit they had to go through today. They had to wait in line at starbucks for like an hour after all the David Tennant bullshit too. Can you fucking believe THAT?

Without hesitation, John happily took Sherlock's scarf to bed with him again. Sherlock sighed to himself as he wrote himself a note to get a new one for himself. That was his only scarf.