A/N: THIS IS SMUT. IT IS JUST SMUT. LITERALLY ALL THAT HAPPENS IN THIS ONESHOT IS SEX. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

My winter-holiday-of-choice present to a fandom on the brink of hiatus insanity. And a certain specific person in that fandom; you know who you are. Enjoy.


Regina Mills is a difficult woman to love sometimes. The citizens of Storybrooke might know that in the abstract, given her history, but no-one understands it quite like Emma Swan. Sometimes the older woman drives her completely insane, pushing her to the verge of swearing off the Evil Queen forever. Sometimes, she ends up storming out of the mayoral "mansion" in a huff, shouting over her shoulder (but not loudly enough to wake Henry).

But not when it was one o'clock in the morning and Emma had spent almost a full day at the station, going over the finer points of a car theft. Not on Christmas Eve. Not when, upon opening the door with her spare key, she found the entire house dark except the living room- from which came a strange, flickering light.

Not when she slowly crept down the hall, sure she was about to surprise an intruder, and instead found the living room lit by a log fire in the hearth- and a very familiar mayor lying on the couch almost naked.

"I- you- what?" she stammered, dropping the keys she'd positioned between her fingers like claws. They fell to the plush carpet with a soft jingle. Regina looked up.

"Ah. You're home."

Emma blinked several times. "Yes. I'm home and you're…um…there." She raked a hand through her hair, mussing the already-tousled blonde curls even more. When the brunette stood (slowly, deliberately, with the firelight painting her bare skin golden), her gaze shifted almost compulsively to the floor.

"You're there," she continued, "and wearing very little clothing."

Glancing down at herself, Regina made a show of noticing her attire as if for the first time. "Oh, this? Just an outfit I picked up at the mall today. You know, the sales are already starting." She traced one finger along the top of the red velvet panties, smiling deviously at Emma. "Do you like it?"

A moment of silence. The sheriff swallowed hard. The entire ensemble comprised said panties and a matching demi-cup bra, both of the same red velvet with white faux fur trim. It wasn't the least she'd seen Regina in, by a long shot, but damn if that woman didn't succeed in catching her off-guard every time. And she just stood there, trouble in her sly grin and dark eyes, waiting for the answer to her exaggeratedly innocent question.

What's the best way to say 'it makes me want to take you right here in the doorway' without sounding like an idiot? Emma wondered. But what came out of her mouth was, "It's very seasonal."

Regina chuckled. "Well, I got you a waffle iron for Christmas," she said, walking- no, stalking was a more accurate word –toward the blonde. "So I figured something a bit more…romantic was in order."

"While we're spoiling each other's presents, I got you a throw blanket with that vintage Chat Noir poster printed on it," Emma replied, looking up to meet Regina's gaze. She shrugged. "It seemed pretty classy. And it was on sale."

It was a game they'd played before, with the ex-queen being her usual come-hither self and the savior keeping the conversation innocuous for as long as possible. It had never gone on long enough to drive either party mad with sexual frustration. Yet. Emma managed to keep her cool as Regina began to play with a strand of her hair, twisting it gently around her finger. The look in her eyes practically screamed what Emma had been thinking moments before, but she didn't say a word.

Emma cleared her throat. "So. How was mayor-ing today?"

"Fine," Regina replied, taking a step back. The sheriff was forced to follow or risk hair-pulling in a less pleasant context than usual.

"And Henry?"

"He's also fine. Upstairs asleep, so don't worry about that."

They had made their way past the couch now, in front of the fireplace. The combination of warmth, dim light, and her scantily-clad lover was beginning to work its magic on Emma- and not the kind that looked like a green storm cloud. However, Regina had picked up her casual tone, speaking as if they'd met at Granny's by chance.

"Yes, today was almost boring. I looked into that stolen Camaro case you're working on. It's perfectly ordinary theft, turns out. No magic or shadowy strangers involved; at least, none that I can-"

"Regina?" Emma said. The brunette raised an eyebrow.

"Yes?"

"Shut up and kiss me."

And Regina obliged, uncoiling the strand of hair from around her finger and reaching up to take Emma's face in her hands as their lips met. It started as a slow, sweet kiss, the kind they had begun to share more often, the kind that had been rare at the beginning of their roller-coaster relationship. The kind of kiss they might not mind Henry seeing. Then Emma's hands began to wander down Regina's back, to toy with the top of her panties, and the situation became much more R-rated.

Emma pulled the red velvet slowly down over the curve of Regina's ass, then moved her hands around Regina's hips to push at the sides. As if in answer, the brunette smoothly unbuttoned and unzipped Emma's jeans, still kissing her, breaking away occasionally for breath. A moment later, they both paused.

"Well," Regina said, just as the silence began to get awkward, "I think neither of us is going to be as naked as we want each other to be at this rate."

"Right."

Smiling sheepishly, Emma stepped away to allow Regina to finish removing her panties, and shimmied out of her own jeans and underwear for good measure. Turnabout is fair play, after all. When they'd finished, Regina stepped closer again.

"Shy, savior?" she purred. When Emma raised an eyebrow, Regina plucked at the neck of her gray thermal shirt.

"Practical as this may be, it's not exactly sexy," she explained. "Let me help."

With that, she began to pull the shirt up from the bottom. Emma obligingly raised her arms, and the cotton fabric slid over her head. Regina tossed it on the couch, then paused to tuck a stray piece of hair behind Emma's ear. She stared into the blonde's eyes. "Gods, you're beautiful," she whispered, before pressing her lips to Emma's in a kiss much more insistent and rough than the last. Emma's teeth worried her lower lip, and she tasted a faint tang of blood.

As they kissed, Regina knelt down; Emma followed, and found herself being slowly lowered until she was lying on the thick, soft carpet. Regina's tongue darted across her lips one final time, and then the brunette stood up. For a moment, she just gazed down at Emma, smiling.

"If you think that's it…" the blonde began, but Regina raised a hand to shush her.

"Of course not; I'm not that inconsiderate. This is part of your Christmas present," she replied. "But I do love the sight of you half-naked and willing on my living room floor."

Emma rolled her eyes, but smirked. "Yeah, yeah. Less gawking, more fucking, okay?"

"As you wish." Regina eyed her lover critically. "You know, it's hard for me to give your breasts the attention they deserve when they're covered like that."

Sitting up halfway, Emma reached around to her bra's clasps, and- slowly –unhooked them. With equal slowness, she pulled the straps off her shoulders and down her arms, then set the bra aside. "Better?"

"Mmm. Much better," came the slightly rough-sounding reply. Bending down, Regina traced a finger across Emma's collarbone and down her left breast. With the other hand, she reached back and undid her own bra. "In the interest of fair play," she explained.

"Uh-huh." For her part, Emma sounded like she didn't give a damn about the concept of fair play. Her gaze slowly traveled up and down Regina's form, taking in her body as the firelight danced across it. Both women's breathing had grown a bit shallower, a bit faster; Regina bit her lower lip in a way that made Emma want to lick her own and lay down on her side next to the blonde. Her eyes stayed locked on Emma's, their brown darker than usual with lust.

"Now," she said quietly, "where to start?" One hand ran lightly along Emma's side. The sheriff started to sit up, only to be gently but firmly pushed back down.

"Uh-uh. You first. Since it's Christmas." Regina's smile promised sin, and Emma wanted nothing more than to be dragged down with her. So when the older woman said, "Lie down, Princess," she complied.

"Gina-" she began, only to be stunned into silence by the warm, wet feeling of lips on her neck. Regina kissed, and nibbled her way downwards before pausing, smiling against Emma's collarbone.

"Let's see. I think I'll just kiss you all over and see where that gets us," she said.

"No- no objections here," Emma managed; words almost failed her, since Regina's hand had found her nipple and begun toying with it. Regina laughed, a slightly deeper sound than usual, and the hand was soon replaced by her lips. And tongue. And, a few times, gingerly, teeth.

Dear god.

A minute later, Regina scooted down to allow her lips to travel lower, over Emma's breast to the top of her stomach. "So tell me, Miss Swan," she asked, "have you been naughty or nice this year?"

As she said it, her hand strayed to the regions between Emma's legs. She just barely brushed the lightest touch over the tiny, sensitive bump there, but it was enough to make her lover shiver and let out a small, involuntary noise. "Naughty," Emma gasped. "Definitely naughty. Pretty sure this alone disqualifies me from the nice list."

Regina's kisses paused at the outside of her pelvis. "Good answer." Carefully raising one of Emma's legs, she crawled between them and placed her hands on Emma's hips. Then, she lowered her lips to the same place her fingers had been earlier. As she sucked and licked at the small swelling, Emma's breathing began to speed up. Her hands fisted almost involuntarily in Regina's hair, tugging at the dark strands.

"Gina…for the love of…ah…don't stop…"

Through the muttered litany of commands, Regina kept going. Her nails dug into Emma's hips slightly, not enough to break the skin but enough to make Emma gasp at the oddly pleasurable sting. Her pressure and pace increased, and Emma's little moans grew more and more frequent. Until-

It wasn't a scream, exactly, but a strangled cry burst forth as Emma's back arched and her entire body seemed to shake. Once her breath started to grow more regular, Regina's lips ceased their ministrations. She pushed herself up to smile down at Emma, who stared back at her, pupils still dilated and cheeks flushed.

"Damn," Emma murmured.

"Merry Christmas, dear," the former queen replied, moving up to kiss Emma gently. This time, the blonde was the one to break away first.

"So," she said, raising an eyebrow, "ready for your present?"


A/N: Happy holidays!