Disclaimer: The characters you recognize described herein are the property of Julian Fellowes and ITV. No copyright infringement is intended.
Personal Note: I am not a writer, this is my first ever fan fiction entry and certainly my first ever M writing. Please read and review, but don't be too harsh! Thank you. I hope you enjoy it.
Forgetting Fear
Mary had woken up early to find her legs tangled lovingly with her husband's. She couldn't help but smile to herself at her body's dull ache as the memory of the previous night's activities flooded her thoughts. She had never known such completion and satisfaction as making love with her husband. She gazed over at him and had to admit how cute he was when he was completely passed out on his side, mouth slightly agape, eyelids fluttering, breath heavy. But no matter how peaceful he looked, no matter how warm his naked body was against hers, and no matter how much she wanted to give him his rest, she couldn't help but be impatient for him to wake again. In sleep, part of him felt so far away from her and she longed to see his pale blue eyes gazing into hers again.
Deciding not to wake her dear Matthew, Mary carefully extracted herself and got out of bed, quickly wrapping herself in her dressing gown. She went to the nearby window and stared out, deep in thought, as she often used to start her day at Downton. They had only been married a week but it left her with such a confusing feeling. Everything felt so wonderful and new, yet at the same time it felt old in it's ease. She could not easily forget that it was such a long journey for them to arrive at this place. She had loved him for so long, and waited for so long, that even though she had him now her heart still ached from its wear.
Matthew had woken not long after he felt her shifting out of bed. He quietly watched her graceful movement as she rose from bed, not giving himself away, so he could continue to admire her. He had to admit he wished she hadn't put on her dressing gown. He had fond feelings for her derriere, and all her lovely features truthfully. It didn't take too long, though, until he felt too far from her and wanted to be in on her thoughts and have her in his arms again. He grabbed the coverlet from the bed and snuck up behind her, wrapping it around the both of them as he approached her. Mary sighed, leaning back into him, smiling to herself as his arms snaked around her slender waist. Her arms came up to cover his gently. To her delight she could feel that he did not put on his own dressing gown when he got out of bed. She was very pleased since their wedding to discover that her husband was not very modest and was content to spend his private time with her in the nude, encouraging her to join him. Indeed he inspired her to engage in all sorts of improper behavior.
Matthew placed his head on her shoulder but he didn't keep it there for long as the hands at her waist began to move. He smoothly untied the sash at he waist and grazed his hands down her belly as he separated the robe, causing her to shiver. He stepped back for only a moment to pull the robe from her shoulders and let it fall at her feet. It felt like eternity to her before he swept her lose hair over the front of her shoulder and he pressed his lips softly against her shoulder blade in three tender, gentle, open mouth kisses. His breath was hot against her skin as he whispered good morning to his love. His hands gently brushed her sides, hovering over the sides of her breasts before taking his thumbs and grazing her sensitive nipples, eliciting a gasp from her. His hands returned to her waist, one hand anchoring her to him, the other slowly drifting south. She had to admit she was glad he was so tightly pressed against her, holding her upright as her knees were beginning to weaken at the feeling of his arousal pressing behind her. She couldn't help the hand that drifted it's way up and grasped at his beautiful thick hair, tugging his face so she could see his eyes and give him a kiss as his fingers dipped down and parted her folds. It wasn't long before she pulled away and her head fell back against his shoulder. Her eyes slammed shut as he found her aching clit with his thumb and inserted two fingers into her wet heat, bringing her to a swift, panting climax while crying out his name. It took her a moment to recover before she turned around and pulled him into a passionate kiss of love and gratitude. It was hard to ignore his arousal pressing into her belly. Her hand drifted down his chest and when she reached her target she slowly stroked him while deepening her kiss.
With great difficulty, Matthew pulled back and placed both hands on the sides of her face, forcing her to look at him. "Darling, what were you thinking about when you woke this morning? What are you feeling?"
Mary stared into his face. She felt so many things, at both his actions and his words. What was she feeling? Love. Trust. Passion. Certainly. She knew that she could be honest with him above all people. That it was okay to let him see her fully and truly, so she answered him. "Scared."
She immediately noted the confusion and concern in his face, and continued "I was thinking how I have lost you once, and come so close to losing you many other times. And now I have you, I know what it's like to make love to you and dream of children, to talk of the future, wake up beside you and talk of whatever we'd like. I know you think I am strong, a storm braver, but I don't believe I am strong enough to survive ever losing you again. Not now that I have shared all I have with you. I'm scared to lose you, when I think of everything that had to happen for us to get here I realize how fragile it all is."
Matthew could see the tears in her eyes and she spoke and quickly moved to wipe them away. He couldn't help but smile at her words. To know she felt as desperate and passionate as he did to always be with her now that they were finally, finally together.
"My darling," he replied, "I have no question that you are my one true love. You said it yourself, so many things had to happen in order to find ourselves here and that is proof enough of it's truth. You have to trust that we can work things out together. We have fought to get here and I, for one, intend to fight until my dying day to stay here with you. But you cannot be afraid of the future or you will miss out on all the wonderful moments greeting us in the present. I love you so much. Please just let me love you."
With that he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. Despite the distraction of their conversation his arousal had not waned and he was still filled with lust for his beautiful wife. He felt sweet relief that it hadn't seemed to go unnoticed by her either. She gently placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed him back until his knees hit the bed, pushing him on his back. She allowed herself a moment to admire the sizeable aroused length of his cock which was reaching for her and then swiftly limbed on top of him, one leg on either side of waist.
"Let me love you" she finally replied as she bent down to kiss him; wasting no time she reached to guide him to enter her. They both gasped loudly at the joyful sensation of finally being joined after their passionate confessions. They felt utterly complete. Matthew loved the way her hair fell around her face, the way her breasts bounced and blushed with her exertions, he couldn't help but sit up a little to take one of her peaks into his mouth, sucking her nipples gently as she rode him. Mary could feel their arousal dripping down her thighs. She loved watching him suck on her and feeling him as deep inside of her as he could go. Matthew could feel her wet heat spreading and he could feel sweat beginning to form on her skin as his hands skimmed down her back to grasp her behind and help guide her, offering counter thrusts which caused her panting to speed and her moans to deepen. He begged her to open her eyes and look at him as he reached around to find her clit, she struggled to keep her eyes locked with his and it didn't take much longer for her to throw her head back in a loud, gasping climax which stole her breath and no doubt alerted the maids to the fact they were both awake. He gently rolled them over, placing her on her back as he thrust deeply four more times and emptied himself into her, his eyes boring into hers.
Matthew collapsed on top of her, careful not to crush her willowy frame, placing his head on the center of her chest as her hot skin cooled. It took a moment for Matthew to regain his awareness, Mary could sense him readying to move off of her so she tightened her legs around his waist and allowed her hands to stroke his hair to calm him, silently begging him not to pull out of her. She had never known such contentment has having him inside of her or just to have him there with her at all.
"My dear, what am I to do with you?" she finally spoke, once her breathing had evened. Matthew moved his head to peer up quizzically at her face. "I just woke not two hours ago and you've already worn me out again!"
Matthew chuckled, placed a kiss between her breasts, laid his head down and closed his eyes. "Perhaps you should take a nap, my darling, because I can assure you that you will always need plenty of rest where I am concerned."
