Blondie: So. . . this happened. Yeah. A fanfic had to be written because of reasons. Warning: AU, AH, VERY OOC! IT'S A DRABBLE AND MEANT FOR LAUGHS! Enjoy:)
Kimmie: Hey, Everyone!
Yeah, this little story happened today…gotta love your single grandmas, am I right? Blondie B. Happy (aka my cousin Katie), wrote this with me.
Enjoy!
At the ripe, old age of 69, Sally Jackson was single and alone.
Her son, Percy, had recently moved out to live with his obnoxiously smart girlfriend, Annabeth Chase, who always liked to beat people at board games and had arachnophobia.
Sally spent most of her time playing Texas Hold'em with the local elderly bingo club. It was a sad, lonely life for 69 year old Sally. She was divorced from her husband Poseidon, simply for having a name as screwed up as Poseidon. They were drunk in Vegas…don't judge.
One day, Sally decided to move to be closer to Percy. This meant that she had to paint her apartment, which was an ugly shade of ripe banana yellow, which triggered her gag reflex, which was quite unfortunate.
She hired a couple young bros to come paint her moth-ball infested house.
Among them, was 20 year old Paul Blofis. He was…sexy, and young. And…well…hot and juicy! Which also made him pretty damn yummy.
(In case you can't tell…she had some weird fetishes)
Paul came over to paint her apartment, and she couldn't take her eyes off of him. She had to go into the bathroom at one point to wash her face, because it was so hot from his hotness.
She struck up conversation with Paul, which she found to be a name that turned her quite on.
"So, do you have a girlfriend?"
"No, I just broke up with her," he said with an eye roll. "She was a bitch."
"Ah, yes, I have experience with bitches," Sally answered, to which he gave her a really odd look, and at the time, she ignored it because she was lost in the depths of his mud brown eyes and wondering what it would be like to kiss his motorcycle gang-like beard.
Sally, to say the list, was completely infatuated with Paul. When she went to bingo night, all she did was talk about "Paul this…" and "Paul that…"
The elder men were getting annoyed with her, while the women swooned from her…uh…sexual…uh…endeavors? When she went home that night, all she could think about was Paul. She dreamed about him, to her delight, and the next day, he was there again!
She talked to him some more the next day and learned more about his life, but unfortunately the next day, she had to visit Percy and Annabeth at their apartment in Queens.
"So…I've met this guy…" she told them upon arriving.
"What's his name?" Annabeth inquired like a nosy little whore.
"Paul," she said dreamily.
"How old is he?" Percy asked.
"Twenty!" she exclaimed.
For a minute, they stared at her. Then, Percy said, "Jeez, Mom. You're a cougar!"
Annabeth studied her for a minute, and then said, even though Sally was still in the room, "No, she's not a cougar, she's too old. She's a snow leopard!"
THE END! XD XD!
This has been a Blondie B Happy and Kimmie G914 Production.
GOODNIGHT EVERYONE!
