Crazy

Crazy

Song sung by: Britney Spears

Characters by: Tamora Pierce

Story concept/written by: Kiriana Starfire

~Disclaimer~ Britney Spears owns the song "Crazy" and Tamora Pierce owns there characters and places mentioned in this piece. I stake no claim to either of them, and this piece is just a work of fanfiction

Baby, I'm so into you.

You've got that something, what can I do?

Baby, you spin me around, oh.

The earth is movin', but I can't feel the ground.

Every time you look at me

My heart is jumpin'. It's crazy to see.

Jon took his wife's hand. Goddess she was pale. Her breathing was wheezy and uneven. Her once shiny and think black hair had thinned and dulled. She was so thin, emaciated.

Baird had already told him there was nothing he could do. Alanna had even tried to save Thayet, but nothing worked. All the healers in the palace had tried, no one could do anything. The illness was too strong, too far along. If only Baird hadn't been in Port Caynn… If only Alanna had been able to get there more quickly from Pirate's Swoop… If only…

If only's were a dead end. They meant nothing.

The king pressed his lips to the back of her hand. "Please, Thayet. Don't die on me. I can't live without you. Love…" Tears spilled from his eyes as he looked at the beautiful face of his Queen.

"Jon…" Her voice was weak, but her eyes were clear for the first time in weeks. Jon's heart jumped at the sound of her voice and the sight of her eyes.

"Jon…" She reached up weakly with her free hand to touch his cheek. The King held that hand to his cheek. She wiped a tear from his cheek with her thumb.

"Jon…" She gave him a frail smile. "I love… you…"

Her voice trailed off. Her eyes fell closed, she drew a final breath. Her hand fell away from Jon's cheek limply.

Jon let out a howl like that of a wounded animal.

You drive me crazy

I just can't sleep.

I'm so excited, I'm in too deep.

Oh, oh, oh…crazy, but it feels alright.

Baby, thinkin' of you keeps me up all night.

Jon didn't eat, he couldn't. He didn't sleep, he couldn't. Life without Thayet was… meaningless.

He lay in bed the night after she died just staring up at the ceiling.

At her funeral he didn't cry. He'd already cried himself out.

When he did cry, he cried himself sick and vomited up what little was in his stomach.

The day after she'd died, after the funeral, he locked himself in his room and refused to come out.

His children, his friends, even Alanna, could do nothing but watch painfully as their father, their king, their friend killed himself with his grief.

Tell me, you're so into me.

That I'm the only one you will see.

Tel me I'm not in the blue, oh

That I'm not wastin'

My feelin's on you.

Every time I look at you,

My heart is jumpin, what can I do?

It all hurt too much. It hurt to look at her portrait. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to move. It hurt to live without Thayet.

And at the same time, Jon could not keep himself from doing any of these things. He couldn't stop looking at her portrait, lest he forget what she looked like. He couldn't stop breathing, lest he forget what her breath on his skin felt like. He couldn't keep from moving, lest he forget that she was always moving graceful and athletic. He couldn't keep from living, lest he forget…

You drive me crazy

I just can't sleep

I'm so excited, I'm in too deep

Oh, oh, oh…crazy, but it feels alright

Baby, thinkin' of you keeps me up all night.

It had been three months since Thayet's death. Jon rolled around in his bed, entangling the covers around his legs. He moaned unintelligible words and phrases.

He'd finally managed to sleep, only to have it wrought with nightmares of Thayet. She called to him. Called him to come to her side, to be with her… forever.

He sat up, gasping. His stark white hair was matted with sweat.

Quickly he disentangled his body from the blankets of the bed. The King dressed swiftly and silently made his way outside and towards Balor's Needle.

You drive me crazy baby

Excited, I'm in too deep

Oh, oh, oh…come on it feels alright

Baby thinkin' of you keeps me up all night.

You drive me crazy

I just can't sleep

I'm so excited, I'm in too deep

Oh, oh, oh…crazy, but it feels alright

Baby thinkin' of you keeps me up all night.

Jon stepped up to the edge of the tower's ledge, his toes were scant inches away from the edge. One step and…

He looked over it, dully thinking that it was a long way down.

Jon glanced at the horizon at the rising sun, and then he looked away from it.

He took a step forward. I never thought I'd end up like my father…He fell.

Crazy, crazy

You drive me crazy

But it feels alright

Baby thinkin' of you keeps me up all night.