A/N: I don't own One Piece.

Thirty Ways to Annoy Smoker

Call him 'old man' whenever you see him.

Stick a 'vacuum me' sign on the back of his jacket.

Grope Tashigi.

Date Tashigi.

Squirt vinegar in his eyes.

Sing Eiffel 65's Blue song whenever he's talking.

Wear socks on your hands, draw little faces on them and mime them talking whenever Tashigi and Smoker are talking.

Whenever he's about to smoke, steal his cigars.

Whenever he's explaining seastone to someone, scream "IT'S NOT MAN-MADE!"

Have him arrested for air pollution.

Tie his bootlaces together.

Push Tashigi down the stairs.

Draw faces on the toes of his boots.

Follow him around singing 'The Wheels on the Bus'.

Shave half of his hair off, and dye the remaining hair green.

Tell Whitebeard that Smoker is hot for him.

Steal his jutte.

Steal his trousers.

Steal his soul.

Steal his shadow.

Glue Tashigi to the ceiling by her feet.

Flip him off whenever he's not looking. Stick your tongue out as well.

Compare him to Asuma from Naruto.

Impersonate Tashigi.

While he's sleeping, bind his hands together with rope that's laced with seastone and sellotape his eyes shut.

At completely random moments, throw a book at his head.

While he's in smoke form, use a hoover to vacuum him up.

Convince Luffy that Smoker is the Pirate King. Watch as Luffy fights him and actually wins this time.

Put tarantulas in Tashigi's shoes.

Put crabs in Smoker's boots.