Title: Don Eppes' guide to how not to cheat at math

Rating: PG

Genre: Gen

Spoilers: at least till early season 5

Word count: 650

Disclaimer: own nothing, not being paid.

A/N: From a prompt from Cha Oseye Tempest Thrain. Betaed by the lovely Cha Oseye Tempest Thrain, starrylizard and anniehow.

Summary: Of course, I was never that bad at math anyway...


"You seem to do pretty well with understanding," Nikki waved her hand around, indicating the whiteboards surrounding them, the strange symbols decorating their surfaces, "all of this."

"Yeah, well, have it explained to you enough times and it starts to sink in a little." A slow smile spread across Don's face. "Of course, I was never that bad at math anyway. In fact—"

Charlie turned around from the equations he was writing, a marker in his hand, and shook his head, his lips compressed into a thin line. "Do you really have to go there?"

"Go where?" Colby asked. He spread his hands in an expansive gesture, his elbows resting on the arms of the chair as he slumped in the seat, his knees apart.

"I don't have to, Charlie," Don replied, his voice over-serious. "I can stop if you want..."

David looked back and forth between them from his perch on the edge of a desk, consternation creasing his brow. "Stop... Don, you can't stop now."

"Yeah," Colby agreed with a nod. "That'd be against every rule of gossip."

"...but then I'll disappoint David and Colby."

"And we wouldn't want to do that." Charlie rolled his eyes. "Fine, tell them. It's not like it's that embarrassing to me." He gave a shrug and turned back to the board, a quirk of his lips indicating a hint of amusement. "You, on the other hand..."

"I'm officially intrigued." David grinned at Colby.

"Okay, so back to the story," Nikki prodded.

"So..." Don began again, before pausing to draw out the anticipation. "The only time that I failed a math assignment was when Charlie did it for me."

The room erupted into laughter as Charlie bobbed his head to the board in sheepish agreement. "You serious?" Colby asked. "Professor Genius failed your assignment?"

David shook his head, a flabbergasted smile on his face. "I can't believe it."

"Me either," Nikki agreed. "Were you having an off day or somethin'?"

Charlie faced them again. "Note how none of them are even surprised or shocked that you cheated, Don."

Colby snorted. "If I'd had a genius little brother you can bet that I would have asked him to do my homework for me once or twice."

"Me too," David agreed with Colby.

"Me three," Nikki added.

"So, how exactly did Charlie fail your math assignment?" Colby asked. "I can't believe he got at least half of them wrong."

Don waved a hand at Charlie; the story-telling baton passed.

"I didn't get any of them wrong, actually," Charlie explained. "But they were so easy that I got bored, and just wrote the answers without showing any of the work."

David and Colby looked at each other and grinned. They all knew that in the world of student math the work was more important than the answer.

"I hadn't bothered looking at them," Don continued, "just assumed Charlie would have done them right, and handed them in. Next thing I knew, Mom and Dad had been called to the school to deal with the very serious issue of my cheating. Apparently the teacher had compared the handwriting. No surprise that they immediately figured out that it was Charlie who had answered the questions for me. And then we both got grounded for a month."

"Ouch," Colby commented. "Bet that wasn't fun."

Don grinned. "Yeah, you could say that. They even took away anything that Charlie could write with when we were in our rooms so he couldn't work on his math."

"But at least they couldn't take away my brain."

"If only Colby could say that," David muttered with a grin, causing Colby to lob a pen at him in retaliation.

"Anyway," Charlie interrupted. "I've finished my calculations."

The air in the room changed, light-heartedness turning to seriousness, the story told the moment before largely forgotten.

Don asked, "What do you have?"

--FIN--