Fic Title: Tether Together
Author: I Love NASCAR
Fandom: Criminal Intent
Pairing: Goren/Eames
Date: December 7, 2007
Feedback: please
Rating: (G hug/kiss/general subjects)
Disclaimer: The only profit I receive from this story is the feedback you provide. All creative rights to the characters belong to Dick Wolf & gang.
Summary: The missing scene from Untethered.
Alexandra Eames ran a hand through her mane of hair, trying to keep her voice lowered, standing where she could see Bobby, just in case he needed her, her arms crossed. She wanted to be anywhere but where she was, in the hospital, waiting for her partner, her other half, to wake up, while she fought for his job and maybe her own as well.
Danny Ross hated saying what he was, wishing that he had the luxury of time. "You need a new partner. I should have separated you two weeks ago."
"I don't want a new partner. I don't need a new partner. Everything's under control." She wished that she was as certain as her words felt.
"Everything's under control. Your partner just went on a rogue assignment undercover in jail as a schizophrenic, a role he plays too well. He's not going to be able to use you to dig his way out of this. There has to be consequences this time…and a mental exam." He wasn't through, but was cut off.
"He's not crazy. He's just very good at acting." Not for the first time, she wished for their old captain, James Deakins, who had understood these types of things.
"I can understand why you would want to believe that, Eames." Since she'd revealed her pregnancy a few weeks before, he'd had his own suspicions about who the father was, but no one was talking. "But he won't get out of it this time. And to be completely honest, I'd be surprised if you and the ones that helped him get out of it unscathed."
She had always loved being a cop, but never cared much about her career. This time, with Bobby in a hospital bed, was no exception. "I've got some time coming." She had worked after Bobby's mother's funeral, worked after they'd investigated her late husband's murder again, and hadn't taken personal time for over a year.
"Eames…" Ross began but she cut him off.
"I've got some time coming. I'm going to take part of it and, maybe when I come back, they'll realize that he's still the same Robert Goren that they've awarded so many times, that has such a high closure rate, and that's still among some of the best cops in New York. He was doing his job, trying to help save victims, not just Donny but all the inmates that could have been killed. Did he use the wrong methods? Yes. But it's usually his wrong methods that usually get the best results." She paused. "I thought the same thing that you are right now when I met him. He was different from any cop I'd ever worked with, unorthodox, and, yes, sometimes a little bit crazy. But it's what makes him so great at what he does. He's taught me more than the academy ever did. And I don't want another partner."
Ross realized he wasn't going to win the argument right then anyway and finally saw how tired and stressed she was. "We'll talk about it in New York. I have to clean up this mess." He paused. "Why don't you find some place to get some rest?" He was unsure when the last time she'd slept was but knew it was over twenty-four hours before, not good for her or the baby.
She shook her head. "I'm staying with Bobby."
"Why does that not surprise me?" He asked, walking away.
Alex paused, standing with her back up against the wall. She should never have allowed him to take the risk, but she knew, in her heart, she knew, that what she'd told Ross was true. Taking risks was what made him a good cop, even if it allowed for the possibility that he could be hurt or killed. She also knew that if he allowed his nephew to be in danger, to be hurt, then he was changing part of himself, one of the parts she loved the most. For the first time in years, she allowed herself to wonder if he really was insane, if she was allowing her love for him to cloud her judgment about him. It was something she'd always feared, losing him. She'd already lost one man she loved; losing Bobby, in any way, was a nightmare she prayed she'd never have to face.
Robert Goren had been awake for awhile, wanting Alex, but, knowing from the conversation out in the hall, that it wasn't a good time. As he heard every word of the conversation, he allowed his mind wonder over how he'd arrived at this point.
It had all started with his mother, dead for four months now, but before that, such a huge part of his life. For months, he'd thought a part of him had died with her. She had been schizophrenic, which put everyone on guard, watching him, waiting for him to develop the same symptoms, everyone but Alex. His mother had been so vulnerable, he'd taken care of her for so long, that caring for victims, especially those with mental handicaps or illnesses, came second nature to him. He was a student of human nature, human contact, and could imitate anyone, so well that only he and Alex knew he was acting. It was what he had gotten in trouble for this time, what had nearly killed him, which could have killed not only his career but Alex's as well.
His mother's death had put him in a place that even he was afraid he couldn't find his way out of…and then Alex's late husband's partner had been killed. For the second time in their seven year partnership, she needed him and, the fact that she did need him, was the only thing to start bringing him out of his depression. He'd tried to be there, constantly doing what he thought was best for her, including solving her late husband's murder, taking care of her as she'd always taken care of him. They'd saved each other…and she'd become pregnant, a fact that had thrilled both of them. They both wanted children, both wanted to create a family of their own, and, even if the timing hadn't been exactly right, he felt that the baby was the best thing he'd done in his life.
Having a family of his own though was a problem, because he'd never had one growing up. Alex loved hers, the large, noisy chaos, the visits as often as she could with her sister and nephew, the conversations with her dad. On the complete opposite end of the spectrum, he wasn't even sure who his father was. The man he'd been raised to believe was his father had been a gambler, cheated on his mother, and died before he'd met Alex. The other possible father had been an affair of his mother's that turned out to be a rapist and had been executed the same night his mother died. His mother hadn't ever been what could be called a traditional mother, even before the schizophrenia took over, although he had loved her just the same. In later years, he'd become parent, his mother the child. His brother had once been homeless, was still a junkie, and hadn't bothered to visit their mother in Carmel Ridge or come to the funeral. Now he had a recently discovered nephew and, when that nephew was in danger, he did the same thing he would have for Alex, broken every rule in the book trying to save him, which had led to more acting and eventually 'Heaven', the room with bright lights, extreme heat, a room where he actually thought once or twice that he would go crazy or die. The only thing that had saved him was the one thing that always did, his memories that he brought to the front of his mind, the night Alex had told him she was pregnant and the day he met her, the day that had changed his life for the better. His memories were the only thing that had preserved what was left of his sanity, the only things that kept him going.
"Hey," One of the nurses that had been friendly earlier when they were examining him, the one that had put the IV in him, smiled from the doorway. "You have a visitor."
"Alex." He was able to smile when he saw her, although he noticed the same thing Ross did. None of her pregnancies had been easy on her, but the worry lines on her face, the circles at her eyes, weren't from worrying about the baby.
"Thank you," she softly told the nurse so she would leave, making her way to her partner's bedside. "How do you feel?"
"A little thirsty." He watched as she poured him a glass of water and carefully helped him drink it, making sure he got every drop. "Alex, I'm sorry."
"Maybe. But you'd do it again. And you will." She kissed his forehead. "It's okay."
"No. It's not." He knew one of her greatest fears was losing him, like she'd lost her husband. "It's not good for you or for the baby. And Ross said…"
She frowned, not liking the fact that he'd overheard. "Don't worry about what he said. This'll all blow over, Bobby, and we'll be back to normal."
"Normal's good," he said, trying to hide his skepticism that it would be that easy.
She closed her eyes for a brief second. "Normal would be great." She opened them again. "Are you tired? Do you need to rest some more?"
He moved over carefully, trying not to upset the IV, just enough that she could lay beside him, his arm going around her gently, protectively, assuring them both that he was all right. "Donny. What happened to Donny?"
She paused, frowning, but trying to hide it. "Logan's and my brother are going to look and then we can search too, when you come home."
"I've gotten enough people in trouble already," he said, repentant only of the damage he'd made to the people he cared for.
"The only one Ross knows helped you was me. And I'll take whatever punishment's coming." Anything was better than those five hours she'd waited for the phone call that had never come, her heart sinking lower each second. "How could they get in trouble for looking for him?"
He nodded, knowing she was right. He buried his head in her hair, smelling the faint smell of her shampoo. "I love you, Eames," he whispered, thinking she couldn't hear him, thinking about the ring carefully hidden away for Christmas, hoping she'd say yes. He knew, as he'd always known, that she was the best thing that had ever happened to him, but, in situations like this, where one of them was injured or even apart for a little while, he realized just how big a part of his life she was, how lost he would be without her.
"I love you too," she whispered, her head on his chest, giving him enough space to where he didn't feel trapped, feeling his heart beat, her own to the same rhythm. For the first time in days, she allowed herself to relax, finally feeling that they could return back to normal, that he was safe, and that he was there with her.
