Black and White and Red All Over

Saguru Hakuba knew that Kuroba inviting him over had a ninety-five percent chance of ending in embarrassment and ridicule. Especially when said invitation had been accompanied by a mischievous wink and a shower of confetti. But his detective's curiosity had gotten the better of him.

So here he was, waiting for Kuroba to open his goddamned door. It had been, according to Hakuba's watch, six minutes and twenty-seven seconds since he'd knocked. Now six minutes and twenty-nine seconds; still, nothing came from behind the door.

After another minute and thirty-four seconds, with much sighing and impatient foot-tapping from the half-Brit, he heard thuds and slams inside. After these ceased, a voice that Hakuba identified as Kuroba's called for him to enter. He did so.

"Why the hell did you have me- oh, god…" Hakuba went from indignant to extremely bewildered at the sight of Kaito Kuroba. On the couch. In something that was red, black, and lacy. Something that could only have been lingerie. Kaito grinned. "Like what you see?" He reached down into the…you know…of the garment and pulled out a large handful of rose petals. He walked over to the still-dumbstruck detective and proceeded to shower him with the petals.

This got a response out of Hakuba. "What the hell are you doing?" he sputtered. "Get those things away from me!" He irately brushed the petals off of his suit and out of his hair.

"You don't like it, Saguru-chan?" Kaito pouted and crossed his arms over his chest. As he did, the front of the lingerie buckled. A few more rose petals fell loose. "I did this just for you."

"Kuroba, have you gone dafter than you were before?" Hakuba screeched. "Why would you ever think that I'd like this?" When he'd considered what Kuroba wanted, he'd never thought it'd be this. He made his way toward the door. Just as his hand touched the knob, however, Kaito grabbed him. The magician spun the unfortunate detective around. The latter braced himself, eyes closed, for whatever that ninny Kuroba had in mind. When nothing happened after a few seconds, Hakuba opened his eyes.

Once again, he was struck dumb. Any sign of silk or lace on Kaito was gone, replaced by a T-shirt and jeans. The copious amounts of rose petals were gone, too. The only sign that anything had happened was the smirk on Kaito's face. Hakuba resisted the urge to wipe that smirk off and stormed out, letting the door slam behind him.

The detective stood on the sidewalk, straightening his tie and checking for any rose petals he'd missed. He was just about to leave when Kaito's bedroom window opened. "Happy Valentines' Day, Saguru-chan! Hope you enjoyed your present!"

Hakuba's desire to catch Kaitou Kid multiplied. His desire to accept any invitation of Kuroba's ever again vanished.

THE END

AN: I don't know where this came from, but I REGRET NOTHING! XD It could've been smutty, though. Sorry for those who would've liked that.